Hey @dalexwitte:
You are not alone in this. I'm 29; and with my severe spasms I unfortunately suffer from the same situation. If I do not wear protection at night; I am pretty much screwed.
The worst thing in regaurds to spasms is that they hurt; but you physically know you are suffering from an involuntary loss of urine. So you pretty much go to bed dependent on something you do not want to wear. Ive found my involuntary loss is more attributed to laying down or in a relaxed state.
I will say a prayer for you tonight and hope that things will turn around for the better for you. There are many things that can cause problems will leak; environmental I suppose could be one of them, thus you're issues with the dishes.
Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs