Coming to terms with it

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So i went away for awhile, trying to pretend to myself that i dont hsve the incontinence issues i do. Trying to do a sort of ridiculous mind over matter thing. But now as my accidents are becoming a bit more frequent, ive finally switched to a tape diaper.do i hate it, yes. Do i need it, absolutely. I still try to go in the toilet as oftrn as possible and i hsve no problems with poop so i use the toilet for that but sometimes the extra bit of time it takes to untape my diaper results in an accident or at least a partial accident. But at least no ones the wiser. Im slowly coning to terms with being a young woman under 30 who pees her pants and thr mystery of why is becoming irrelevent. I learned to stop being so stubborn and in denial when i had a horrifically embarrassing accident last month. I had had 3 dry days in a row and so i decided i was doing good and back to panties. I went to a gala type chRity event where everyone dresses up. Feeling like a confodrnt, put together woman, i bought a new outfit: velour leggings and a sparkly top. I had a great time. And then...a dribble out of no where. Shit. My bladder stsrted to ache. The urge had come on so quickly. I almost stsrted to cry as i hurridd to the bathroom with an already wet crotch. My heart sank when i got ibside. 3 women were ahead of me waiting for stalls. I was determined to hold it. I didnt care about their dirty looks as i held between my legs. Another dribble then another. I was quickly losing the battle. I finally rushed into a stall already peeing down my legs. Too late. I left humiliatrd and feeling like a failure. But on a slight positive note, ive stopped being so stubborn and am working on learning to be thankful that i have the option of decent protection for my problem.

 

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You don't have to untape and retape, just wear some pretty tight underwear and push the pad down and pull back up again after using the toilet, that's what I did for years at work and felt quite normal ish.

 

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It is tough especailly whe none has other things going on, I want to give up sometimes and then I think-I am still here and not it great pain, learn to live with it. I stay home a lot more and trying to get my worlsmen's thing over and get my body back as much as possilbe.

 

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I'm a guy, ShiRae, and I have had similar situations as you've explained [not counting the legging or shimmery top]. I thought I had gotten more control and went without a pad. Bad idea! I always wear black pants in case I have an "emergency." I've learned that when I go out in the public to wear a pad every time. As the saying goes, "It is what it is." My hope is for you that as you are so young the medical field will develop something that will help you in the future. I'm 71 and don't hold out much hope for that happening in my lifetime.

BTW, I recently started taking Myrbetriq and Vesicare in an effort to help with my OAB. I've been happy that it has helped some. Would it be worth a talk with your doctor to see if it would help you?

 

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It's hard to accept any medical condition. I didn't my 20s trying to pretend that I didn't have ulcerative colitis, to the point that I'd get into remission and go off my meds because I hated having to take a dozen or more pills a day. Then I'd end up right back into an ulcerative colitis flare.

I completely get how you feel when you go several days without a leak, since I have the same thing. I often go a couple of weeks between accidents, and taking off a completely dry diaper day after day makes me feel like I can get away without wearing one. And for a while I can - until suddenly I can't, and I have an accident that's far more embarrassing than it should be. I have to stop and remind myself that it's far more embarrassing to have wet pants than to wear a brief that nobody notices anyway.

@laalaauk has a great suggestion about wearing snug underwear over a brief. That will let you take the waist loosely enough that you can pull it down, rather than having to untape.

Being able to pull down the brief is a huge lifesaver. I make it to the toilet most of the time, though with my urgency I may not have much time before I leak. With the right taking technique, I can slip the brief down in the same amount of time it would take to get my underwear down, and it saves me a whole lot of accidents.

 

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Hi @ShiRae, I know this urgency thing can hit you right out of the blue!! With the cooler weather I've been experiencing that happens to me. But please don't think for a mili-second you're a failure. You're just human and accidents like that can happen to anyone at any time. One minute I'm fine and then two minutes later I get this feeling where you gotta go and NOW!! I'm at the point where I'll wear something absorbent during times I haven't done so before. After all I think it's better safe than sorry.
And you are 100 percent spot-on to be thankful that the kind of protection you need is readily available. And that in itself is a sure sign that you are far from being the only one affected by incontinence.

 

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Hi @ShiRae, sounds like you have classic OAB/urge incontinence symptoms. You don't mention if you've seen a doctor but, as others have suggested, there are treatment options. None are cures, none are perfect but you should at least learn about them to see if you think one or more might be right for you. You have a wonderful and long life ahead, at least see what is available to make things better.

 

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@ShiRae now you know it does not go away. Sigh. Call urologist and find pads that work for you. Take care.

 

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You are not alone. 45 man and trying to get things out in time are a frustration. I wear a full diaper 24/7 at this point as I have had the same, I can make it all the way to the room, only to fail. There are many times I rush to the toilet with hopes of using it, but find myself just short. No idea how many times it braced myself on the toilet or sink as my bladder did what it wanted against my willing. Again I am not sure how many times I also wiped tears from my eyes of shame to clean up and leave the room. I do have to appreciate the diaper over wet pants, but the shame remains. It gets better but I still look at myself in the mirror as I grow wetter wondering why. You are not alone.