I actually have urge incontinence and retention. They treated me for years for urge incontinence without success. When they finally did a full urological evaluation my problem is I went years delaying trips to the bathroom because of work conditions. Sometimes I would go 12-16 hours without a trip. Toward the end of those long hours I would feel a lot of pressure but no sudden urges or urine losses. I managed (without realizing it)to "stretch" out my bladder. So when my incontinence did start, I was pretty confused but the conclusion of the work up is that I retain my urine without sensation until my bladder fills. During testing the sensation doesn't start until I have 1200 mls in my bladder. The sensation is an over powering urge I can't control and lose an entire liter of urine in my pants which explains why I only void 2-3 times a day weather voluntarily or not. But if you are suffering from incontinence, you won't "develop" a retention problem unless it already exists. The only thing you are doing by trying to "hold" even when you are leaking is delaying the inevitable and suffering with a bunch of frustration. You don't mention what the cause of your incontinence is, but if it is urge incontinence, if frequent "toileting" doesn't help, you are probably going to wet your pants and not be able to do a thing about it. Because of my huge volume voids, I have to pad up with multiple booster pads and a huge plastic diaper otherwise they leak terribly. I do have the Interstim device now which has helped a bit, and frequent trips to the bathroom don't work for me because if there is no sensation, I can't release. I have started cathing if I need to guarantee staying dry for a long period of time and that works. But if I don't cath, I just have to put up with the flooded jeans and briefs. I know this is awfully frustrating but I am only 50 years old and all I can do is try to accept it. I hope something in this long story helps.