Rough night

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A friend had a birthday and her partner threw a huge party for her at a hotel banquet room. The hotel bathrooms were not handicap accessible. The “handicapped” stall wasn’t big enough to fit a wheelchair. We got there really early to help set up and I had to change. My friend (female) helped me get to the restroom and I had to park my wheelchair outside the stall and crawl in and change. Luckily no one was there. But I got myself into my chair and was trying to put my spare diapers back in my bag and the bag came completely unzipped and I couldn’t reach the zipper. I yelled “damnit!” (I was having a rough day) and my friend peeked her head into the bathroom and said “you alright?” And I replied “no I can’t my damn bag zipped up” and she just laughed and came into the mens room and helped me out. I also realized km not a party person. Music was too loud. Too many people. And I totally spilled my fruit punch all over myself. And while waiting for the disability van to go meet my friends I got caught in the rain. Just not my day.

 

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ef - Some days you wonder why you even got up huh? That hotel is probably in violation of the disabilities act. I'm so sorry you had to crawl back in. I still admire you for going out and doing things though. Your friend is a true friend. Don't lose her.

 

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@ritanofsinger thanks she truly is. And yea basically I should have probably turned around at the sight of the first sprinkle and gone inside. Another friend of mine is staying the night. He helped me in with my chair. We are ordering some food and he will go to work and my other friend is coming around noon to hang out and play with my new air fryer. Hopefully tomorrow will go better.

 

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Hopefully is right. We live on that idea!

 

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@justej

I hate. HATE when a handicapped restroom is not handicapped (one I don't use hate unless I mean it, too, I don't need a handicapped room unless I am really bad but sometimes need the bars to help get back upright.)

I agree with @ritanofsinger

A hotel should be handicapped accessible. Also, there are laws regarding if they list the bathroom is accessible and it is not. My hospital has a bathroom hidden on the floor my Gastroenteroligest is on that are not listed as handicapped accessible (heck they are not even listed there at all they are right outside the resident rooms (Rooms where doctors stay overnight))

I think that a lot of places are very ADA friendly but others just do not seem to truly care. I really think that unless the person designing the bathroom understands the needs of people in wheelchairs then they just do the minimum required by law.

Not to get political here but one thing that changed me was what is going on with me now and seeing the need.

If I had it my way every business the supports over 150 guests per day would have to have something like changing spaces restrooms.

"Side note". I follow Role with Cole and Charisma youtube. They were staying at a hotel and requested a roll-in shower "Cole is a quad" and the hotel gave the room with that shower to someone that did not need it.

Of course, the hotel denied it at first but then the president of the hotel chain made it right and pushed new training to all employees.

@justej

I would call the Hotel's service line and file a formal complaint about the restroom. That is sadly the only way we get changes made.

 

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@ThatFLGuy right after my amputation (I think it was literally less than 2 months) my friend that I mentioned above that helped me in the bathroom was the chair of the national animal rights conference here in dc. I had been to the conference for several years previous and I was hell bent on going. Since I was besties with the conference chair she arranged for me to get a scholarship. My room, food, etc was all paid for. I had to make the reservation and it was hell trying to get an accessible room. The accessible rooms were at the end of the hotel and it was nearly impossible for me to get in the room in my wheelchair by myself. There was a strip of wood or stone or something big enough that I had to have my friend who was staying with me push me into the room. I had so much fun but it really was an eye opener and now it just doesn’t surprise me when stuff isn’t accessible. I’ve been physically disabled since 2015. I’ve seen a lot over the years.

 

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@justej

I used one of the changing spaces bathrooms at the ER/ED that I go to. I did not know that it was a changing space at the time but, dang would that come in handy for someone that could use it. It had more than one toilet in the bathroom including a transfer toilet (The seat moves and can slid under you in a wheelchair) then the lift moves you in place. It was crazy the amount of stuff in that one bathroom. That hospital has a few in the building. I know that there are two in the kids/MRI/Nuclear med wing.

I have also been to a few rest areas that have bigger bathrooms but not a changing space.

Again, I think big places should have a changing space setup. And accessible needs to really be accessible.

 

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@ThatFLGuy I really wish more places had those. I literally changed on my knees inside the stall while my wheelchair was outside. It SUCKED. luckily my MegaMax held up until I got home because there was no way I was going to do that again. It’s one thing to change at home on my knees and it’s another to do it in a public bathroom.

 

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ej and FLGuy -
When I was going out more and using pubic restrooms, I wouldn't even set my purse on the floor in a stall and to think that you had to be on your knees changing, is gross to think about. When Bill and I used to go out to eat I always checked the condition of the women's restrooms. Even to the signs like:
Gentlemen/Women instead of Gentlemen/Ladies, Men/Girls instead of Men/Women - etc. I would write to the restaurant and tell them about their labeling! One fast food place had a small restroom for females and the door wouldn't close all the way. I complained about that and the employee said "yeah." I didn't go back, ever.

