Embarrassed woman age 48

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I have had 3 random episodes where I was dreaming of urinating, only to find that I wet the bed. I do not have diabetes or any disorders. I always wake up in the middle of the night to urinate. I only have wet the bed right before getting up in the morning, usually 5 am - 6 am. The pee dream starts.

I am in peri menopause right now. I can’t think of anything else. I’m too embarrassed to tell my husband. I have explained the wet spot by saying I spilled water or the cat peed or threw up on the bed. I don’t want to see a doctor. I can’t sleep well for the most part and this makes me even more anxious. Any meds I can buy without a prescription? I worked at the local clinic in the past and don’t want any co-workers seeing my medical history. Thanks

 

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Hi there.
There is a oxybutynin they sell at Wal-Mart called oxytrol take it before bed.
Its oxybutynin but lowered dosage
Will help with your issues.
Nothing to be embarrassed about this has happened 3 times in my life once when I was at a family members house while on vacation I was 20 years old at the time, talk about embarrassing.

 

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Hi friend, I suspect it is perimenopause related I of course have no idea if it is or not. But it's common for women in this age. Put baking soda on the spot you wet the mattress then a waterproof mattress protector as a sensible precaution. You can vaccum up the absorbent baking soda after a few days of it absorbing odor from the mattress.
Tell your doctor when you have reason to see them or make a special appointment if you dont need to get a routine visit. To double check diabetes or such. But the good news is it is likely to bore not embarrass your physician as it is an ordinary issue. In the feminine care aisle you will see a variety of incontinence pads as well a depends type product s that you never noticed before or thought they were some one else's problem if you noticed them at all. It is because it's a common problem.(except for day use they arent worth buying).
Your doctor may recommend some physicalmtherapy exercises or even a prescription for a an anti incontinence med. The later cause side effects like headaches dry mouth even foggy mind and dont seem too effective. The $20 over the counter Azo has been a waste of money as far as I can tell but then you feel worse because it didn't work as if something is very wrong with you personally.
I dont have any perfect advise except to learn you are not alone, "accidents happen" may become your motto and on we go.
Perimenopause can add to the anxious sleep and so one learns to do the best one can and be kind to ourselves. That is the most important part of all this. Dont feel alone.

 

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It goes without saying that you are not alone! As for meds to help you sleep maybe melatonin is the answer. It is non-prescription but it is pretty gentle and in many cases gentle is better than something more potent. Do give melatonin a try. If that doesn't seem to work then it may be time to see the doctor. But please don't be embarrassed. It's nothing the doctor hasn't seen before. And you know, the people at your clinic have seen people with much worse things. So please don't hesitate seeing someone if a simple remedy such as melatonin doesn't help.

 

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Sleep cycles vary and you go through multiple stages of sleep from deep to not deep. If you get a strong urge to pee during a deep cycle of sleep, your body may be trying to wake you while your mind is still deep in sleep. Kinda like sleep walking or jerking while falling asleep.

 

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@DWR Sorry to hear you are stressed out about this. I totally get it and since it is new to you embarrassing. I've had the 'pee dream' before. no fun waking up on those mornings.

I don't really have any suggestions as to meds since I don't use any but wanted you to know you are not alone in this and we are here to support you.

 

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Check out this forum's advice on meds - seems like few get good reviews. The OTCs? Like the homeopathics? It's worth a very careful try. We're not seeing rave reviews, here, but if it works for you? How about Sleep Apnea or similar? There can be a link there. It really seems like it is worth a trip to a doctor, even if it has to be a different clinic. It's a heck of a piece of mind to eliminate, say, cancer. Stress can be linked to incontinence.

 

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Hi there.
There is a oxybutynin they sell at Wal-Mart called oxytrol take it before bed.
Its oxybutynin but lowered dosage
Will help with your issues.
Nothing to be embarrassed about this has happened 3 times in my life once when I was at a family members house while on vacation I was 20 years old at the time, talk about embarrassing.

@Izthewiz

 

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Thanks! I have used Oxytrol for 2 days now and it works! I haven’t even had to get up to go to the bathroom in the night. My hubby thinks it’s a perI-menopause hormone patch. He was joking this morning and said he hopes I never pee the bed! I asked him what he’d do if I couldn’t help it?! He said he didn’t know. No threat of violence or anything, just think he’d be really upset. That attitude just kind of makes me sad. I can’t tell him. I don’t ever keep secrets from him ..:

 

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Dear DWR what is your communication style to resolve issues? This is important in the incontinence comversation because unfortunately, as we go on in years things will continue to change in our bodies outside our control.
He may lose a tooth and require a denture. Or go bald. Your waist may thicken in menopause. Etc

Do you you handle stuff with humor or straight head on? What ever your style be honest. Dont blame the cat, its incredibly humbling to deal with aging.

