Judged by doctor

[Archives1]

I recently had to go to an urgent care for bad back pain and spasms, while being examined and administered a toradol shot the doctor noticed my diaper and started asking me what’s up with that.

Idk it felt like a judgmental tone and then she asked why I didn’t self cath instead. She said she was just surprised to see a young guy needing a diaper.

Idk if she didn’t see my chart/history but it clearly states neurogenic bladder and urinary incontinence secondary to neurological issues and chronic back issues.

I was annoyed but explained that I’ve had issues with uti’s and I prefer to manage my incontinence with pull-ups/diapers.

Changing a couple times a day is better to me than going through the self cath process.

 

[Archives1]

I think it sometimes comes as a surprise to some medical professionals that people would choose diapers. It means accepting a condition rather than constantly trying to cure it.

 

[Archives1]

They dont take time to read the full chart

 

[Archives1]

Thanks for sharing your story. Stories like this is why we at NorthShore are working so hard on changing the messaging around adult diapers so they can be seen by all as an option to consider without judgment.

Honestly, I'd choose a diaper over catheter as well. Even from a medical perspective, one may think that doctors would prefer diapers as an option over a catheter. The catheter totally eliminates brain-muscle control...the diaper at least gives your body a chance to try and retain it's normal function whenever possible.

 

[Archives1]

So I think rather you scared her with the diaper... Ok - she could have looked into the medical record - but if you go to the doctor and say that you have back problems and neurological failures and arrive there with a diaper, then he may first think that it is an acute emergency that needs to be operated on immediately because the three things are together (if they have just occurred) a case for the neurosurgical emergency room...

 

[Archives1]

For some of us, the cath just isn’t an option. I like what NS Adam had to say regarding the retention of the brain/muscle function. For me, sometimes I can make it, and am happy when I do. Other times, not so much…and I couldn’t imagine trying to shove a cath while my bladder may be about to release (I don’t have a feeling of a full or filling bladder and by the time I get an urge, it’s going to be a photo finish if I’m more than 10-15 seconds from a toilet).

If a doctor ever asks “why diapers?”, I’ll simply state that for my active lifestyle and preferences for avoiding UTI’s and side effects, diapers let me lead an otherwise normal lifestyle. It’s pretty simple really, I go into the restroom to do the same as anyone else; eliminate waste. I just completed the task ahead of schedule!

 

[Archives1]

I feel on back on ice. At the ER the doc asked if i had a diaper on due to diarrhea. From the fall. I told her no im incontinent. She said ok. After my doc retired. I was shopping for new doc. One told me im too young to need diapers. I said whats age have to due with it. I got up and left then.

 

[Archives1]

Be in this position before. It is one of the reasons that I stop going to doctors for my bed wetting when I was younger and stupid.

Doctors always tried to push drugs and when they made me feel like not myself wanted to try to keep pushing them still.

Once I was old enough I cut that off and never looked back.

Even yesterday the young resident when I was setting up my surgery was like, you really what to go back to having bowel incontinence... Like Heck no but Gi has not doee there job so what choice do I have.

I was like I am already wearing a diaper for bladder issues, this ostomy hurts all the time, I feel sick all the time, it has done nothing for spasms, So yea I will stay in diapers until they figure out what is going on.

Doctors jobs are to find out why something is going on and then help fix it. They don't alway see a diaper as a sulution to the issue.

I have lost count of how many times I have been looked at as just a normal healthy guy until the doctor reads my chart. THen they are like WTH!! I just say yea I am stuck of a ride a holloween horror nights, LOL.

 

[Archives1]

Very articulate description of what you are dealing with
Good job

 

[Archives1]

I have gone to some doctors that want me to self cath 3 times a day and other doctors that tell me that puts me at high risk of UTIs.
the most I can cath is twice a day and that is by taking a shower it make sure i am a the least risk for UTIs
and that is by using antibiotic soap and then Betadine before cathing.
Then two weeks ago i still got a UTI with no symptoms. And had to take antibiotics.
The only way I knew I had a UTI was I had to give a urine sample for a VA C&P appointment and they caught it.

 

[Archives1]

I haven't had to deal with very many doctors who questioned it.I think I might have said something like, "Oh, gee... you're the first doctor who feels that way. Is there something else, something new, something that works? Beause I really don't want to wear diapers either, and being a doctor, you would know how ineffective, and how dangerous the medications available today are." I suspect the subject would be dropped pdq.

