Diapers,briefs,nappies what you prefer.
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@Jaytee I see the exact opposite. I find the word nappy as having been made to be specifically an embarrassing word so I've never wanted to use it. I see diaper as a baby's article of clothing that keeps body waste contained until the child develops the muscles that contain the waste within. To me, protective underwear and pullups are simply descriptive of functions they have for people who are likely not babies. By saying I am using a euphemism makes it sound like it's being said that I can call it whatever I want but really they are still just diapers. I don't agree and I already indicated earlier another view of why someone would be inclined to claiming they wear "diapers".
So maybe it boils down to how embarrassment manifests itself in any given person's mind. But isn't it in a sense that everyone is running away from embarrassment? - when by my thinking - we are designed through evolution to keep inside until in a private place that which we (us here on this site) can't keep inside, hence embarrassment - which is a natural tool to trying to maintain that privacy. It is natural and ok to be embarrassed. That is why we are here in this safe place to learn and or get support in utilizing our embarrassment to our best advantage. Each person should call what they wear whatever feels most appropriate to themselves and understand that others find other words more appropriate - all for reasons that might appear to conflict with someone else's. We all know anyway that whatever it's called at any time, it's due to the condition of incontinence and that we are all doing our best to find a wide variety of ways to manage as best we can.
So maybe it boils down to how embarrassment manifests itself in any given person's mind. But isn't it in a sense that everyone is running away from embarrassment? - when by my thinking - we are designed through evolution to keep inside until in a private place that which we (us here on this site) can't keep inside, hence embarrassment - which is a natural tool to trying to maintain that privacy. It is natural and ok to be embarrassed. That is why we are here in this safe place to learn and or get support in utilizing our embarrassment to our best advantage. Each person should call what they wear whatever feels most appropriate to themselves and understand that others find other words more appropriate - all for reasons that might appear to conflict with someone else's. We all know anyway that whatever it's called at any time, it's due to the condition of incontinence and that we are all doing our best to find a wide variety of ways to manage as best we can.
Archives1
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Incontinence wear seems to be the least confusing. My nurses and carers sometimes tease me by calling them knickers. Here in the UK that usually refers to ladies panties but I suppose that's what they look like, having no front exit. Sometimes I'm not sure they are teasing.
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MayMay: There's a true story about handicapped access to restuarants and places like "City Halls" (the latter tend to be old and since they "enforce" the law, can get away with non-compliance). People who as not handicapped are "Temporarily Able Bodied." As in, "There but for the grace of God...."
My Mom, bless her heart, while in a wheel chair, was arrested in San Francisco during a protest regarding handicapped access. They were in front of City Hall. The cops gave up. There was no handicapped access and they were too lazy to carry her-and-her-wheelchair up the steps. (Too many donuts with their coffee and it wasn't like anyone was being violent.).
She was an old campaigner. She was in her 70s then, and was stll protesting deep into her 80s. It's up to us to demand an end to "teasing" and belittlement. Embarrass them politely. "For a nurse, that doesn't seem very professional. I expect better."
My Mom, bless her heart, while in a wheel chair, was arrested in San Francisco during a protest regarding handicapped access. They were in front of City Hall. The cops gave up. There was no handicapped access and they were too lazy to carry her-and-her-wheelchair up the steps. (Too many donuts with their coffee and it wasn't like anyone was being violent.).
She was an old campaigner. She was in her 70s then, and was stll protesting deep into her 80s. It's up to us to demand an end to "teasing" and belittlement. Embarrass them politely. "For a nurse, that doesn't seem very professional. I expect better."
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@npj "Euphemisms just add to the mindset that it's something to be embarrassed or ashamed about."
Exactly. I agree with you 100%. There is nothing inherently shameful about these words. People let them be shameful.
@etamilbus, those words are not made to embarrass, they have an association that we reinforce by saying away from them. The word diaper actually originally referred to a diamond shaped quilting pattern. It was so common in the birds eye cotton used on babies that it became a synecdoche for garment they wear to contain urine and feces. Nappy is a diminutive of napkin, because the unfolded cloth looks like a napkin. Neither of the words were made to embarrass. They were made to describe the physical appearance of a particular article of clothing, and because we associate that coughing with infancy, we impose additional meaning on it. WE do that.
If you don't like the embarrassment associated with the words, then don't treat them like something shameful. It signals to the whole that you're embarrassed of the garment. So embarrassed that you'll go to great lengths to avoid even using the word.
Exactly. I agree with you 100%. There is nothing inherently shameful about these words. People let them be shameful.
@etamilbus, those words are not made to embarrass, they have an association that we reinforce by saying away from them. The word diaper actually originally referred to a diamond shaped quilting pattern. It was so common in the birds eye cotton used on babies that it became a synecdoche for garment they wear to contain urine and feces. Nappy is a diminutive of napkin, because the unfolded cloth looks like a napkin. Neither of the words were made to embarrass. They were made to describe the physical appearance of a particular article of clothing, and because we associate that coughing with infancy, we impose additional meaning on it. WE do that.
If you don't like the embarrassment associated with the words, then don't treat them like something shameful. It signals to the whole that you're embarrassed of the garment. So embarrassed that you'll go to great lengths to avoid even using the word.
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@msuspartan i am ok with avoiding using those words i avoid such as nappy and diaper. when created, those words most likely were not made to embarrass but over time they have taken on specific meanings that when applied to my life feels hurtful.
that those names have been created just as you said is fine. it makes sense to have that sort of origin, but stigma/attitude/connotation has developed as well and using those words for me is not good. i get bothered using them myself and bothered hearing others say them (especially if it applies to me) so i don’t use them for myself.
as for embarrassment, i expect it. i don’t think of my incontinence problems as anything to not feel embarrassment about. i will always feel that such a condition is a defect in my body because it is. it is something i would prefer to not have. i do my best to hide it whenever necessary. if i were to be having an incontinence episode and someone were to be aware of it, i would be feeling embarrassment. using those above mentioned words regardless of origin heightens my feelings of embarrassment and shame and it hurts.
if other people like using diaper and nappy, i do not have a problem with that and i am happy they are comfortable in the way they deal with it. i may tend to avoid conversation that uses those words. to me using descriptive words like i’ve mentioned above removes as best as possible the embarrassment that i personally feel. that to me helps me in dealing with my situation.
that those names have been created just as you said is fine. it makes sense to have that sort of origin, but stigma/attitude/connotation has developed as well and using those words for me is not good. i get bothered using them myself and bothered hearing others say them (especially if it applies to me) so i don’t use them for myself.
as for embarrassment, i expect it. i don’t think of my incontinence problems as anything to not feel embarrassment about. i will always feel that such a condition is a defect in my body because it is. it is something i would prefer to not have. i do my best to hide it whenever necessary. if i were to be having an incontinence episode and someone were to be aware of it, i would be feeling embarrassment. using those above mentioned words regardless of origin heightens my feelings of embarrassment and shame and it hurts.
if other people like using diaper and nappy, i do not have a problem with that and i am happy they are comfortable in the way they deal with it. i may tend to avoid conversation that uses those words. to me using descriptive words like i’ve mentioned above removes as best as possible the embarrassment that i personally feel. that to me helps me in dealing with my situation.
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@etamilbus
"i will always feel that such a condition is a defect in my body because it is. it is something i would prefer to not have. i do my best to hide it whenever necessary."
Being near sighted is a defect in people's bodies too. My niece has cystic fibrosis, definitely a defect in her body. I have two different blood disorders that cause me to clot uncontrollably. These are all 'defects in our bodies', and definitely things we will prefer not to have. That doesn't inherently mean it's something we hide, and none of these are things we feel shame about.
Most people with glasses aren't bothered about it. Not anymore anyway. It's been a long time since the '50s when school bullies were calling people 4 eyes for wearing glasses. Social norms have evolved with respect to that corrective device. Ask yourself why that is.
Is it because people were ashamed of their glasses and hide them whenever possible, or because they slowly stopped treating it as a source of embarrassment, and the concept lost its power as a source of shame?
You can handle it whatever way works for you, but don't mistake your personal feelings for the reality of the way the world works. Diapers are only a dirty word because we make then that way, and collectively allow the narrative to be colored that way. You don't have to take up that fight, but don't tell other people how the rules work.
"i will always feel that such a condition is a defect in my body because it is. it is something i would prefer to not have. i do my best to hide it whenever necessary."
Being near sighted is a defect in people's bodies too. My niece has cystic fibrosis, definitely a defect in her body. I have two different blood disorders that cause me to clot uncontrollably. These are all 'defects in our bodies', and definitely things we will prefer not to have. That doesn't inherently mean it's something we hide, and none of these are things we feel shame about.
Most people with glasses aren't bothered about it. Not anymore anyway. It's been a long time since the '50s when school bullies were calling people 4 eyes for wearing glasses. Social norms have evolved with respect to that corrective device. Ask yourself why that is.