 

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Well said MayMay,
Indeed it is humbling. Hope you and everyone has a nice weekend.
If you go swimming, don’t forget to take off your depends or you may look like you are sitting in a pool floaty. Oh, and for those who can’t put down their electronics, don’t leave them in you pocket when you jump in the pool. Yeah. Even at $800 a phone people forget.

 

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Jim Poorman that's quite a visual! Laughed out loud

 

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I still keep seeking that cartoon with the older couple at the pool and the wife chastising her husband...”Harold! You forgot to take off you Depends again!” As he’s looking like he has a rubber ducky floaty around his waist. Priceless!

 

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I'm thinking like a McGivver, so if you soak your Cell phone in the swimming pool and put it in a bowl of uncooked rice to dry it out would sitting in a tub of uncooked rice be helpful to drying out ones nether region? Doesn't seem like a win.

 

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I’m new to this site. I guess you can say I’m embarrassed at 51, but life throws us curveballs from time to time. You could have possible Nocturia which was diagnosed for me. You’ll get through this. The positives are that you have no underplaying conditions and it could Only be temporary. Try setting an alarm to wake you up early so you can go before you go. You could try wearing some form of protection till this passes. I would definitely recommend seeing a professional to run tests, if for nothing else than to put any fears to rest. First and foremost, talk to your husband and together you’ll work it out. All my best

 

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@DWR,
Hi and welcome!
Okay for the pee spots go to Walmart and get nature’s miracle. It’s in the pet isle and works amazing. No stain and no odor. Keeps everything looking new.

Go get checked by your doc. There are a couple strains of infection that can cause a uti and you may not know you have it. Or get an AZO test kit and pee on the stick at home. It’s fairly accurate and no copay if it’s positive go get a urine culture from your doc. Those tests will show what the culprit (bacteria) that’s causing it and tell the doc what drug it’s not resistant too.

If they are negative and you don’t feel like anything else is wrong, Amazon has some gadgets that can help strengthen you pelvic floor muscles. They have one I got called istim that is pretty good and comes with the vaginal probe. For guys you have to order the rectal probe separately.
A few minutes a day has helped a good bit.

I have found most people are understanding when it comes to accidents. They happen, just part of life for some of us. You can always get a washable underpad under the sheet on your side of the bed. Then if you need to wash it. Just toss it in the washer. Easy spot cleanup.

Hang in there, as far as the pee dream goes, allot of people get that too. You will find several topics and posts on the pee dream.

You aren’t alone, you have friends here who care and are probably dealing with the same or a similar issue.

Glad to have you here!

Kind regards,
Jim in Maryland

 

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@Maymay941,

Love that idea but the rice may get in our pieces and parts and if you sit down...ouch!



Good to see you posting again. You were missed.

Jim

 

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Hi DWR, glad to see that Oxytrol is working for you. It goes to show you that most times the simplest over the counter meds are the best as they are the cheapest and are usually effective. If no OTC med is effective or gives you the satisfaction and relief you want then it may be time fro a trip to the doctor. But glad you're responding to it now. At some point I hope you have a good heart-two-heart talk with your husband on the subject that people physically change as they get older. It's just the way it is!
It happens to all of us, sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but it's going to happen. I've had cataracts removed (less than 10 minutes per eye and no hospital required only need glasses for reading) and learning you have cataracts in the first place is a very humbling experience, just like what you went through with your dream and what we all are going through with incontinence. AS for resolving issues I think approaching it with humor works best. There have been posts here on how to use humor to defuse embarrassment caused by incontinence.
And Jim, carrying an $800 cell phone into a pool area is a nightmare waiting to happen! But not to worry, I'm not about to shell out $800 for a cell phone!

 

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@billliveshere ,
I just have hand me down cell phones. But you would be surprised how many people drop their state of the art phone in the toilet or loo or get pushed into the pool or jump in and forget their electronic appendage is still in their hand or pocket.
And it’s just as many adults as it is the kids. Crazy but true. One of my roles at work is taking care of the phone users and their accounts.

 

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@DWR I’m so sorry your husband is rude about this. After all, he pledged to be with you “in sickness and in health.” His pelvic equipment isn’t going to work forever, either. If he’s your age, he probably already malfunctions compared to when he was 19! My ex-husband and his family didn’t believe in medicine; they thought “mind over matter” could fix everything. A non-understanding husband like that isn’t worth being married to. Living in fear of one’s closest human is a living hell. I hope he can learn to treat you with more respect. You can remind him that urine is essentially sterile. He could even drink your urine and he’d be fine. Urine isn’t feces. So he can handle a bit of pee on the sheet once in a while, as you determine, through trial and error, which incontinence product(s) and/or medication(s) work best for you.

I’m glad Oxytrol is working for you. I hope it continues to help. I do think you need to see a doctor, though. You could be on the verge of vaginal, bladder, or uterine prolapse. You could have cancer of the bladder. You could have a hernia, or a spinal injury you’re unaware of. It’s more likely it’s just age, but I still think it’s best to make sure it’s not something worse.

Good luck and I wish you success with keeping dry. Waking up wet is one of my least favorite things in life.