on the subject of stigma

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You said a lot right there, FlGuy! You are 1000 percent right in that incontinence is a disability. I have seen many times that people may have other disabilities, with incontinence being just one of the aspects that figure into someone's disability. But taken by itself incontinence, even without other disabling factors is still a disability.
I, too, have seen those signs in stores that won't allow backpacks to be brought in. It doesn't sound like the store policy was well thought out. Not everyone bringing in a backpack is going to steal something. So the store powers-to-be are assuming the worst in everybody. Then again, a woman's purse can still be big enough to allow someone to steal something. And it is a good idea to get a man "purse," although admittedly I haven't seen one. It sounds smaller than a backpack so it probably wouldn't raise anyone's suspicions.
But it is a sad sign that society views incontinence as a stigma especially since it's something that we have no control over. I know I've said it before and I'll say it again: incontinence can occur at any age and no one is immune from it. Yet it's still a stigma. And we all have to manage it all the same each in the way we best know how. I just go about my business although when I first had this problem I was still self-conscious, thanks to this stigma.

 

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I tell store workers that if you are gonna ban my backpack, you better make every woman leave her purse at the counter too. It's no different. And if you are worried about theft, follow me in person or watch the cameras.

 

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That's exactly it, @Steven1980. Someone can swipe things and put them in a purse just as easily as a backpack and I think some purses are as big as backpacks these days. Yet I've never heard of a woman being asked to leave her purse by the door, just because. If you have someone watch you or follow you will they lose interest once you go inside the restroom?

 

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The stigma needs to end and doctors and society needs to wake up to the fact that We deal with this.

It is sad we have a stigma for something we cannot control.

Yes, doctors will tell you that bedwetting is not normal which makes you feel like it's your fault. But for over 1/3 of the population, bladder and bowel dysfunction is "real life".

It's important to remember that you are not alone. Incontinence is very common, often treatable, and regardless, very manageable.

It's not your fault...won't get better on it's own...there is help...and you're not a failure if treatment doesn't work for you. Management products can help people live life to the fullest.

This website (NAFC) has tons of great resources for those looking to regain control. Start at https://www.nafc.org/tools-overview

For those that need a kind, caring person to help guide them through the confusing process of picking out absorbent products in a judgment-free environment, our team at NorthShore is available 7 days a week.

Sincerely,
Adam Greenberg, President/Owner of NorthShore
Board Certified Patient Advocate

 

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No joke. Northshore is great. I've talked to Adam and emailed him. Always happy to help in any way. You don't feel like you are calling a business. (No, I wasn't paid to write this lol)

 

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I have my well man's physical in a couple of days. I'm 73 years old, and a yearly physical is required for medicare. I will be wearing a diaper to my appointment, and will be anxious and nervous as always. My doctor knows of my incontinence, and the reasons for it. He has seen me in a diaper during previous examinations, so why can't I relax? I have thought about going to my appointment wearing regular boxer briefs, but too afraid of what might happen. And, now with COVID-19 I'm more and more depressed. Sorry, just needed to vent a little.

 

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Damp:
When I have to go to the doctors I like to wear either a Depends Real Fit or a Tena Mens pull-up. The Depends is a very dark solid color and the Tena is white with vertical stripes and a colored waistband. Both of these are designed to look like "regular" underwear. Under close inspection its obvious that they are "protective" underwear but the initial impression is otherwise. Before heading to the doctors office I will add a Male Guard pad to the pull-up to catch any leaks and then just before entering the office remove the pad and place it in a plastic bag for later disposal. This system allows the physical to proceed normally and doesn't leave you standing around in a large tape-up diaper. Finally be aware that neither of these products are high capacity, so if you have very large floods/voids they may not work for you. Hope this helps!

 

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I was trying to find the right words to respond! I get so angry that when I even see commercials about briefs it's all older ones. I guess it all comes down to the fact that incontinence isn't talked about a lot. Another thing is I feel that my incontinency has aged me and I no longer fit in with those who are in their 20s. I'm afraid of hanging out past midnight and a bunch of other things if it requires me changing to my nappies.

 

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Hi @Damp, I know that looking forward to a doctor's appointment isn't, well, shall we say something to look forward to? Even if he has seen you in a diaper before and you still feel uneasy? Well I see where you're coming from. There is just something about a doctor's office. It's the "white coat syndrome" and it's the number one thing that affects blood pressure readings. You see the doctor comes in in his white coat and then you blood pressure just automatically zooms skyward! At least mine did before I got some good medicine for it!
But what I'm getting at here is you have a similar feeling when you dr sees you in a diaper. I'm not saying your BP will go up but the doctor is all decked out in his "uniform" so to speak and there you are with, shall we say, next to nothing on. Does that make sense? If it were me I'd feel vulnerable.
I think @Padded53's suggestion to wear a Depend RealFit or a Tena men's pull-up makes a lot of sense. My own preference is the Depend, which is a solid color and it does not scream out "diaper." It just looks like men's underwear and isn't even cut or tailored like a diaper. It's true the Depend is not high capacity and if it were me going to the appointment I would get out of what I usually wear, change to the Depend, go immediately to the appointment and hopefully if the appointment isn't seriously delayed, I would change as soon as I get home again. I hope that helps!

 

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Hi @23andpee, I know what you mean about seeing commercials for incon products and there are nothing but older people, right? And they're riding bikes, tickling their grandchildren, playing bridge, out on the golf links and smiling a lot, right?? The companies that make the products want to portray the seniors as a very active bunch who don't let incontinence get in the way of their active lifestyle. That's why they say their products are the end-all and be-all greatest in the world! Does that sound familiar?
There was a time when incontinence wasn't talked about a lot, even among the older folks. My grandparents and even parents to some extent, were about as Victorian and puritanical as they come! "We simply don't talk about those things." It was just the way things were done way back then,
Now, things are much more out in the open and we see that with that advertising you're talking about. And I think the companies, like Depend are starting to show younger people. Some times in the Sunday paper ad supplements there are ads for Depend which show young women exercising or doing yoga. So I think there is some progress being made and more are aware that incontinence is a younger person's issue as well. It's like Adam said in the post above about one-third of the world population has some kind of incontinence issue. So you are not alone and besides that, you have us working alongside with you!
And as for you, I think if I were to see you somewhere, say in a group of people in their 20s, I would still think that you fit in. I wouldn't even have a clue that you wouldn't fit in. Unless you told me or someone about your issue, no one would ever know it. And as you go on in life, you'll discover it's all in how you perceive yourself. You seem to be very vital and alive and have a great perception of people and things. Best of all you still have a young adult's view of things and I think you'll keep that view for a long time to come. In the final analysis that's what really counts. I hope that all makes sense to you.