But in all honesty I have to say that a lot of times, unless we have had some unhappy experience with---- whatever, we don't think of consequences.

Many years ago Bill and I were contemplating building a two-story hotel to replace our motel. We hired an architect to draw up plans and I was appalled at his lack of knowledge about, not only what was required by law, but just ordinary things, like: how were the maids supposed to get their cart upstairs? Where was a supply room for the upstairs? Nevermind how a disabled person was going to get upstairs if necessary.

 

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Older facilities - like the 16-story Sheraton I was at recently - seem to be grandfathered, or something.
My biggest hospital/clinic varies depending on age of the wing. I've commented. Gotten a "Yeah, they claim they can't fix it in this wing." They keep things cleaner, but you don't want to see the ER when they are swamped (sorry about the pun).
Who designs them? Seriously, some of them are completely impractical. Not enough handrails, or badly placed. No bench. Just a lot of square footage isn't a criteria, far as I'm concerned, and I'm learning that more & more, here.
I'm not sure how I got assigned an "accessible" room, this time, but I swapped it for a "regular". Right now, I don't need the accessibility. Mostly, just my cane & extra time.
I've run into that business of a hotel renting out a handicapped room to those not handicapped. A couple admitted it, when I got assigned a non-handicapped room when I needed one.
Hell, that recent one had (1) bathroom too small for non-handicapped & I didn't know it was possible, and (2) the bed was so high it was too tall for the spouse. Do they do that in a "accessible" room, too?
Those showers: even hospital ones can be impractical. A wheelchair person has to have total help - ran into that in a nursing home and even for a sleep-study (sleep APNEA).
They changed or created a law requiring more seats/stalls in women's rooms, but that's for the able-bodied. Doesn't mean older places fix anything.
Wonder what an accessible bathroom would look like if we designed it?

 

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"Wonder what an accessable bathroom would look like if we designed it?"

Such a great question @AlasSouth. My guess is it would look pretty ordinary - and work just fine.

You would think that an architect would draw satisfaction from knowing that what they design works well. But too often it feels like what matters is how something looks.

After all, if something works well only those who use it benefit; but if it looks great then everyone can reap the reward!

 

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@Phil6003

Funny because my dad is actually a master builder here in the U.S. but only works for himself/Family business now. So, growing up I learned a lot about working with tools and building stuff. I even help build our Florida house. I look at a bathroom like the changing places on at my ER/ED and think of a thousand ways it could be better.

First, no-slip flooring. A lot of places use cheap crap when a lot of slips and falls happen in the bathroom.

Second, An open floor plan with curtains in sensitive areas. Space is what someone needs when dealing with mobility issues.

Third, a track system for movement. People that have independence still could benefit from a lift system to get from point A-B in the room.

Forth, trash bins. (Most of my dang it moments have been from not having a place to dispose of a used product.)

Fifth, A real roll-in shower area. You never know how much it is needed until you need it. (With all the things needed towels ect)

Sixth, A adult height adjustable changing table.

Seventh, on-site 24/7 nurses that help in that area.
Seven and 1/2, On-site 24/7 cleaner. (my hospital has this for the changing spaces you can push a button on the way to get help or say that it needs cleaning)

Eighth, good seating area for caregivers

Ninth, emergence door access for nurses

Tenth, online sign in (So if you are out and need it, they know you are coming)



Last, Might be a big wish but a separate small laundry area in the same location (Maybe accessed in the room but has a separate entrance and exit) Would come in big for that accident when traveling and don't want stinky clothing.

 

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FLGuy and AlasSouth - Here's your chance to build a "better mousetrap." A National Builders Association might indeed be interested in your ideas/plans! Who knows?

 

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@justej Sorry to hear you had such a rough night out. Don't even get me started on disabled toilets! It's true that so many won't accommodate wheelchairs properly and even then most don't have space to change. I'm with you on the music front.

I think the one thing I miss most from pre-Long Covid is not being able to go drinking with friends like I used to. Most bars/pubs in London don't have accessible toilets (and indeed wheelchair access to get into the premises) and I don't really drink anymore as I need all my wits about me when manoeuvring the wheelchair and alcohol goes right through me.

That being said, one of the bonuses about being at university again is that there's a bar which is accessible and relatively quiet so I get to do some socialising - even if a coursemate and I were joking about how we were like a couple of old men around all the undergrads!

On the upside I guess I'm saving a lot of money by not drinking!