 

[Archives1]

LOVE that response!! @jeffswet

 

[Archives1]

In my experiences I think the doctors are more surprised then judgmental. I've had plenty of comments but always from non-primary doctors. Just do what I always suggest, make a quick joke about seeing my "sexy underwear", that way you've just taken the surprise away.
When I had my last MRI, I warned the staff when they gave me that stupid robe they better not be "checking out my sexy underwear", we all laughed and absolutely nothing else was said and nothing felt awkward.

 

[Archives1]

So I guess I will chime back into this one. Just had Ostomy reverse surgery on Thursday and was sent home on Friday. While in the hospital a lot of doctors, nurses and staff saw me in a diaper. I had one on going into surgery and then woke up without anything after. I asked why they wouldn’t let the surgery catheter in until I was up and even my nurse who was getting me awake was like what the heck. She ended up having to help me into the bathroom as my bowel were filled with gas and then basically diapered me standing up. No one said anything about it except for the physical therapy team because they didn’t look at my full records. They had to see my surgery site so they got a look at my diaper and cover set up. The one asked me where I got brief coves like that and I told her about them.

The only time anything was off about being in a diaper was that I had a roommate the whole time but I didn’t care about what was said because he was in a lot worse situation than I was in.

 

[Archives1]

Yeah, I had a roommate who found a cloth brief in a load I had in the washing machine- I explained it, and nothing else was ever said about it. He became my roommate again years later after separation from his wife and again, he never mentioned it. Some people are more mature than others, clearly.

 

[Archives1]

Well my diaper butt was hanging out quite a few times when I was trying to make it to the bathroom. Truly with the hospital roommate and his family I was like “whatever” not like I am going to see them again. But they were very nice about everything.

 

[Archives1]

I had some doctors that asked me about wearing diapers. I told them it’s the easiest way for me to manage my incontinence. I have always been open to try treatment but can’t get around needing to wear. I’ve been in diapers so long it really doesn’t bother me but I hate having to explain it when seeing a new doctor or when my regular doctor is not in. However at my urologist office I don’t have this problem but most of her staff understand she only deals with incontinence.

 

[Archives1]

I recently had to go to an urgent care for bad back pain and spasms, while being examined and administered a toradol shot the doctor noticed my diaper and started asking me what’s up with that.

Idk it felt like a judgmental tone and then she asked why I didn’t self cath instead. She said she was just surprised to see a young guy needing a diaper.

Idk if she didn’t see my chart/history but it clearly states neurogenic bladder and urinary incontinence secondary to neurological issues and chronic back issues.

I was annoyed but explained that I’ve had issues with uti’s and I prefer to manage my incontinence with pull-ups/diapers.

Changing a couple times a day is better to me than going through the self cath process.

 

[Archives1]

Sorry you had to experience this Dcny. That was extremely poor bedside manner, but maybe just maybe the doctor just didn't understand like you mentioned because of your age. Still have to consider even the healthcare professionals are still human. All don't come with compassion - and sometimes not even sympathy. They should-- with all the schooling and tests and clinical socialization they have to go through, sometimes still don't help some peoples personality. But I do understand it still weighs heavy on your mind when you would like for the person taking care of you to show some compassion and maybe even ask the question in a more gentle manner. Also when in an urgent situation doctors don't always look at the full history of diagnoses but focus more on the acute or immediate issues. Just saying. But a lot of times you are the educator in helping the medical professional to understand it's your body and what's good for others may not be the best for you. JUst like you educate your family and friends unless a person works in the field of the condition you are dealing with or are used to your case, sometimes they just don't understand. Nothing wrong with you breaking the ice and starting the conversation with I'm here for -- but just to let you know I have a history of ---- and so have to use protection. It's the world we live in. But as with all others so glad you shared your story. You are not alone by any means. I love this forum it is therapy for me. Like talking to my long distance cousins that I hope are doing well. Love all

 

[Archives1]

I’ve had a few “ episodes “ recently. Bought diapers to wear to bed cause I can’t have that happen again. I’m a 57 year old male. I made an appointment to see Dr. I had same Dr for 25 years, he retired. Sarah has been my Dr for a little over a year. She’s nice, but I know I’m gonna be super nervous when I go to see her. I do not think she’ll judge me. I’m just a kinda private person and I know I’m gonna feel ashamed.