Archives1
Staff member
Hey guys,
Ive been on this board for quite some time now. I struggled with Loss of Bladder Control and it took me for a big loop over these past couple of years.
Ive talked to some amazing people on here. Bill, Barbara, Jeff, and some others to name a few.
When memories from your childhood come up. You dont know what quite to do with them. I spent 3 months in an inpatient rehabilitation facility in Pennsylvania to start the journey that ive finally crossed the finish line.
I remember some of the first nights i wet the bed. In 2019. It sucked. Hard. I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I still have that issue. I remember that summer, i spent a day at a wedding party - got home at 5pm and did not wake up until 10am the following morning. It was some of the first few memories of the beginning of a nightmare.
I remember working at a great job prior to COVID-19. I spent 8 weeks in training, not being mandated to sit at a desk. I could get up and use the bathroom when i wanted. I would go so many times a day. But I denied it.
I didnt want to live with the truth until it progressively got worse. I remember getting really sick, and post that got a kidney stone and was taken out of work.
I was the hospital multiple times for my kidneys and bladder, and it just kept getting worse in the first few months just shy of the pandemic.
I hated myself so much. I remember sitting at my desk, bladder spasms so bad that i would just constantly leak. That was right before rehab.
After rehab. Was the journey. The journey of self denial, and self acceptance. I didnt want to accepted myself. Nor my childhood memories.
Who wants to wear a diaper, when you were humiliated with them growing up? I couldnt do it. I slept on mattress pads, a sleeping bag, and was doing my laundry all the time.
But i came here. And you guys helped me.
Bill and Jeff, your kind words like ive said before have meant alot to myself. You gave me words of encouragement while also giving me my dignity.
Bladder spasms suck. I had a bad day today again, so i suppose thats why im reaching out. My bladder spasms are worsened today, yesterday wasnt so bad. Its a crapshoot. Tomorrow? Who knows, but today i leaked all day.
And you know what, i still have a hard time accepting protection. I played video games today to get my mind off of it. But rest assured, ill go to bed tonight and wake up ready to take a new day again by storm.
I hate overactive bladder.
I hate the pain of the spasms.
I can't stand the emotional impact.
But there alot of things that also contributed as to why ive stuck around so long here. Its been a very long mental journey.
If you are suffering from bladder incontinence, spasms, pain, and all the embarrassment to go along with it - your not alone.
Regardless of age, bladder or bowel issues suck. And i pray one day that God will take the pain away.
But i just want to reach and say thank you. Because now i can look at myself in the mirror and not look at myself differently.
I can say, im Trevor. And im just like anybody else.
Equal, not less.
Ive been on this board for quite some time now. I struggled with Loss of Bladder Control and it took me for a big loop over these past couple of years.
Ive talked to some amazing people on here. Bill, Barbara, Jeff, and some others to name a few.
When memories from your childhood come up. You dont know what quite to do with them. I spent 3 months in an inpatient rehabilitation facility in Pennsylvania to start the journey that ive finally crossed the finish line.
I remember some of the first nights i wet the bed. In 2019. It sucked. Hard. I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I still have that issue. I remember that summer, i spent a day at a wedding party - got home at 5pm and did not wake up until 10am the following morning. It was some of the first few memories of the beginning of a nightmare.
I remember working at a great job prior to COVID-19. I spent 8 weeks in training, not being mandated to sit at a desk. I could get up and use the bathroom when i wanted. I would go so many times a day. But I denied it.
I didnt want to live with the truth until it progressively got worse. I remember getting really sick, and post that got a kidney stone and was taken out of work.
I was the hospital multiple times for my kidneys and bladder, and it just kept getting worse in the first few months just shy of the pandemic.
I hated myself so much. I remember sitting at my desk, bladder spasms so bad that i would just constantly leak. That was right before rehab.
After rehab. Was the journey. The journey of self denial, and self acceptance. I didnt want to accepted myself. Nor my childhood memories.
Who wants to wear a diaper, when you were humiliated with them growing up? I couldnt do it. I slept on mattress pads, a sleeping bag, and was doing my laundry all the time.
But i came here. And you guys helped me.
Bill and Jeff, your kind words like ive said before have meant alot to myself. You gave me words of encouragement while also giving me my dignity.
Bladder spasms suck. I had a bad day today again, so i suppose thats why im reaching out. My bladder spasms are worsened today, yesterday wasnt so bad. Its a crapshoot. Tomorrow? Who knows, but today i leaked all day.
And you know what, i still have a hard time accepting protection. I played video games today to get my mind off of it. But rest assured, ill go to bed tonight and wake up ready to take a new day again by storm.
I hate overactive bladder.
I hate the pain of the spasms.
I can't stand the emotional impact.
But there alot of things that also contributed as to why ive stuck around so long here. Its been a very long mental journey.
If you are suffering from bladder incontinence, spasms, pain, and all the embarrassment to go along with it - your not alone.
Regardless of age, bladder or bowel issues suck. And i pray one day that God will take the pain away.
But i just want to reach and say thank you. Because now i can look at myself in the mirror and not look at myself differently.
I can say, im Trevor. And im just like anybody else.
Equal, not less.
