Living in silence

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I've been wondering for some time that their must be so many men women children all suffering with incontinence and living in silence fear it's really sad.

I always wonder if my next door neighbour going though this or the female over the road although these forums are fantastic and really helpful I feel I should do more but not sure what.
. apologies if this doesn't make sense just sharing my thoughts

Thanks

Steve
 
I know how you feel. We have had the tech savvy and the ambition to find this forum. Many people sit alone... I have had very little support from the medical community that I didn't find on my own.
 
It is a lonely existence...aggravated, in my case, by family members, including my spouse, that have little compassion or understanding of what we deal with on a daily basis. Apparently all we can hope for is support from those that truly understand.
 
@nappyman ⁶@RickB @RickB - Oh my gosh, I am so sorry that you have to go through all this with little support, especially from your spouse. ìt definitely can feel so solitary especially if you feel like nobody has your bacķ. Reading all your words breaks my heart. - The last 5 years have been̈ a horror show for us. My husband becoming a amputee due to a fem pop surgery and a blood clot that turned into gangrene. - I ended up with normal pressure hydrocephalus and had a shunt put in my head and broke both hips. - Still we had our frustrations and arguments about my IC and constantly changing the bed. It has not always been hearts and roses. My IC improved after the shunt, but still remains. - but after 42 years of the good and the bad, we remain committed and still laugh alot even though EVERYTHING no matter how small is a project to get accomplished. - I truly hope that you can have a clear reality conversation with the people in your life to improve your situation and relationships. It can be scary to be sure. Maybe even risky. I don't know your situations Only you can decide if it is worth taking the chance. I wish you all nothing but good. - Pam
 
Sometimes it can be I have a very supportive family and friends that pull me up when feeling down about my incontinence. I have been dealing with it for most of my life. Most people know in have it and don’t care. It did take me many years to be comfortable with needing diapers for daily life but I’m ok with it.
 
Presently I just use diapers and plastic pants at night. I am having small daytime issues, especially when I take my water pill. I pee every 45 minutes or so for about 6 hours. I have to be careful when I take it, because I get little warning.
 
Pammy53 said:
@nappyman ⁶@RickB @RickB - Oh my gosh, I am so sorry that you have to go through all this with little support, especially from your spouse. ìt definitely can feel so solitary especially if you feel like nobody has your bacķ. Reading all your words breaks my heart. - The last 5 years have been̈ a horror show for us. My husband becoming a amputee due to a fem pop surgery and a blood clot that turned into gangrene. - I ended up with normal pressure hydrocephalus and had a shunt put in my head and broke both hips. - Still we had our frustrations and arguments about my IC and constantly changing the bed. It has not always been hearts and roses. My IC improved after the shunt, but still remains. - but after 42 years of the good and the bad, we remain committed and still laugh alot even though EVERYTHING no matter how small is a project to get accomplished. - I truly hope that you can have a clear reality conversation with the people in your life to improve your situation and relationships. It can be scary to be sure. Maybe even risky. I don't know your situations Only you can decide if it is worth taking the chance. I wish you all nothing but good. - Pam
Click to expand...
@Pammy53
 
Pam
You and your husband’s situation reenforces my belief that I never have to look very far to see someone that is dealing with issues way worse than my own. The fact that you both can still laugh about what life has thrown at you is great to hear and remaining committed to each other speaks volumes about who you are. Best wishes for continued moments of laughter and support for each other. May God Bless you both
 
@Leemo - Thank you so much for your kind words. We truly would not want to go through any of this with anyone else. It's true, love and laughter go a long way in smoothing the path. Thanks again - Pam
 
@artiejr - My husband is not incontinent, but takes Lasix for COPD, and yes it certainly does a fine job of getting rid of ALL that excess fluid. Like you, he is up and down for four to five hours until the Lasix backs off having done its duty. If my husband has to go out during the day, he just skips taking that pill for the day, since taking it later would have him up all night. - Pam
 
I was a bed wetter up to age 14 and had to wear terry nappies and waterproof pants. I was then pretty reliably dry bar the odd night until a spinal injury in my mid 20s changed everything. I started to wet the bed again every night. That was a really lonely time as it stopped me dating, staying overnight with friends and the only people who knew were my GP and local incontinence nurse specialist. I couldn’t even tell my family. One night I had a friend staying over and she caught me changing into a nappy before bed. She was a nurse and very understanding. I also found a forum in the uk like this one and realised I was not alone. Unfortunately over the last 12 years further issues with my spine have left me needing to wear nappies 24/7. I am now 63. I have always found the Tena Slip nappies to be the most reliable and absorbent and they allow me to lead a normal and full life. I am in the UK and am lucky to get my adult nappies supplied free through the NHS Continence Service. I wear the plastic backed Tena Slip Maxi Active Fit to manage my incontinence. I am also very lucky to also have a very supportive wife of 30 years! Telling her on our first serious date that I had to wear nappies at night was terrifying but I was sure she was the one for me, and so it has proved.
 
I am relatively new to this forum and want to thank all those on here for your advice and ideas. I became Incontinent I believe from me having Covid-19. I have some other issues also. I have concluded and I try to carry on a normal life. I attend meetings K of c and the American Legion and have gone to work All the while wearing a Diaper and Plastic Pants. Only some Members of my Family and very few friends know I am Incontinent. My Knows but like some of you have said she is having problems understanding my Incontinence. It is what it is the Doctors do not know why I am having these issues they find nothing wrong. It is what it is. Thank You all again.
 
I'd like to tie all of the above comments together and put to rest, given my experience, how we deal with this incontinent life. Early on I shared the same misgivings regarding discussing this malady with others. Because I set out to fix my condition by designing a device to aid in the management thereof, I soon realized that nobody really cares that I'm not perfect (which they already knew). People are not
embarrassed having bad knees or sore backs; true, they have pain, but are often happy to share that with others for whatever reason. Since I've spoken to groups, including my neighbors regarding my condition and my solution, I can confirm that I never noticed anyone point at me with that funny look. Tell the world about your condition, but be aware they may not be listening. Best wishes.
 
Fynlee, You know I think you hit the "figurative nail on the head". I think probably 99.9% of the world could care less. But the problem is we feel broken and for the most part nobody cares because our issues are hidden under our clothes, and nobody sees anything different unless we misjudge our protection and or there is a problem with how we have to take care of our little expensive issue. But we need to know we are not broken and whether we use catheters or Pull-Ups or whatever continue living life to its fullest and not be a shut-in.
 
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