Embarrassed

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Hi All
I’m new to the site and am here for some advice
I’m a 36year old woman and have always suffered with a weak bladder. My issue is that I think to myself I will nip to the loo in a mo and then within seconds I’m so desperate I can’t make it in time. It’s not like I have held on too long and I’m never desperate before I decide to go to the loo.
The reason I find myself here today though is i have a partner of 8 years and I always thought I managed to hide it quite well from him.....until today
We just had a big argument where he told me he was embarrassed of me because I smelt of wee and I’m a 36year old woman who can’t even go to The toilet properly.
Whilst his outburst seems quite cruel he has no idea that this has gone on for so long because I have always been too embarrassed to say anything to him.
I don’t really know what’s wrong with me or if there is any medical help I can get because I’m mortified to think my partner is ashamed of me
Any advice would be appreciated

 

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Set up an appointment with doctor straight away.

 

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Thank you for sharing your experience. You are certainly not alone in having a weak bladder!
It sounds like you might want to set a very tight schedule for yourself even if you dont feel any urge and go to the loo every 40 minutes to empty. Also having a sanitary pad at all times for small unexpected moments when you sneeze etc.
It sounds like you and your partner have bottled up a lot of things that are difficult topics which is why this recent blow out arguement.
You might have to review your self esteem as "we who pee" may be in a relationship with someone who is not kind or respectful because we feel like damaged goods even though EVERY human being, your partner included,has body issues to be humbled by. No one is a better person just because their bladder works more efficiently than yours.
Good for you to reach out to this group and feel free to talk about this! Sometimes there are no easy answers, not even from doctors but you are not alone.
Im.sure people here will listen and give suggestions to live more comfortably.

 

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It looks like relationship issues have discouraged you from seeking the help you have needed for some time. I'm glad you have started to deal with it. Well done!

Do go to your GPs surgery as soon as possible. There are several kinds of incontinence with different ways of accommodating them. Your GP and practice nurses will be able to advise.

When you are fixed up, hopefully your relationship issues will calm down.

 

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@Embarrassed36

I've never understood the cruelty some of us face from family or
friends or even partners. It's not right.

I'll parrot what others here will tell you. Set up an appointment
ASAP with a physician or 'continence nurse' as you call the in the
UK. You need to begin a treatment program for this and the time
is now.

Relationships with this issue are certainly more challenging, but
there are many who do manage with accommodation and partner 'education'.

Wishing you well.

 

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"we who pee"

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Good one, MayMay!

That we are, indeed.

 

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Please let us know how you get on. We all care about you.

 

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Best of wishes.

 

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There’s no excuse at all for someone being cruel about it

 

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Go along and see your. Doctor and. Tell your partner bladder. Problems can happen to anyone

 

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I get it. I keep wondering if hypnosis would work. It keeps striking so quickly, even a thought can bring it on and not quit.

 

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Make an appointment and take him along with you so he will understand it can happen to anybody at any age it could be a urinary infection or something else but you need to go to the doctor first