Caring for teenagers

JenniferS

New member
Hey! I’m new here and I’ve been looking for a support group for mothers with children dealing with bedwetting. So hopefully, I found one!

I have two twin children. One boy and one girl. They are both 13 years old. They have consistently been wetting at night ever since they were kids. There have been times it has gotten better, but it’s never gone away.

They have been to the Doctor (pediatrician) and she wasn’t concerned. She says they’ll grow out of it. She did prescribe medicine that “may” be helpful, but it doesn’t help. At what point is this considered incontinence and something they may have to deal with for the rest of their life instead of simple bedwetting that they will grow out of?

They both hate wearing the diapers/pull ups. And finding them ones that fit is a whole other issue as they grow and get older. My son, especially is the one that I worry about. He seems to take the accidents a lot harder than his sister does.

Any advice or encouragement would be most appreciative! Thanks in advance!



If anyone is seeing this in 2 different places! I have yet to figure out how this works or what groups I’m supposed to post in!
 
Hi Jennifer,

I have been in their place - I was wetting the bed frequently through my teens. I do understand their frustration. I was the big boy, did well in school and sports, early in puberty - but still, no bladder control during night. I could wet two times and I had big accidents. So I can relate to the problems your son is facing. I hated the diapers, I hated the humiliation - yet I slept better with them, the worst thing is to wake up in a wet bed or have your sleep disturbed. The bedwetting was the big nightmare of my youth. It still is a bit painful to talk about in general - so forums like these, where people understand are so welcome. I have been to therapy to overcome the trauma - and talking and sharing is one recommended way of dealing with the past.

I was blamed for my wetting and also punished - so whatever you do, be there for them, be kind and understanding. They would be dry instantly if they could… I have had kids with the same problems. So I can understand your frustration as well, it is disturbing your sleep, there is endless laundry. I would go gentle on the diapers - try to let them decide for themselves - but also be clear that they probably would sleep better with diapers - and that is maybe a start on getting over it.

I can imagine your son getting older and bigger - and the male anatomy is not perfect for ill-fitting pull-ups or diapers. The penis is easily close to the leg opening - and peeing like that will most likely leak. I would recommend proper diapers with tapes - if they can come to terms with those. But it is tough to be diapered in puberty with a body that is changing and hormones popping…

They are lucky in a way - that they are two. At least they are not thinking they are the only ones in the world. (I thought I was unique… - I was not…). Any of you (parents) who have struggled - the risk is increasing if the parents have been wetting. If so - share the stories.

Feel free to message me - if you have any questions or thoughts.
 
Hi Jennifer,

I have been in their place - I was wetting the bed frequently through my teens. I do understand their frustration. I was the big boy, did well in school and sports, early in puberty - but still, no bladder control during night. I could wet two times and I had big accidents. So I can relate to the problems your son is facing. I hated the diapers, I hated the humiliation - yet I slept better with them, the worst thing is to wake up in a wet bed or have your sleep disturbed. The bedwetting was the big nightmare of my youth. It still is a bit painful to talk about in general - so forums like these, where people understand are so welcome. I have been to therapy to overcome the trauma - and talking and sharing is one recommended way of dealing with the past.

I was blamed for my wetting and also punished - so whatever you do, be there for them, be kind and understanding. They would be dry instantly if they could… I have had kids with the same problems. So I can understand your frustration as well, it is disturbing your sleep, there is endless laundry. I would go gentle on the diapers - try to let them decide for themselves - but also be clear that they probably would sleep better with diapers - and that is maybe a start on getting over it.

I can imagine your son getting older and bigger - and the male anatomy is not perfect for ill-fitting pull-ups or diapers. The penis is easily close to the leg opening - and peeing like that will most likely leak. I would recommend proper diapers with tapes - if they can come to terms with those. But it is tough to be diapered in puberty with a body that is changing and hormones popping…

They are lucky in a way - that they are two. At least they are not thinking they are the only ones in the world. (I thought I was unique… - I was not…). Any of you (parents) who have struggled - the risk is increasing if the parents have been wetting. If so - share the stories.

