"Dont go Autistic on Me"

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Hey Guys;

Sorry had to take some time away from the forum - havent really been having a good week outside of work. Works been going good; but my bladder spasms are worse again this week and the Bedwetting/Nocturnal Enuresis is really getting to my self esteem. This morning I felt so pathetic throwing away my brief in the morning. Will it ever go away?

But regardless of the fact; this topic isnt about incontinence - more so mental health and character traits in general.

Ive never been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, but a couple of years ago - i was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder - but over the past couole months - ive been self relfecting wondering if thats what i have.

As a child; i had speech issues as you know - and my step mom would talk down to me for them. Well during and after the divorce, when i was 3 and 4; prior to spreech therapy - i would hit my head against the wall because i couldnt talk or express myself per my what my mother told me. This was the late 90s, but thats a trait of autism.

I have specific interests and am highly artistic, and am socially awkward - again, other traits of Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I remember going to theme parks every summer, just my dad and myself - and we alwayw had a good time. My step mom, brother, dad and I never did or do things as a family; but my Dad honestly does try. Well anyway, i remember standing in line in my mid teen years and i was a little nervous about trying the inverted roller coaster and because i was nervous i was talking to myself in line. And my Dad, because he didnt want to be ashamed told me "Don't go Autistic on me". Which makes me wonder if he knows im different deep down.

Ive been really struggling the past two years to adapt to the isolation with COVID19 and losing control of my bladder control and dealing with constant pain and urge - but i dont know if i can fully accept a diagnosis of Autism on top of all of this.

I mean, maybe it will be a sigh of relief because it will finally explain my brain and how it works.

Does anybody else here have Autism Spectrum Disorder? Do you think it is linked to your bladder condition? How do you overcome people who are unkind to you like your parents or treat you differently because your neurodiverse?

Kind Regards,
HC

 

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Hey Friend I've been so proud of you listening to your ability reach out for life choices vthat work for you and your kind and interesting posts here.
As far as I'm concerned who cares to what end would it be to self diagnose or get a mental health evaluation to label you?
You are a growing evolving person who is trying to manage if nothing else s painful bladder condition.
I read a rather good autism "meme" from a friend in Finland who is quite open that she is autistic (and artistic and caustic of wit and intelligent) I can copy the information she posted on FB I will take a minute to find it.
In my family two cousins are likely asberger spectrum (I think that's a functional end of Autism spectrum ) and a nephew who is very likely so I don't have a lot of contact due to geography and personal choices of our lives but it keeps me interested in under standing the issue. I keep the communication door open an functional.

Point being "you are who you are" and in m book you are a good dude.

Thank you for sharing about your better moments with your father to round out the picture.

 

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I'm in the same situation here.

I've also not been formally diagnosed with autism or aspbergers either. but some of the traits i have and things i do point to autism / asbergers although the high functiong sides.

I've done some reading up on bladder control and the many underlying conditions that can / will cause it.
And a few of the conditions are mental / brain issues. Autism spectrum disorder is on the list so for us it might be a possible thing.

 

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@Honeeecombs I'm formally diagnosed with ASD (having been misdiagnosed with Depression and Bipolar in the past). It's very hard to get an ASD diagnosis as an adult (and indeed it was only after seeing a superb therapist very long term when I was 23/4 who picked up on it) and misdiagnoses are common. One of the key aspects to my autism is oversensitivity to sensory stimuli, which becomes more acute when I am stressed. This can lead to meltdowns and shutdowns and doctors misread that as a 'mixed state'. Once I learned to deal with sensory overload my life became much easier.

Regarding any links to autism and incontinence - I can only talk from my experience and say that I've had lifelong incontinence issues. Interoceptive awareness can be an issue with autism (i.e. not fully feeling/interpreting signals from your body - i.e. hunger, thirst, temperature, need for the toilet etc.). It certainly explains my chronic issues. I saw one site that said it's only in kids and they grow out of it but I haven't. That has improved as I've gotten older (well, pre the Long Covid practically removing all my control) but was still an issue pre everything getting worse for LC reasons. I think it highlights one of the issues with the 'spectrum' and terms like 'high' and 'low' functioning - I'm high functioning outwardly but feel rather low functioning in terms of dealing with adult life and indeed basic things like bodily awareness/toileting.

Often, the issue with autism is that all the diagnostics are often focused on how you were as a kid. I was only 24 when I was diagnosed but even then my childhood seemed like a lifetime ago. It's also a massively misunderstood condition. People just think it's about being socially awkward and insanely good at maths but it's much more like managing a mental health condition. I've had doctors have no clue about it. Which, considering that Long Covid/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is also hugely misunderstood, it's often an utter joy dealing with doctors!

If you are concerned about being autistic then I'd definitely pursue it.

