43 year old bed wetter
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Archives1
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I don't date. Mortified if i were to have"sleep over" and have accident. I have washable reusable quilted looking deal for bed.
Have new med i suggested to dr. Found reference to it in neurology mag. Was published result of study. Damn it don't have name right here. I'm in car. Will go upstairs and update.
Admire woman who landed fiance. How do you get out there with bladder urgency and wearing undergarment protection like poise pads? More power to ya! I'm pretty but too afraid of worst case scenario. Recently have had accidents in car. None at work yet but things aren't good. No bed wet since new med. No car wetting since chilled on energy drinks.
What are ways you cope? Are u married or do u date?
Have new med i suggested to dr. Found reference to it in neurology mag. Was published result of study. Damn it don't have name right here. I'm in car. Will go upstairs and update.
Admire woman who landed fiance. How do you get out there with bladder urgency and wearing undergarment protection like poise pads? More power to ya! I'm pretty but too afraid of worst case scenario. Recently have had accidents in car. None at work yet but things aren't good. No bed wet since new med. No car wetting since chilled on energy drinks.
What are ways you cope? Are u married or do u date?
Archives1
Staff member
For me, the medications were all side effect, no cure. The Botox injections worked as advertised, but wore off after successively shorter periods of time. When the last Botox injections began to wear off after six weeks, my urologist said that a sphincterotomy was my last, best hope. I understood that this surgery would make me totally incontinent, but it worked, so I'm not complaining. However, my bladder spasms are getting more frequent and disturbing my sleep more, so I think there's at least an outside possibility that it may need to be renewed, perhaps next summer.
Archives1
Staff member
Im 26 female.im absolutely embarrassed and ashamed of this tho i know its not my fault keeping this secret sucks holding a relationship is difficult and realy dont want to have any relationship cause im scared my big secret will come out and ill be shamed and laughed at i havent saught any treatment i dont even know where to start and i can see my 5 ye old is going to be the same way
At my wits end.
At my wits end.
Archives1
Staff member
Jazzy, it could always be worse. I'm incontinent and I have to wear protection. Everyone has their own problems. If you meet someone and get to know them, the whole incontinence thing will probably mean less to them than you thought it would. I was able to participate in a study a few months back, and I was amazed how everyone has the same concerns. Hearing people talk about it as apposed to an internet forum was actually very reassuring.
Archives1
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@NoCans
As a male in his 50's with bladder incontinence from several causes relating to my lower spine anomalies -- here's my take:
I've also participated, face-to-face, with others in an incontinence support group. Male and female, all ages, some with disabilities that are obvious, some not. Some were incontinent and otherwise active / mobile. Some with enuresis.
Yes, indeed! When you hear others with the SAME concerns and feelings...in relationships, at work, at school, etc. Those dating and spousal experiences can be both absolutely humorous along with quite informative. It gives a human touch to it and make any participant feel they are NOT alone.
The group met for several years fairly early on in my 'new normal' in dealing with bladder incontinence. Since, a few of us are in contact to this day.
@bean
Well, Bean...as a male, I've been there. In several relationships and married once. Maybe I have a unique perspective on this, but BOTH myself and my female partner were incontinent...so I guess that made it easier to relate and it did provide a definite bond, even during intimate moments when dating, taking road trips, camping, etc. I guess it just means being upfront about it and telling a partner what you are going thru. Some wilt away, others will stay with you...just as if you were NOT incontinent.
Organizations such as this are great for information. Perhaps, in your case BEAN, an MS support group might offer some insights and support for you, or finding single people to meet with. Lots of ways...lots to learn...but don't give up on it.
Hopes this helps some, even if I rambled on way too much !!!
Andy
As a male in his 50's with bladder incontinence from several causes relating to my lower spine anomalies -- here's my take:
I've also participated, face-to-face, with others in an incontinence support group. Male and female, all ages, some with disabilities that are obvious, some not. Some were incontinent and otherwise active / mobile. Some with enuresis.
Yes, indeed! When you hear others with the SAME concerns and feelings...in relationships, at work, at school, etc. Those dating and spousal experiences can be both absolutely humorous along with quite informative. It gives a human touch to it and make any participant feel they are NOT alone.
The group met for several years fairly early on in my 'new normal' in dealing with bladder incontinence. Since, a few of us are in contact to this day.
@bean
bean said:
Well, Bean...as a male, I've been there. In several relationships and married once. Maybe I have a unique perspective on this, but BOTH myself and my female partner were incontinent...so I guess that made it easier to relate and it did provide a definite bond, even during intimate moments when dating, taking road trips, camping, etc. I guess it just means being upfront about it and telling a partner what you are going thru. Some wilt away, others will stay with you...just as if you were NOT incontinent.
Organizations such as this are great for information. Perhaps, in your case BEAN, an MS support group might offer some insights and support for you, or finding single people to meet with. Lots of ways...lots to learn...but don't give up on it.
Hopes this helps some, even if I rambled on way too much !!!
Andy
Archives1
Staff member
I think that much of the stigma is internal to ourselves. We thrust it upon ourselves, then wonder why we feel so bad. Others, the folks we encounter, by-standers, casual acquaintances, neighbors, all have problems that occupy them, some worse than incontinence, some not so threatening. But they are all as self-absorbed as we are. We just need to be proud or ourselves, proud that we have the skill to deal effectively with our disability. I have been at meetings when I felt my diaper becoming wet. Nobody else there knew, or needed to know. I washed and changed when I had the opportunity. Diapers enabled me to attend that meeting, and to do all the other things that daily life requires. Diapers are in the same category as hearing aids, glasses, crutches, canes, and braces. I am glad that I have them, and proud that I manage my incontinence with minimum disruption to the lives around me.
Archives1
Staff member
This is all good to hear. I lost my wife a few years back. Many years together, and she teased me all the time, but always in loving jest. I am also mortified about dating. But after several years, I signed up on an online dating site.
I actually met someone to my surprise, and now been on several dates with her. Now, I'm mortified and really struggling with they way or the right time to say something. Obviously, I can't wait until the last minute, and the time is getting near.
I have realized (recently), that wearing a diaper doesn't come across as bad as I have built it up to be in my own mind. But, I'm still freaking out, and going back and forth about breaking it off. I know you are correct 'Patrick', about categories of canes, braces, and diapers. It is an internal struggle that I own and have to deal with. This forum does help!
I actually met someone to my surprise, and now been on several dates with her. Now, I'm mortified and really struggling with they way or the right time to say something. Obviously, I can't wait until the last minute, and the time is getting near.
I have realized (recently), that wearing a diaper doesn't come across as bad as I have built it up to be in my own mind. But, I'm still freaking out, and going back and forth about breaking it off. I know you are correct 'Patrick', about categories of canes, braces, and diapers. It is an internal struggle that I own and have to deal with. This forum does help!
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