Is it because people were ashamed of their glasses and hide them whenever possible, or because they slowly stopped treating it as a source of embarrassment, and the concept lost its power as a source of shame?
You can handle it whatever way works for you, but don't mistake your personal feelings for the reality of the way the world works. Diapers are only a dirty word because we make then that way, and collectively allow the narrative to be colored that way. You don't have to take up that fight, but don't tell other people how the rules work.
Archives1
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@msuspartan there are certain qualities of incontinence that most people find disturbing. near sightedness does not have that sort of stigma and that is likely why big optical stores are so successful in their marketing nowadays. i am hoping that the same does NOT happen with protective underwear. both problems have been around just as long i assume but incontinence wear has not taken off like glasses has.
i find hiding urine and feces quite a bit different from dealing with the above mentioned other conditions. it is very unfortunate to have those. i have some health problems myself and i don’t have problems talking about them. incontinence i do.
i am actually quite bothered by your suggestion that i am mistaking my personal feelings for reality. and yes diapers are a dirty word because “we” (not me) made them that way. they are firstly dirtied by something that nature has designated as dirty and to be contained and then disposed of discreetly. i never told anyone how the rules work (any more than you are telling others now how they work). i am pretty sure that i indicated in my earlier replies that i believe everyone should be comfortable to use the terms that best work for them. i am very ok with that. this is not telling how the rules work.
i am leaving this conversation now. i’m sorry it has taken this turn. if there is a response to this i will read it but will not reply.
i find hiding urine and feces quite a bit different from dealing with the above mentioned other conditions. it is very unfortunate to have those. i have some health problems myself and i don’t have problems talking about them. incontinence i do.
i am actually quite bothered by your suggestion that i am mistaking my personal feelings for reality. and yes diapers are a dirty word because “we” (not me) made them that way. they are firstly dirtied by something that nature has designated as dirty and to be contained and then disposed of discreetly. i never told anyone how the rules work (any more than you are telling others now how they work). i am pretty sure that i indicated in my earlier replies that i believe everyone should be comfortable to use the terms that best work for them. i am very ok with that. this is not telling how the rules work.
i am leaving this conversation now. i’m sorry it has taken this turn. if there is a response to this i will read it but will not reply.
Archives1
Staff member
I don’t have any problem when my supplies are called diapers, because that’s exactly what they are. I’ve worn diapers most of my life, and they are cloth diapers that you pin on. After many decades, I’ve developed a thick skin. But I wasn’t always this way and it took those decades to recover from my upbringing in a dysfunctional family.
I do understand people’s sensitivity.
When people found out I was no longer sensitive and vulnerable, I lost both family and friends. When I couldn’t serve as their vehicle to accept their personal baggage, I was no longer in their world view.
By all means, grow your own thick skin. But be aware that it may cost you friends, when were never really friends anyway.
I do understand people’s sensitivity.
When people found out I was no longer sensitive and vulnerable, I lost both family and friends. When I couldn’t serve as their vehicle to accept their personal baggage, I was no longer in their world view.
By all means, grow your own thick skin. But be aware that it may cost you friends, when were never really friends anyway.
Archives1
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Well put Jason!
This all becomes very personal issues within us. People will be at varying places along the change curve. If you find a term very embarrassing; don’t use that term. Yet just because one finds a term embarrassing doesn’t mean there is
Something necessarily wrong with that term but rather personal connotations to that term. For certain people the word diaper is offensive.
Personally I don’t get offended by it. I wear diapers to manage my incontinence. Do I like that I am incontinent obviously NO I don’t! Yet I am very thankful I can wear diapers to allow me to live more with society and that the diapers enable me to not always have to worry where the washrooms are.
It all comes down to personal perspective and self psychology in how one views themselves.
Everyone should be able to love themselves for who they are. If one cannot the problems are originating within oneself.
This all becomes very personal issues within us. People will be at varying places along the change curve. If you find a term very embarrassing; don’t use that term. Yet just because one finds a term embarrassing doesn’t mean there is
Something necessarily wrong with that term but rather personal connotations to that term. For certain people the word diaper is offensive.
Personally I don’t get offended by it. I wear diapers to manage my incontinence. Do I like that I am incontinent obviously NO I don’t! Yet I am very thankful I can wear diapers to allow me to live more with society and that the diapers enable me to not always have to worry where the washrooms are.
It all comes down to personal perspective and self psychology in how one views themselves.
Everyone should be able to love themselves for who they are. If one cannot the problems are originating within oneself.
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