Feel free to message me - if you have any questions or thoughts.
One important information - to give them hope: I stopped wetting - and so did my kids - although late. In most cases is stops - but not always. And after some «dry» decades, I am again struggling with some issues.
 
Hi Jennifer,

I have been in their place - I was wetting the bed frequently through my teens. I do understand their frustration. I was the big boy, did well in school and sports, early in puberty - but still, no bladder control during night. I could wet two times and I had big accidents. So I can relate to the problems your son is facing. I hated the diapers, I hated the humiliation - yet I slept better with them, the worst thing is to wake up in a wet bed or have your sleep disturbed. The bedwetting was the big nightmare of my youth. It still is a bit painful to talk about in general - so forums like these, where people understand are so welcome. I have been to therapy to overcome the trauma - and talking and sharing is one recommended way of dealing with the past.

I was blamed for my wetting and also punished - so whatever you do, be there for them, be kind and understanding. They would be dry instantly if they could… I have had kids with the same problems. So I can understand your frustration as well, it is disturbing your sleep, there is endless laundry. I would go gentle on the diapers - try to let them decide for themselves - but also be clear that they probably would sleep better with diapers - and that is maybe a start on getting over it.

I can imagine your son getting older and bigger - and the male anatomy is not perfect for ill-fitting pull-ups or diapers. The penis is easily close to the leg opening - and peeing like that will most likely leak. I would recommend proper diapers with tapes - if they can come to terms with those. But it is tough to be diapered in puberty with a body that is changing and hormones popping…

They are lucky in a way - that they are two. At least they are not thinking they are the only ones in the world. (I thought I was unique… - I was not…). Any of you (parents) who have struggled - the risk is increasing if the parents have been wetting. If so - share the stories.

Feel free to message me - if you have any questions or thoughts.
Very good post and advise. Yes being a lifelong incontinence struggler and EVERY night bedwetter made a teenage guys life stressful beyond what any of us deserve that struggle with a condition out or our control. Yes I know the feeling “like yesterday” of pinning on diapers and pulling on plastic pants every night. Knowing I would sleep well but would always wake up in a soaking wet diaper. Then removing the diaper, taking a quick shower, putting my wet diaper in a pail. After 2-3 days opening my diaper pail was pretty foul and I was expected to wash my diapers whenever I had 3 days worth. I was told to rinse out my plastic pants in the shower and hang them up to dry out. I lived kinda stressed out even at home because anyone that ever sat down on my bed knew I was a bedwetter because of the loud crinkle announcement. Last time I remember this happening was when I was 12 or 13 when a friend sat on my bed and instantly said “why is there plastic on your bed?” Paused a couple seconds obviously seeing the panic in my face then said “oh I know why” thought I’d die. Fortunately we remained good friends for years after that and he never said anything else about it, until. His parents divorced and his home life sucked and he spent almost every weekend at our house, Friday after school to Sunday afternoons. He was like a 4th brother. When we were both driving, so 16, after a couple years of weekends together, the inevitable occurred. “Bob” always slept in a sleeping bag on the floor next to my bed as I had my own tv in my room. Now there was still plastic on my bed and with stacked laundry, trying to hide plastic pants, and trying to hide my diaper pail 🪣 was admittedly not possible but I always convinced myself I had always covered everything up. I’d go into the bathroom late and put my diaper on and wore baggy sweats over them. Crawling into my “noisy” bed, covering up, and telling myself Bob was unaware. Hardly! So one night we were watching tv and he said he was going to take a shower. Once I heard the water running I took the opportunity to pin my diaper on and as I was pulling up my plastic pants he suddenly opened the door as he had forgotten his sweats. He looked at me and simply said sorry, grabbed his sweats and went back to the shower. I felt mortified, crawled into my bed, and just stared at the tv trying to think of what I could do or say. Bob came in from his shower and just climbed into his sleeping bag. We laid there for a couple silent minutes watching tv. Bob then said “hey I know you wear diapers for bedwetting and that’s ok with me” I didn’t know what to say so I just said thanks. His reaction was obviously not a surprise and I always wondered how long he knew I was in diapers every night. His very mature reaction was much appreciated and he never talked about it again. The biggest relief was that I never had to hide my diapers from him again.
 
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