Severe Depression Diaper

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Hello everyone I have a weird urinary incontinence issue where I leak the smallest drops of urine every one to five minutes. I’ve worn different types of boxer briefs, even those with urinary incontinence pads and they don’t seem to work. I was surprised as the drops were so small I never really noticed my underwear or pants getting wet.

Anyway So now I am in a diaper and it’s working. However as a 51-year-old male who is still single I find this very depressing. I find myself thinking about seven months ago when I had none of these problems.

Anyway, if anybody has any words of wisdom on how they cope with the depression, and coming to terms with wearing a diaper, I would love to hear from you.

PS I was diagnosed with urinary retention and I was told my bladder has been weakened by it

 

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I really believe that as you get older, you will find that bladder issues are a lot more common than we think. Over time it will become second nature, but yeah, it does take time.

 

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Hi Mike, yes, not that easy as one thinks everything is going off the rails, but as my urology PA told me and my PCP, we are here for you, my PCP told me I'm with you on this journey, when she said that to me, I thought I'm not alone, (and she knows me inside and out!) but she was the one that got me hooked up with my urology PA and appointments with her a minimum of seeing her every 6 months. Plus she started me seeing a mental health nurse in the hospital. That has given me much comfort to continue on this lifelong journey.
Boom

 

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I am a65 year old male. I’ve been wearing diapers a very long time. It takes time to get your mind wrapped around wearing them. In time, you may not feel secure not wearing a diaper. I lost feeling in my bladder and can’t tell I have to pee. I had 5 major back surgeries. They last one left me completely incontinent. I now wear diapers 24/7. You will find what helps you.

 

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I am 72 and a lifelong bedwetter. Started to use protection when I was in my 20s. Before that, diapers and plastic pants were difficult to find, so I woke up soaked head to toe. I now wear nightly protection.

 

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This will sound simple minded, but I try to focus on all the things I CAN do. I'm in my early 70's, and had both surgery and radiation for prostate cancer. I can still run, lift weights, ride my motorcycle, go camping/fishing, and a lot of other things much like I always did. I have a little leaking, but it’s manageable. It doesn’t really get in the way. My faith helps as well with any hardships, big or small. I wish you the best.

 

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@mustangmike1971 Have you met with a urologist yet? They will recommend doing kegels. You should get an appointment with a good physical therapist that specializes in pelvic floor issues. I had no benefits from just doing kegels until mine showed me how to do them right and correct any other structural or core strength problems. Good luck!

 

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Hi I have been in diapers starting around the age of 20 I can’t feel what I need to go. First I would find a doctor and maybe a physical workout that would help. I found a amazing physical therapist that has helped me. It was a long time for me to adjust to having to wear diapers but now it’s really no big deal. I would rather be in a diaper than wet pants

 

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Yes those small drops certainly add up to make wet clothing sooner than one might imagine.
About 2 years ago I found my pants and trousers becoming damper especially while working at my office desk. The doctor told me about the urinery retention and described to be about holding the scrotum up after urinating to get the last few drops out but I found it only worked to a point .
The pads in pants were not enough and I didn’t like disposable products . So I bought washable terry cloth briefs. I was a childhood wetter till I was 6 in nappies.
You’ve made the right decision because persistently putting up with wet pants and trousers can cause skin infections over time.
As for your depression regarding being single. I don’t know if this helps as it’s a rather obtuse thing to ask yourself.. are you depressed about still being single because so many other people have partners and think you should do because that is what society tells us that is how we are supposed to live?
Remember lots of people pair up for the wrong reasons and end up unhappy. Genuine love doesn’t come by going out into the world trying to grab it.

 

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Hello Mike in time. You will learn others could care less what you wear. Don't be afraid to meet gals and date. As well as having a socal life beyond dating. If you don't make a big deal about wearing diapers. Others wont either.

