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Tomorrow is the memorial service followed by a celebration of life for my husband. He died August 24 at the age of 81.
I was his caregiver for so many years; at first it was little things to help him; eventually, care included incontinence day and night; finally, confined to a wheelchair and failing medically. His gift to me was his unfailing courtesy with a thank you for every thing I did, large or small. His love was absolute for 35 years. He wakened every day in pain facing a choice: happy or miserable - lucky me, he chose the former even though it was often an act. He did not complain. His many friends were shocked at his death, they did not know how much he suffered.
I come here to tell you your conversations and support of each other kept me going right up to the end. I grew to love you - all of you - and you became my private family. A kind, compassionate, funny, worried, welcoming, supportive and knowledgeable collection of folks.
There is one thread I wish to comment upon; qualifying for disability. It cannot be accomplished alone. Find attorneys that do only social security cases and turn your claim over to them. At the first consultation we were told it would be denied; it always is denied. Then the attorney goes to work. It took almost two years to succeed. The final hearing before a judge required one thing to win, I believe: the humble truth. My husband was questioned and he did not exaggerate or claim more than was true and the judge clearly sensed that. His claim was approved. It has been a long time ago but I believe the attorney took as his fee the first month disability payment. No cost during the preparation. Often these attorneys had been judges in hearings and knew the system inside and out. Do not give up. Chase what is rightfully yours.
I am moving on now and will leave you behind. At 84 I am still active and relatively healthy. I am so sad but nevertheless joyful that my guy is pain free and able to breathe. Absent from the body, present with the Lord.
Thank you all, VISIBLE
I was his caregiver for so many years; at first it was little things to help him; eventually, care included incontinence day and night; finally, confined to a wheelchair and failing medically. His gift to me was his unfailing courtesy with a thank you for every thing I did, large or small. His love was absolute for 35 years. He wakened every day in pain facing a choice: happy or miserable - lucky me, he chose the former even though it was often an act. He did not complain. His many friends were shocked at his death, they did not know how much he suffered.
I come here to tell you your conversations and support of each other kept me going right up to the end. I grew to love you - all of you - and you became my private family. A kind, compassionate, funny, worried, welcoming, supportive and knowledgeable collection of folks.
There is one thread I wish to comment upon; qualifying for disability. It cannot be accomplished alone. Find attorneys that do only social security cases and turn your claim over to them. At the first consultation we were told it would be denied; it always is denied. Then the attorney goes to work. It took almost two years to succeed. The final hearing before a judge required one thing to win, I believe: the humble truth. My husband was questioned and he did not exaggerate or claim more than was true and the judge clearly sensed that. His claim was approved. It has been a long time ago but I believe the attorney took as his fee the first month disability payment. No cost during the preparation. Often these attorneys had been judges in hearings and knew the system inside and out. Do not give up. Chase what is rightfully yours.
I am moving on now and will leave you behind. At 84 I am still active and relatively healthy. I am so sad but nevertheless joyful that my guy is pain free and able to breathe. Absent from the body, present with the Lord.
Thank you all, VISIBLE
