So over it.

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I, try. Like really try to get to bed at an okay time 11:30-12am but every time I ended up getting up to have a BM. Then I am running to the bathroom multiple times for the next few hours. So I gave up and decided to just stay up because I never get to sleep much anyway. Well now I am ending up awake until the sun comes up and then feeling like junk all afternoon. Most days I ended up napping right after I shower or bath so really I am only awake for 6-8 hours a day.
And doctors can't explain what is going on.

So over this.

 

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It sounds as if you have developed delayed sleep phase syndrome because your other problems have disrupted your normal circadian rhythms. This is a real sleep disorder, although lots of people don’t believe it’s real. A sleep disorders specialist might be able to help you restore your normal sleep-wake cycle. (By the way, I am writing this at 4:58 am.)

 

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Lying wide awake in America at 3:08 a.m. Been in bed since 11:00 p.m. Tonight I’ve tried doing word puzzles, travel reading, putting on boring TV shows at low volume while wearing an eye mask, and doing nothing. Thanks to menopause I’m sweating like crazy even though the thermostat says it’s only 67’F. My brain just won’t shut up. After four hours of torture (and eight bathroom trips to pee), here I am, trying the Internet in very low brightness. I have to get up in three hours! I doubt I’ll get any sleep. I have so many important things to accomplish tomorrow but I already know I’ll be a zombie.

@Diana I verrrrrry much experience delayed sleep syndrome (if I’m not disciplined), chronic insomnia long before I had nocturia, and Sleep Anxiety. I’ve slept like crap since I was four and have come to loathe trying to sleep wayyyyy more than any other daily task. A third of my life is wasted just trying to sleep. I’ve read a bunch of books about sleep and done CBT for it; didn’t help. I follow all the sleep rules but still can’t sleep. Melatonin and Benadryl are nonstarters for me. The only thing that helps is Ambien, and good luck trying to get that these days of restrictive prescribing. I only get five per month, used to get 60 for over 15 years. Have tried five providers since my original guy retired. Doctors always worry about covering their ass because some people have such weird reactions to Ambien, but I’ve taken it basically since it was put on the market about 20 years ago, and it works for me and I never need more. Doctors also worry about it causing dementia, but not sleeping also causes dementia!!!!

Insomnia is sooooooo frustrating and unbelievably BORING, and LONELY. Feels so unhealthy. Feels like I’m doing something wrong, every night.

I do at least now recognize that my body needs the physical rest, even if my brain just refuses to shut up. So here I lay, resting, but unable to sleep. Sleep is totally weird, anyway - what a waste of time in life.

 

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Sorry for you all. I love sleep its an alternative reality healing space.
If I cant sleep I just rest and let my thoughts run free dont try to control them let them flow out similarly to having an open bladder night.

 

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I bought inexpensive ear buds. Use a variety of Hoopla (library - free), Overdrive (also library - free), Audible (Amazon - not free) to download books. I set the iphone alarm to 90 minutes to stop book playing. I use this on nights I am up with my husband's urine and pain needs and I can't get back to sleep. Or I use this on the nights my head runs wild and I need a distraction. Double edge sword: occasionally new book too interesting and I override timer and listen on; not good. Better is listening to a repeat of book, especially if it was complicated and your mind tunes it out and sleep happens. I tried listening to sounds (raindrops, thunder, etc) with no success; music, the same. I have listened (often takes only a few minutes to fall asleep) to the same book again and again as I like the narrator's voice. I have listened to a book and lost a few chapters to sleep, waken long enough to remove earbuds and fall fast asleep. And to be honest there are those rare (thankfully) nights when no amount of listening will produce sleep. So I get up and head for the computer and play card games on cardgames.io and feel lousy the whole next day.

 

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@visible Exactly, sometimes a book or T.V. show are too interesting! David Attenborough’s voice soothes me, and his programs are some of my faves, but fortunately the soothing part overrides the interesting part - sometimes.

When I listen to sounds like waves or thunder, my hyperdrive brain quickly picks up the repeat pattern and I get annoyed.

I feel like absolute crap today, didn’t sleep for one minute last night. But I’m going on vacation in 40 hours so I’m on a tight deadline and feel very overwhelmed. I know I’ll be too anxious to sleep tonight, too. I would have finished today’s mass amount of tasks last week, but my car was in three shops and the repairs took 10 days of my time. So stressful. I had to wait at the repair shops all day because I don’t know anyone here who could/would have been able to take me back home, and I needed my car in the evenings.

I’ve made so many mistakes already today due to fatigue. Drank a huge Starbuck’s coffee with four espresso shots; didn’t wake me up at all. Wish I could nap but I haven’t been able to nap since I was two years old. Pain is way ramped up after not sleeping. But damnit, I have soooooooo much to do!