@MattB Hello Sir! Welcome!
So sorry to hear about your stroke. I think it sounds like truly one of the hardest things to survive. It’s like you have to go through all of childhood again but in the course of 1-2 years of recovery, and sometimes recovery doesn’t happen. I really feel for you. I think that overall you will feel so, so, so much better if you do go outside and engage with the world. Accidents happen and they’re called accidents for a reason. I think you will find that people in general are more understanding than you think they would be. Most people have greater empathy than we might imagine, though some can certainly be jerks. Also, in the beginning of incontinence, it is very, very challenging to come around to accept it emotionally. But most of us here on the forum have done so. We can all tell you that it does get better with time. It just takes a long time
I’m sure your mother-in-law knows about your situation and doesn’t judge you for it. She’s older than you so she’s seen more than you and she knows what happens when someone has a stroke. I know it’s easy to feel embarrassed but in reality you don’t need to. If she’s over there helping and willing to do laundry then she definitely knows what’s going on and clearly it doesn’t bother her because she still over there helping, right?
There’s a great song that says, “The race is long, and in the end, it is only with yourself.“ So why not let yourself be free and happy? Please be as kind to yourself as you can be.
I say this as someone who sort of hides a lot and has plenty of embarrassment and shame an quit dating at age 39 after becoming incontinent. But at least we can *strive* to be more free and accepting of ourselves so that we can pursue the public happiness that we deserve.