 

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@Honeeecombs

Autism and diagnosing Autism today can show a lot about a person's personality. Both my mother and sister specialize in ESE (exceptional student education). My sister works directly with and diagnoses Autism as well as sets educational plains for Autism students.

Today it is not that hard to get a formal diagnosis.

Both my sister and mother feel that I am on the spectrum.


Side note: Most places no longer refer to Asburgers but just an ASD.

 

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@Honeeecombs I'm formally diagnosed with ASD (having been misdiagnosed with Depression and Bipolar in the past). It's very hard to get an ASD diagnosis as an adult (and indeed it was only after seeing a superb therapist very long term when I was 23/4 who picked up on it) and misdiagnoses are common. One of the key aspects to my autism is oversensitivity to sensory stimuli, which becomes more acute when I am stressed. This can lead to meltdowns and shutdowns and doctors misread that as a 'mixed state'. Once I learned to deal with sensory overload my life became much easier.

Regarding any links to autism and incontinence - I can only talk from my experience and say that I've had lifelong incontinence issues. Interoceptive awareness can be an issue with autism (i.e. not fully feeling/interpreting signals from your body - i.e. hunger, thirst, temperature, need for the toilet etc.). It certainly explains my chronic issues. I saw one site that said it's only in kids and they grow out of it but I haven't. That has improved as I've gotten older (well, pre the Long Covid practically removing all my control) but was still an issue pre everything getting worse for LC reasons. I think it highlights one of the issues with the 'spectrum' and terms like 'high' and 'low' functioning - I'm high functioning outwardly but feel rather low functioning in terms of dealing with adult life and indeed basic things like bodily awareness/toileting.

Often, the issue with autism is that all the diagnostics are often focused on how you were as a kid. I was only 24 when I was diagnosed but even then my childhood seemed like a lifetime ago. It's also a massively misunderstood condition. People just think it's about being socially awkward and insanely good at maths but it's much more like managing a mental health condition. I've had doctors have no clue about it. Which, considering that Long Covid/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is also hugely misunderstood, it's often an utter joy dealing with doctors!

If you are concerned about being autistic then I'd definitely pursue it.

Thank you guys - you guys (and gals) are a wonderful support group for these types of thoughts and concerns.

@Sci_Fi_Fan: if I do have Autism; I'm thinking I'm more towards the High Functioning/Aspergers Syndrome range. I was tested for learning disabilities in the 7th grade and scored an IQ of a college level student (but don't let that impress you; I had the social skills of a 3rd or 4th grader) - so I wasn't put in any remedial classes; I just had a specialized resource who helped me get my homework finished in the morning because I would never do my homework when I got home. With my mom being sick and my dad and step mom not always being involved - I never had the support system at home to ever accomplish my tasks. My childhood was basically spent playing The Sims, Simcity and Roller Coaster Tycoon lol.

But now that I've been isolated; I feel like I've regressed in regards to social interaction which is why it's been on my mind lately. Cooping up in my apartment due to the embarassment of incontinence and losing friends from college took a toll on myself.

@compwiz878: that's what I'm thinking to be honest. I had a lot of struggles with toileting as a young lad growing up - so it's not a shocker it returned when it did.

It's just weird that the timing of the pandemic and being isolated caused my bladder condition to worsen to the point of sporadic daytime incontinence which progressed to more and more episodes.

Well anywho,

I mean I don't feel different. I don't feel less in regards to my brain and it's ability to handle situations. I think the majority of how less I feel is geared towards the incontinence - but in the same notion; it's also geared towards how I'm treated by family and such.

Blessings,
HC

 

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Here's a post on Autism from my self declared autistic friend

*Can't hear the tv but does anyone else hear the cc lock ticking
*Can't drink this water.its old.no, I an taste it.iknow its from an hour ago. No, it's not ok.
*Safe good no longer safe.no explanation.
*See patterns that no one else notices. Can't unfocus from this useless information.
*Speech is temporarily unavailable.please do not save a message.
*This is my bag of rocks I collected from two years ago. They go click clack and she ne happy. I named the bag Sally.
*Suddenly stimulus
* You have mentioned my special interest. I can no longer focus. Want to hear about the black plague?
*Sleep? I badly know thee
*The Option you just chose is against my routine. I shallproces this betrayal in three days time via meltdown
*Gains two social points for a Good Conversation
Loses seven social points for not understand ing how o leave a party Without Appearing Odd.
* Enjoys time with friends. Takes tree months to recover

 

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I do not know if any of the above is intended to be comical or self amused. It did give me a moment of understanding my friend who's a middle aged asberger/autistic woman.

 

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Honneecombs sounds like you have a significant other and go to a physical church regularly?

 

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I do not know if any of the above is intended to be comical or self amused. It did give me a moment of understanding my friend who's a middle aged asberger/autistic woman.

I related to a majority of it. I think your friend was trying to find humor in what she is going through. Every cloud has a silver lining; so they say.

