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Staff member
Sorry for being off topic. I just wrote this to a forum member who's son just came home from the war in the middle East. She said it's the end now. That's he's home and it's finally over. I wanted her and you to know this. Pass it on if you have the need or chance. Here is what I wrote:
Congratulations to you and him!!!!! But.... Sadly, it's not always the end. I assume maybe this just happened that he's home now. Yes it's the end of his physical war. But often times it's not over mentally. I'm sure you know this. But I hope I'm not over stepping here. Take this from a soldier that also came home and it was "the end". Talk . Talk. Talk. Listen. Listen a lot. Hold him. Like a baby. Really. If he's off a bit. Quiet, or talkative. Different or distant. Tears or tough guy. Especially if he lost a friend, unit member or battle buddy. Treat his grief like he lost a real actual sibling. Because he did. These brave heros we're FAMILY. Closer than he was to you or Dad in some ways. Closer than a wife or GF. He lived, they didn't. He didn't deserve to live. He should have died for them or with them.all day and in his dreams, he will think these things. And out in public. Every single person, including kids are the enemy until he sees them as a friendly. Every hand in a coat or pants pocket is grabbing or holding a weapon. He will watch people. He will stop and listen. He will avoid choke points and bottle neck areas. He will sit in a building facing the exit. He might just avoid the public altogether. Be patient during this transition time. It will improve but never go away. Watch for a change in him. Telling you he's sorry for little things in the past that shouldn't matter. If he starts to give his prized possessions away. Stay near him during this. It's often a sign of suicide thoughts. Boy is that a real thing. But I'm not trying to scare you! He has you. Mommy. You are his safe place. Alone with you is his most safest place mentally, physically and in his heart. He will be ok with your help. Involve him. Wounded warrior programs. Animal shelter help. (Right up your alley). I hope this helps. Sorry if it's too much too fast. But I went through it all. If you knew, great! If not, it's ok. Find a group of family like you with service members who came back. They have better and more advice.
Congratulations to you and him!!!!! But.... Sadly, it's not always the end. I assume maybe this just happened that he's home now. Yes it's the end of his physical war. But often times it's not over mentally. I'm sure you know this. But I hope I'm not over stepping here. Take this from a soldier that also came home and it was "the end". Talk . Talk. Talk. Listen. Listen a lot. Hold him. Like a baby. Really. If he's off a bit. Quiet, or talkative. Different or distant. Tears or tough guy. Especially if he lost a friend, unit member or battle buddy. Treat his grief like he lost a real actual sibling. Because he did. These brave heros we're FAMILY. Closer than he was to you or Dad in some ways. Closer than a wife or GF. He lived, they didn't. He didn't deserve to live. He should have died for them or with them.all day and in his dreams, he will think these things. And out in public. Every single person, including kids are the enemy until he sees them as a friendly. Every hand in a coat or pants pocket is grabbing or holding a weapon. He will watch people. He will stop and listen. He will avoid choke points and bottle neck areas. He will sit in a building facing the exit. He might just avoid the public altogether. Be patient during this transition time. It will improve but never go away. Watch for a change in him. Telling you he's sorry for little things in the past that shouldn't matter. If he starts to give his prized possessions away. Stay near him during this. It's often a sign of suicide thoughts. Boy is that a real thing. But I'm not trying to scare you! He has you. Mommy. You are his safe place. Alone with you is his most safest place mentally, physically and in his heart. He will be ok with your help. Involve him. Wounded warrior programs. Animal shelter help. (Right up your alley). I hope this helps. Sorry if it's too much too fast. But I went through it all. If you knew, great! If not, it's ok. Find a group of family like you with service members who came back. They have better and more advice.
