Hey guys

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whats up everyone out there!
my name is andy. been dealing with bowel and bladder incontinence since i was small.
tried a lot of solutions which didn't end up working as well so still stuck using briefs
just about to start college and dealt with a lot of issues in high school with the incontinence.
it has been getting worse over the years and now as crappy as it sounds i've had to start using more secure briefs and as a guy i'm finding it so hard to find the best clothing to deal with it. will try and start a thread about that seperately but that's what i've been stressed out about lately since i moved to using confidry for both day time and night time use.
just hoping to get some good advice, meet new people and not feel so freaking alone with this.
thanks!

 

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Welcome to the forum. I'm sure you will get useful advice from people suffering from the same thing. Phil

 

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Hi Andy there is more than one guy your age in your position who have posted here do hope they see your thread as people pop in and out.
Takes "guts" to be in your situation, the good news is you have coped a long time so you know what to do.
For now, best regards and hello!!

 

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Welcome Andy! I wish this forum had been available when I was in college. I’ve had severe urinary urgency incontinence due to neurogenic bladder. I’ve been in and out of briefs since grade school.
You’ll make it! Hang in there!
I now wear an extended wear brief, Confidry 24/7 and a booster for day wear. It gets me confidently through an 8 hour work day. No body notices, or at least if they have they haven’t said anything.
I did go up a size in jeans and slacks, but you can find fashionable clothing that will accommodate your protection, I promise!
Another good thing, especially for bowel issues is Garywear “active briefs” they are PUL pants and are great, for noise and odor. I’ve had minor bowel issues as well. Definitely not daily. I am sorry you are in this, but you have MANY people in it with you, from all walks of life.
I don’t change very often, but for bowel episodes you will need to change. Which probably means you can get away with a thinner brief than I use.
I’ve even found success with cheaper Prevail Air briefs. These can be found for less than $.75 each.
I am also just using the word brief because that’s what you used. I want to be respectful. But it’s easer when you can have the freedom to say as most of us here do, “it is what it is!!!” Again, you’ll make it through, hang in there. Keep us updated!

 

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I now wear an extended wear brief, Confidry 24/7 and a booster for day wear. It gets me confidently through an 8 hour work day. No body notices, or at least if they have they haven’t said anything.
I did go up a size in jeans and slacks, but you can find fashionable clothing that will accommodate your protection, I promise!
Another good thing, especially for bowel issues is Garywear “active briefs” they are PUL pants and are great, for noise and odor. I’ve had minor bowel issues as well. Definitely not daily. I am sorry you are in this, but you have MANY people in it with you, from all walks of life.
I don’t change very often, but for bowel episodes you will need to change. Which probably means you can get away with a thinner brief than I use.

unfortunately i had to start using confidry a few years ago because of the volume of my bladder and bowel accidents, and i always end up using up the brief totaly even before i have a bowel accident which i have like 2-3 a day, sorry it sounds unpleasent
on most days i go through 3 confidry's.....4 on really bad days-they do happen sometimes.
i also have the terrible luck of having to wake up with a soiled brief a few times a week,
yeah, brief is what i started calling them when i had to talk about it with doctors/parents etc. it's so embarrasing.

 

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Ok, here it is... the biggest secret and most helpful item of clothing you'll ever wear with incontinence. A onesie!! No, not one with childish prints (unless that's something you want) but just a plain solid colour. Mine are all black with 5 snaps in the crotch. These serve several purposes. You'll almost NEVER be untucked when bending over or moving around... they cut down on bulkiness by helping to keep the brief next to your skin and not sagging. It cuts out the crinkle sound when you move if wearing a poly backed diaper, and if you do happen to leak (and let's face it diapers leak ALWAYS) the onesie acts as an extra layer of wicking prior to liquid hitting your jeans. Oh, and the jeans one size larger than you need is good, an the new jeans with the lyrca type material in them that stretch are amazing for keeping things together if you know what I mean... You can get through this... incontinence is NOT fatal, or really a threat to your health. It can fuck with your head more than anything. You just have to deal with that part of things. Remember, this could be much worse... like in a world without our current technology... a world without incontinence products... This is what makes me grateful for diapers really... the alternative would be sitting on the toilet 24hrs/day...
Good luck, hang in there. The only easy day was yesterday. Never quit. Always move forward!!
We're here if you need us. We've almost all been where you're at. You got this!!

