Caring for teenagers

[JenniferS]

Hey! I’m new here and I’ve been looking for a support group for mothers with children dealing with bedwetting. So hopefully, I found one!

I have two twin children. One boy and one girl. They are both 13 years old. They have consistently been wetting at night ever since they were kids. There have been times it has gotten better, but it’s never gone away.

They have been to the Doctor (pediatrician) and she wasn’t concerned. She says they’ll grow out of it. She did prescribe medicine that “may” be helpful, but it doesn’t help. At what point is this considered incontinence and something they may have to deal with for the rest of their life instead of simple bedwetting that they will grow out of?

They both hate wearing the diapers/pull ups. And finding them ones that fit is a whole other issue as they grow and get older. My son, especially is the one that I worry about. He seems to take the accidents a lot harder than his sister does.

Any advice or encouragement would be most appreciative! Thanks in advance!



If anyone is seeing this in 2 different places! I have yet to figure out how this works or what groups I’m supposed to post in!

 

[Allan_59]

Hi Jennifer,

I have been in their place - I was wetting the bed frequently through my teens. I do understand their frustration. I was the big boy, did well in school and sports, early in puberty - but still, no bladder control during night. I could wet two times and I had big accidents. So I can relate to the problems your son is facing. I hated the diapers, I hated the humiliation - yet I slept better with them, the worst thing is to wake up in a wet bed or have your sleep disturbed. The bedwetting was the big nightmare of my youth. It still is a bit painful to talk about in general - so forums like these, where people understand are so welcome. I have been to therapy to overcome the trauma - and talking and sharing is one recommended way of dealing with the past.

I was blamed for my wetting and also punished - so whatever you do, be there for them, be kind and understanding. They would be dry instantly if they could… I have had kids with the same problems. So I can understand your frustration as well, it is disturbing your sleep, there is endless laundry. I would go gentle on the diapers - try to let them decide for themselves - but also be clear that they probably would sleep better with diapers - and that is maybe a start on getting over it.

I can imagine your son getting older and bigger - and the male anatomy is not perfect for ill-fitting pull-ups or diapers. The penis is easily close to the leg opening - and peeing like that will most likely leak. I would recommend proper diapers with tapes - if they can come to terms with those. But it is tough to be diapered in puberty with a body that is changing and hormones popping…

They are lucky in a way - that they are two. At least they are not thinking they are the only ones in the world. (I thought I was unique… - I was not…). Any of you (parents) who have struggled - the risk is increasing if the parents have been wetting. If so - share the stories.

Feel free to message me - if you have any questions or thoughts.

 

[Allan_59]

Hi Jennifer,

I have been in their place - I was wetting the bed frequently through my teens. I do understand their frustration. I was the big boy, did well in school and sports, early in puberty - but still, no bladder control during night. I could wet two times and I had big accidents. So I can relate to the problems your son is facing. I hated the diapers, I hated the humiliation - yet I slept better with them, the worst thing is to wake up in a wet bed or have your sleep disturbed. The bedwetting was the big nightmare of my youth. It still is a bit painful to talk about in general - so forums like these, where people understand are so welcome. I have been to therapy to overcome the trauma - and talking and sharing is one recommended way of dealing with the past.

I was blamed for my wetting and also punished - so whatever you do, be there for them, be kind and understanding. They would be dry instantly if they could… I have had kids with the same problems. So I can understand your frustration as well, it is disturbing your sleep, there is endless laundry. I would go gentle on the diapers - try to let them decide for themselves - but also be clear that they probably would sleep better with diapers - and that is maybe a start on getting over it.

I can imagine your son getting older and bigger - and the male anatomy is not perfect for ill-fitting pull-ups or diapers. The penis is easily close to the leg opening - and peeing like that will most likely leak. I would recommend proper diapers with tapes - if they can come to terms with those. But it is tough to be diapered in puberty with a body that is changing and hormones popping…

They are lucky in a way - that they are two. At least they are not thinking they are the only ones in the world. (I thought I was unique… - I was not…). Any of you (parents) who have struggled - the risk is increasing if the parents have been wetting. If so - share the stories.

Feel free to message me - if you have any questions or thoughts.

One important information - to give them hope: I stopped wetting - and so did my kids - although late. In most cases is stops - but not always. And after some «dry» decades, I am again struggling with some issues.