Introduction - Jim

[UinCA]

Hello!

Here is my proper introductory post.

I am 59, husband and dad, active with tennis, soccer, love the outdoors with hiking, running, skiing, and wind-and-water sports. You can find me playing with the kids, cooking, dancing at the club, or relaxing at the symphony. And I love to travel. Professionally, I work a big-company job in medical devices, and I am active in technology start-ups.

Urinary incontinence has imposed itself on my life over the past 15 years. "Trickling or gushing" is the best way to describe it today. It is accompanied with cramping and urgency when my bladder fills, sometimes unbearable. My urologist says that my bladder "is bad a storing urine and bad at emptying". I continuously have varying levels of pain in my groin and testicles.

My preferred solution to manage my incontinence is through high capacity diapers, BetterDry, Tranquility, Abena M3, etc. These are diapers I can trust. They allow me to go through my day and night without worrying or being distracted, they have enough capacity, they don't move out of place, leaks are rare. And they allow me to avoid UTIs that I invariably get when using catheters. When exercising, I switch to thinner pull-ups. And sometimes, I use external catheters to help my skin recover or to avoid rashes when it's hot.

There are many adjustments I had to make to my life so that I can focus on my responsibilities and passions. Of course, there are the mattress protectors, PUL pants, the air-tight trash can in the bathroom, peri washes, wipes, and ointments. There is extra luggage when traveling, the diaper bag and the change of clothes when out of the house, black pants 95% of the time. But it took me a long time to adjust my wardrobe so that I have the confidence of looking professional when at work, I am comfortable at home, and I can show up in style when at a music festival - while diapered. Getting my pants and shorts modified with gussets was key. Onesies are the ideal underwear and sometimes substitute as t-shirts.

There are several challenges for which I have not found good solutions: Heat and leaking during sex.

Heat or hot weather: The only times I get a rash or a yeast infection is when it's warm or when I travel to a hot climate. Plus, diapers are uncomfortable when I am hot. This is not an issue when I play tennis or go for a run because it is for an hour or two, and I sweat anyway, wear tight-fitting clothes to avoid chafing. But it is an issue when hiking in hot weather or even when sitting down while sweating. Condom catheters are one way to reduce the discofort from sweating in diapers, but I have not learned to trust them, am always afraid of a leak or blow-out, so I only use them at home. If you have tips regarding condom catheters or how to deal with heat, please do let me know.

Leaking during sex is just what it sounds like. I don't like it, I don't want it, it's embarrassing, and it bothers my wife. If I catheterize just before, I can reduce the leaking and sometimes avoid it altogether. Of course, my fluid intake is a factor, but sex is not always planned, and I try to avoid catheters. Please let me know how you manage this.

I would love to connect with others. The part of my life that revolves around my incontinence has been very lonely. The rest of my life is amazing and rich and wonderful

Jim

 

[ChrisC]

Hey Jim, I'm new to the forum and diving head first into wearing diapers. I'm 55, close to your age and have about the same urinary issues. However, I've noticed my bladder muscles weakening and the leaking is starting to develop into a constant steady trickle.

The earliest confirmation of urinary issues was in my late teens, early twenties. My issues started well before that. I had some bad habits early on and they've continued through the years. When I was a little boy, I would hold it way too long. By my late teens, early twenties, I had this constant feeling of having to pee. Wasn't a problem beyond the feeling. Between shifts on jobs, travel, and more bad habits, I have severely stretched out my bladder. At 29-30 I started having serious lower back issues. At this same time, I start dribbling in my BDUs and it uncomfortable and noticeable. The military further pushed my over extended my bladder in the regular. At this time, I started wearing my wife's pads. Got scoped, poked, prodded, and prescribed. Nothing changed. About 10 years later, I had my gallbladder removed. While in recovery, I wet the bed at home twice. Completely unexpected. At this time, I had been dribbling on the regular and wearing a Men's pad. I spent tons of money through years trying to find a comfortable solutions. For the last 8-10 years, I've been in and out of diapers and I always find it the option that gives me the highest feeling of security. After A LOT of years being on the internet I came across a crazy cool device our military pilots use on long flights. I got the VA, with the help of the company, I got it approved (OmniMedical ProREN Urinary Collection System). It's a great system. A healthy system. However, it advertises your incontinence. It's loud enough when in operation that it draws attention and explanation and the hose is tough to hide under your clothes. For this reason, I'm moving to diapers fulltime.

I stumbled on your introduction from a search for "heat rash" and thought I'd drop you a post. One of the discomforts I encounter is heat rash or chaffing on my inner thighs. I can't say if they are from rubbing, excessive moisture, or urine. I'm trying to figure out if putting a barrier cream on my inner thighs if that would help. My concern with this is its impact on my pants and weather it bleed through. I don't believe it would, but thought I'd ask about your experience being so active.