Reading that post made me think about the spectrum and how Autism is not just a label; but a spectrum that differentiates person by person. Makes you appreciate the little things, and being grateful that I could have it worse.

Blessings,
HC

 

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I am not autistic as far as I know but as a more introverted person I could relate so it's a good way to find Commons ground amongst people with or without a label

 

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Hello all. The new kid in town here. As I've mentioned in past posts, I am a 60 year old retired female. What I had not mentioned was that I have an adult autistic son. He is now 38 years old. He was diagnosed when he was almost two. Totally non-verbal. But he used to have a lunch box filled with plastic letters. One-morning when I got up there on the kitchen table "someone" had spelled out: Walt Disney Productions." I was a single mom at the time so the only other people in the house with me were a seven month old, my autistic son who was not yet two, and my daughter who was four. I didn't yet know of his incredible abilities so all I could think of was someone came in the house while I was asleep!! Very scared. By the end of that day I discovered it was him when I saw him spelling out D'Agostinos which is the name of a grocery store. I'm sure I misspelled it. This beautiful human that I am blessed to call my son has been my gift from God. He has done well. He received his GED as he attended a special school. He is very verbal today thanks to all his wonderful teachers. Currently he attends his program via Zoom due to the pandemic. He is one of the most kind, polite, well-mannered person I have ever met. He is EXTREMELY bright but intelligence was never an issue. At five he could read at an eighth grade level. For him it seems to be a sensory issue. Especially his hearing. Very hypersensitive. My point is that I believe he is quite secure with his life and is very productive. He too is artistically blessed. He developed a comic series years ago and through that I have seen him blossom in other aspects of life. Creativity is something that can really be a life saver. This I know from a personal perspective but that's another whole story. God bless all.

 

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Thank you for sharing and showing us what a loving parent can accomplish

 

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@Honeeecombs I get what you mean about social skills. I think it's an issue for everyone post-pandemic but certainly with my autism I feel it's very much 'use it or lose it' and it's interesting that most of the times I've had big issues have come after a period of not going out a huge amount. Being effectively housebound due to Long Covid has caused me issues in that regard. When I was going in-person to university last year I really noticed it.

 

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@Sci_Fi_Fan: Absolutely my dude. I can totally relate. When I started getting out of the house more; it was probably my lowest of the low. I had issues making eye contact; the medicine I was coming off of from a couple months prior was still affecting myself - and I suffered from involuntary muscle spasms like I couldn't stop moving an area of my body like my hand, arm, legs, or eyes.

I mean maybe my condition worsened because I was isolated for so long; I don't know - but I'm thankful that once I started getting out more I could effectively socialize a little more and more each day.

I still have a hard time with speech and reading others - maybe that stems from trust issues as well. Not 100% sure.

Thank you @Sci_Fi_Fan for responding back, it means alot dude.

Blessings,
HC

 

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@Honeeecombs No worries! Isolation doesn't help, I tend to regress if I'm not keeping my skills up. All I found was that going really long term with a great therapist was key to actually unravelling my issues (almost a year!). Luckily, he did a young person's rate so I was able to afford it.

The issue is there are so many conditions with overlaps and so getting a correct diagnosis can be hard. Plus, autism is often just seen as a problem for kids. I got excited when Vans were doing an autism range of clothes a few years back but only available in kids' sizes.

One thing that has really helped me with autism is a pressure vest.

 

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Could this therapist be a resource for your issues with communication bin the NHS medical community ?
Could try be helpful as a shut in Covid therapy doing zoom meets to continue the social aspect?

 

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@Maymay941 Alas no. That was purely for mental health and I went private.

 

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Sounds like in tis time of limited lifestyle options paying for someone to talk to is almost necessity.
I went into a brick and mortar store yesterday and remembered bit was a ear ago I was in tis department store which once was a weeks occurrence. I order stuff on line now and feel quite awkward vin normal social interactions.vorvwatbtobsnsp on a grocery clerk asking robotically "how are you today?"

 

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@Sci_Fi_Fan: I was in therapy for a while. Mental Health therapy; having to deal with depression, past childhood traumas and the works. It's good when you have a good support system. I'm thankful that I am starting to have that now, now that I'm back into a routine. I'm working 6 hours shifts now; so I suppose thats good.

I did a little research into any autism centers for young adults and found one near myself that I think I may contact soon. Maybe get myself evaluated and explain what's been going on in my life.

Unfortunately I am still without health insurance, so I have to get on that. Maybe if I go to the Autism Center they can help me get on the plans I require. It's funny, I'm smart enough to be able to figure out complex things; but I'm dumb in the sense that I dont know how to get out of holes to figure out things such as health insurance, car insurance, car payments if I'm behind.

It's almost as if I'm scared to do it because I'm also afraid of conflict. The fear from my dad when I was growing up but also being excluded; I'm very "routine" based.

It's hard to explain, idk.

Blessings,
HC