Jay

 

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Wow zjay you certainly have a clear way of stating things!
Where do men but onsies what store or on line ?

 

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Ok, here it is... the biggest secret and most helpful item of clothing you'll ever wear with incontinence. A onesie!! No, not one with childish prints (unless that's something you want) but just a plain solid colour. Mine are all black with 5 snaps in the crotch. These serve several purposes. You'll almost NEVER be untucked when bending over or moving around... they cut down on bulkiness by helping to keep the brief next to your skin and not sagging. It cuts out the crinkle sound when you move if wearing a poly backed diaper, and if you do happen to leak (and let's face it diapers leak ALWAYS) the onesie acts as an extra layer of wicking prior to liquid hitting your jeans. Oh, and the jeans one size larger than you need is good, an the new jeans with the lyrca type material in them that stretch are amazing for keeping things together if you know what I mean... You can get through this... incontinence is NOT fatal, or really a threat to your health. It can fuck with your head more than anything. You just have to deal with that part of things. Remember, this could be much worse... like in a world without our current technology... a world without incontinence products... This is what makes me grateful for diapers really... the alternative would be sitting on the toilet 24hrs/day...
Good luck, hang in there. The only easy day was yesterday. Never quit. Always move forward!!
We're here if you need us. We've almost all been where you're at. You got this!!

Jay

I will definitely try this because no matter how well I try to hide it I have never been satisfied with how discreet the briefs are, or lack there of. and actually for my incontinence i really do need something with the capacity of a confidry because so far everything else I have tried which are more discreet never go well.

Yeah it's not fatal, but I find it prevents me from doing a lot of things and being spontanious, everything has to be planned and meeting people is stressfull as hell. I agree though, things could be much worse, I just feel like i'm on the edge sometimes.
But i'm glad I found this place, i'm glad there's somewhere I can go to other than my doctor to get advice, especially since you guys probably have more experience/knowledge with this. I'm just hoping for things to improve in the future because I know i'm going to have to learn to deal with it for the rest of my life most probably.

 

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To add to what @canadianbaby said, loose clothing helps hide things as well, and dark colors don't show leaks as much.

 

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First welcome to a place with no judgement. Second I understand how you feel I was in them until I was 10 full time and 17 at night and then after an accident back in them 24/7 since just before my 22nd birthday. I will say the best products I have found so far is the northshore megamax. They are thick as they get full, but if you wear loosely fitting clothing you won't have to worry as much about people noticing. Also wearing boxer briefs over the top can help hold them up in place to help prevent notice due to sagging. If you are worried about smell you can get a supplement called nullo that helps eliminate smells. I believe Amazon sells it. For clothing you can always get sizes a lil big and wear a belt to help as well as wear longer shirts. (I'm a size 32 pants and medium shirt, but I wear 36 and large to help with hiding any bulge and to prevent my shirt from rising up to show my waistband.)

 

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I’m going to throw out a scary thought. Several years back I saw a post from a young man. He had been in college for a year. Instead of trying to hide it he owned at acknowledged it. He described even playing football (skins) with his diaper showing. He described feeling accepted and that if anyone said anything it was respectful curiosity. Maybe take the opportunity yourself, instead of hiding, educate. Show them by accepting yourself, that there is nothing wrong with you. It would take a lot of bravery but might be worth it.

 

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Mightychi you raise quite a potent position. I agree with what you stated however back when I was in college I don’t think I was strong enough to do that. I was lucky in a sense that I didn’t have to deal with diapers back then. But fast forward to today and thanks to my MS I have to wear diapers now 24/7. I am lucky in a sense that I only have to deal with fecal issues once in a blue moon. Now a days I don’t care if people see my diaper. Granted I try to minimize them but I am who I am and I don’t need to apologize for anything. I am a very blunt and direct person and I think that helps immensely as I honestly do not care what people think about me.

As jay (canadianbaby) said above and he pretty much nailed it. The only easy day was yesterday. We do not know what the future holds for us but if we keep an open mind and keep moving forward we will get through anything. Just be happy to experience and enjoy another day. You are getting into the prime of your life and be sure the enjoy it and don’t sweat the small things.

Welcome aboard this site. And if you need help you guidance or just want to rant drop us and or me a line. It does get better.