Another Piece of Continence Poetry

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Talking about my hospitalizations a couple years ago is getting to my headspace. When it comes to PTSD and memories of the past; i suppose i have to find a creative outlet to express myself. I found a while back, a poetry piece brought good positive attention. So i suppose thats what i will try again tonight.

Over my head

Held over my head
You made me feel so small
Held over my head
One day ill grow so tall

I can still feel the shame
Myself thats who to blame
My caretaker who felt so bitter
She was an old school babysitter

Held over my head
In the basement still so cold
The smell of sawdust while i was scold
Held over my head
Shiny white and sheer
The memory of the block punishment
So clear

Held over my head
The memories, triggers and the dreams
Alone in my apartment
My life falling apart at the seams.

Held over my head
Stop acting like a baby
Grow up
You want to wear diapers?

My childhood humiliation
Wrapped around my health situation
During a time of suicide idealation
My brain finally left the station.

Held over my head
I said no more
I reminded myself
That the body keeps the score

Held over my head
I grabbed the package and tried
Because of the NAFC
I survived

Held over my head
No longer is a term that is for me
Because the packages in my life
Give me Dignity, Peace, feeling free.

Amen.

Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs

 

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That's good! But I wish it wasn't true. Praying for you.

 

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Honeeecombs. That a great original poem. Keep feeling it. I don't have anything like you in my past as a child but after my husband died I dealt with feelings of unworthiness and of course grief over losing him. I have kept three children's books in a drawer by my bed that help comfort me when I'm sad. They are all rhyming stories published in 1990 and 1997. "Sunshine, Moonshine" by Jennifer Armstrong with great illustrations by Lucia Washburn and "Half a Moon and One Whole Star" by Crescent Dragonwagon again with great illustrations by Jerry Pinkney. The other is a Little Golden Book of Poems published in 1983 also with great illustrations; one in particular "The Park" by James S. Tippet appeals to my athletic self and sense of wonder. (For some reason I can't get the italic to work.) Perhaps writing poems will be the one thing that will bring comfort to you.

 

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Honeeecombs. That a great original poem. Keep feeling it. I don't have anything like you in my past as a child but after my husband died I dealt with feelings of unworthiness and of course grief over losing him. I have kept three children's books in a drawer by my bed that help comfort me when I'm sad. They are all rhyming stories published in 1990 and 1997. "Sunshine, Moonshine" by Jennifer Armstrong with great illustrations by Lucia Washburn and "Half a Moon and One Whole Star" by Crescent Dragonwagon again with great illustrations by Jerry Pinkney. The other is a Little Golden Book of Poems published in 1983 also with great illustrations; one in particular "The Park" by James S. Tippet appeals to my athletic self and sense of wonder. (For some reason I can't get the italic to work.) Perhaps writing poems will be the one thing that will bring comfort to you.

Thank you @ritanofsinger;

Healing is a long difficult road. Goes to show our emotional triggers can come from some of the people who are closest to us. I'm safe to say; I'm in a situation where those people who are controlling and abusive are high up on the food chain and are in positions where they can yield there power to cover up these experiences.

I was emotionally triggered last week because I thought I saw my daytime caretaker who would humiliate myself - but then also; my step family member(s) I felt stalked by which I ended up filing a report on.

The good news is though; is that things seem to be doing alright. I've learned that I get triggered when I see the people, and not the things that they have. I try to use logic and reasoning in everything i do. For example, my step uncle has a pickup vehicle that is similar to another's who I saw today thinking it was them - but alas it was not. However on the day last week when I was triggered - I became triggered because of there involvement.

It goes to show it's the people that hurt us; and not the things. I suppose those are words of encourage to those struggling with having to wear protection when those people were humiliated with the thing they need most.

It's hard to explain; but your right in the sense that I need to find some way to find comfort and peace to get my mind off these awful memories. I find dabbling in video games has helped allowing myself to unleash my creative side.

The only way to go I suppose is up. To rise above these people and put value in my own self worth. I have to Love Me.

Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs

 

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So I was raised on Dust Bowl tunes, you see
Had a six-tube radio an' no TV
It was so dog-goned hot I had to wet the bed in the summer just to keep cool
Yeah, many's a night I'd lay awake
A-waitin' for a distant station break
Just a-settin' and a-wettin' an' a-lettin' that radio fry

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