Feel like a freak

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Hi all

Currently in mental hell at the moment had Bladder botox (Bladder neck an Urethral Spinter on the 25 March) and had to have Indwelling Catheter due to retention issues on the 27th.

OMG the relief from my bladder sensory issues

Not having to wake up 4-5time per night to travel to bathroom which occasionally causes falls.

Able to drink water without Bladder giving me issues so was restricted to soda based or other drinks.

As well as other bladder issues I have had since 2009 since spinal injury.

I really hate myself enjoying this relief (I am to keep this in til the 22 May when my urologist comes back) and I want a solution where he operates on me internally to have the same relief as the catheter (already been in full taped diapers since 2009 and find them comfortable) OMFG I feel like such a freak to the point I emailed my treating Consultant Psychiatrist of 3 years regarding this and requesting a Psychiatric assessment as well as psychologist as they both know I have been suffering.

I suffer from under and overactive bladder and retention and can not safely self cath due to bad essential tremors in hands (had previous urological staff give up on me as I refused on medical grounds) I also have Autism, Bipolar and ADHD and since 2009 spinal issues at l3l4l5 s1 which neurosurgeon has written no treatment or surgery was an option.

I was for a permanent solution for health safety (retention) as well as Quality of life solution but I feel so fucking messed up in the head that I am taking valium more regularly (Psychiatrist knows but isn't concerned as he did a phone safety check up on me after the emails I sent him)

 

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You should not feel odd for looking out for your own health and well being. Have a frank and honest conversation with your doctor and if they do not listen or provide help, definitely keep looking for others. I have talked to a few people in life in similar situations and I find myself there to some level as well. The spasms are downright frustrating and distracting for me, and I have wondered, if only I could find a doctor that would cut the sphincters and allow me to just drain, I would be so much more happy and comfortable. I have worn diapers for a very long time, but today it is just waiting for the spasms to overcome the resistance of the sphincter to drain as needed. If it just did its thing and my life was still the same, I would be happier.

Keep your head up and let us know how things come out for you.

 

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I have pudendal nerve problems which cause me urinary frequency and urge incontinence along with stress incontinence from the prostatectomy surgery. While I had incontinence problems prior to the prostatectomy surgery my biggest problem was I was sleep deprived because I get up every 45 to 60 minutes due to frequency. The sleep deprivation is destroying me.
When I had the prostatectomy I was put on a catheter and slept through the night for seven days and felt the best I had for years, it is amazing how important sleep is.
While the incontinence is bad, I can handle it by wearing protection heavy protection but the lack of sleep makes me not drive long distance and depresses me.
I am going to a urologist to discuss options to handle the incontinence and one item is an AUS, but with the hypersenstivity of my pudendal nerve to pressure and muscle tension in the pelvic area I do not want surgery. I just got intolerable pain that stopped me from sitting after the prostatectomy with help of therapy and a nerve block. Also the AUS does not address my sleep problem so I am going to ask about getting an indwelling catheter.
So I understand you, I wear diapers and can deal with them better than the catheter and if I just wet through the night and slept I would stay with them.
I for some reason produce most of urine at night and wake up at 6 ounces like clock work. I want to get the sleep I got when I had the catheter. If someone told they can make me leak without a catheter at night so I can sleep I would want it too