 

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I can understand your feelings of depression. I had RP a year and 4 months ago and am still not fully continent. At one year I became very disheartened because I was not in the 80% group that fully recover. I decided to have six sessions of talking therapy which really helped. I now keep a gratitude journal, just being thankful for all the good things I could do. I found a book called Mind over Mood helpful and am currently reading a book called Build Your Resilience. Remember too that many people have to manage long term conditions. My son in law has Crohn's Disease, my best friend has Myasthenia Gravis and is on steroids and other meds. Another good mate has several prolapsed discs in his back and needs hip replacements - he's just 64. I have to remind myself that that everyone will have to manage something at some point in their lives.

 

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Hbrownlow: this is a hard truth. Yes so many people are dealing with conditions, illnesses that we can't imagine how they manage. Speaking for any and all who need a little pat on the shoulder- I do have to mention that what is going on with a person may be a crisis to them. My issue may be what may be considered as minute' compared to a person undergoing aggressive treatments, but my(meaning a person's) issue until they can manage is big to them. I read about others on this forum and realize I have really limited issues to address then when it happens- not being able to hold my urine or leaking feces this becomes a mountain to me. But still we have to deal with our inner demons and this is not always a private matter if there is an accident or a slight odor until we can clean up. So just said all that to say that is why this forum is so important. I hear others dealing with the same issues and evenmore. It is therapy for me and don't need a copay. . Well just talking so glad you all let me tune in it is so helpful. Good evening

 

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@Newdaynow yes, your words are straight forward and fact. Exactly what I explained to my PCP and mental health PA, hopefully it helps them to look straight forward at this.

 

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Newdaynow. No should minimise anyone's experience and the impact it may have on quality of life. I too went for counselling and continue to have good days and bad days emotionally. I recently attended the launch of a new book by a guy called Patrick Regan. It's called " Brighter Days" and I think is available on Amazon. I found that really helpful

 

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Good day Mike,
Sorry for the delay in responding.

It is just another part of a daily journey through life.
Happy days, active days and some days with angst and feeling low.

I got over feeling awkward having to wear a brief for my IC.
I started leaking when I was age 18, 19, 20’s. That was awkward, especially trying to hide a pad in my pants. Then heavier leaking and wettings by age 40. This included having to pee more frequently
with more urge ic and occasional nighttime wetting. By my 50’s I just went to a daily wearing of a diaper for protection and piece of mind. It allowed me to do me without interruptions. Now in my 60’s and not hiding the fact that I need to wear protection or who knows I wear a diaper.
At times I even have the advantage over others with the convenience of wearing a diaper, while others are uncomfortably holding it in waiting, or scrambling to find a restroom.

You asked for suggestions, so I’d say, diaper up and get out there and do you.

For keeping a healthy mind, spend time with friends, family and coworkers. We do occasional game nights.
Perhaps the big one that I find helpful is, enjoy time working on small projects with shorter completion times. It makes life less daunting.
Also, devote time to your hobbies. They usually can be shared with others like a club where other members are involved in the same activities.
I also enjoy nature walks and bicycle rides. These are
good for giving the mind time to rest and enjoy other things in life.

Just knowing that fact that you have some IC condition and being able to treat and wear the necessary protection, including diapers already gives you the upper hand in life to do your day to day everything.
Smile,
Joe

 

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Oh my I feel bad for any adult guys or girls that have to adjust to the idea of being in diapers, suddenly, moving forward. I will admit it was discouraging never being out of bedwetting diapers from birth to early 20’s. Leaked regularly during the day also and that was even harder to deal with. Once my neurogenic bladder was diagnosed I had a solid understanding of why it was the way things are. When it comes to protection I have always been using protection products so I never had to go through the transition to diapers as an adult. Just try to accept your body has a medical condition that can and should be handled the best way possible. I can almost guarantee that in the long run you will feel better about yourself and less depressed about it. Try and be thankful for your overall good health and recognize how many others, your age, have to live with debilitating health issues. Not to minimize but incontinence is a fairly easy condition to deal with.