There has been some recent discussion on sex & incontinence - try various search terms. Since one of the apparent causes of incontinence seems to be prostate problems and cancer, that meshes with ED. The topic sometimes appears under a different heading, here.
It isn't just the person with ED, as partners try to deal with it and need help/advice too.
If there is a separate forum for that, I've never stumbled on it. There are several solutions for ED, some more comfortable or accessible. Depending, some don't/can't work.
There are prescription meds, in the form of pills - several, now. There is the vacumm pump (prescription, for some dumb reason). There are some reputable "sex-toy" companies, and they may have a non-prescription one(s). The only one that comes to mind is "good vibrations", in San Francisco. (Where else?) I think I have the name correct.
There is a "system" called "muse" - a prescription med is placed inside the urethra.
There is a self-administered prescription shot. Not sure of the drug(s) name, but it is commonly referred to as "bi-mix". It only comes from a "compounding pharmacy", and only certain ones.
Any decent urologist should be able to advise/prescribe. If yours can't or won't, get a different one or ask the clinic/hospital for a referral. The urologist's nurse(s) can offer advice or point you in the right direction, once the uncooperative urologist is out of the room. They've heard it all, so don't worry about them.
Had a couple of "retreats" with the local incontinence/prostate cancer support group. The first one featured 2 urologists, one night. Q & A, too. It just takes one brave guy to get the conversation going, or an understanding Doc. It wasn't a YMCA campfire discussion!
Good luck.
