Young, incontinent and single

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How do you handle being single and incontinent? Is this a big road block in your dating? I think about it a lot, and worry about it being a road block. Like most women I imagine would be stressed having a partner who wears diapers and doesn’t use the toilet often.

 

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If you meet some one who don't like it move on. Best to be upfront before getting deep in a relationship.

 

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I always worry about this too I don't have time for dating right now but I am worried that my bladder issues will be a problem when I do start dating

 

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Good call BigAlofPA. The problem is most people seem to act ok with it until further down the road. It creates like an erosion of attraction in my experience. It seems like the stress on the other person adds up.

 

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Welcome to the club. First: be honest and open and tell them right from the start. If you can’t trust them to tell them in the beginning, why would you want to be with them later?
Second: you have to realize that people with a broken leg need a crutch to walk, just as we need protection to be out and about. So be comfortable, confident, and trust yourself.
Third: if they are truest interested and not won’t judge you for things you can’t help, then give the same back to them.

 

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I am married and been married for 19 years. This (fecal) incontinence issue came up 4 years ago after radiation. The other advantage I have is that my husband is medical also.

Nevertheless it has caused large issues when it comes to spontanietiy.
He is OK with it, but I have a lot of issues, but Itry to make things work as reasonably as possible.

As far as dating...I wouldn't talk with someone about these issues unless there was a real relationship budding. Generally people don't understand real "challenges: unless they have a family member or they have the issue themselves. Of course I believe in educating people so that they might have a clue for general people in their world.

 

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I am in this situation now- with someone whom I THINK knows that I am incontinent. If I'm right about that, it's still a matter of time because a positive mindset can change when the full scope of the problem is seen in real time.

 

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Get to know the person, then be honest and open. I don't think 1st dates are the palce, maybe not even second or third unless these go real well. I find communicating why/how you are dealing with inco and what you go through daily can be enlightening to others and creates good communication. (I have found many have a hard time understanding why someone young can't just go to the Dr and get it fixed)

I have dated quite a bit and have had few issues (like one out of 25). Most deeply respect how I deal with it and actually find that attractive. (imagine that!) stay positive and give people the benefit of the doubt ;-)

And LOTS of others have issues too, someone I dated for awhile was a huge fitness buff and in great shape, she wet the bed and had to wear pads every day. Never would have know looking at her.

 

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It's been pretty hard, I feel like it's the biggest road block for me. I believe that being open an honest at first is the best but bringing up that conversation itself is like the hardest step. And I feel like this could really affect being intimate with each other especially when you have bowel and bladder incontinence.

 

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I really feel for you guys who are incontinent, wearing diapers and single. I can’t imagine dating in diapers. I was “lucky” enough to be married before my need for diapers.

 

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Ben

Of course I appreciate the dating challenges of incontinence. How to explain this. You have to somehow radiate your positive attitude. Show the world you are awesome despite physical limitations. Consider Stephen Hawking, married twice and children too! And he probably did not view incontinence as his biggest issue.