@ThatFLGuy Sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely, down, and out during Christmas. I was once several days late to my family for Christmas because I had the flu so bad, they wouldn’t let me on the plane in 2003. Eventually I got a friend to drive me to Salt Lake from LA but my clutch went out in small town USA on Christmas Eve night, on the drive. I had to wait for the repair shops to open a couple of days later, after Christmas and the weekend, sleeping in my Camry in 15’F weather with a large male friend while my fever was 103’F. I didn’t have any extra money back then for the clutch repair, so somehow my parents convinced a repair shop to take their credit card over the phone (that was very unusual then; physical card signatures were still checked back then). Eventually I made it home but I was still really sick. I probably should have stayed in LA under the covers, healing - or at the beach!
Unfortunately, not every Christmas can be perfect. Is there any way your car can get inspected beforehand so you can get down there? Why does snow prohibit your car from being inspected? Can your girlfriend drive you? I had no idea you had a girlfriend; congratulations! And it’s great news that your car is fixed at last!
I know you’re very religious, so try to keep your thoughts and feelings focused around what you feel is the true meaning of Christ-mas and hopefully that can help comfort and get you through.
Five weeks ago I got a second degree burn on the back of my left shoulder from a heating bad - should have just taken a damn pill, that’s what I get for trying a natural remedy instead! Anyway, two weeks ago, I needed to bring a bunch of groceries up two flights of stairs because my knees couldn’t handle going up the stairs twice. So I put all the groceries on my shoulder. I tore my left pectorales muscle an inch. Fortunately it’s not bad enough to require surgery. Unfortunately, it’s one of the worst, most acute pains I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s completely distracting and I have to not to use it, which means I’m more physically useless right now than I’d like to be.
Between still having stuff to unpack from my move to the new condo six weeks ago, to my broken enemy knees, to my burn, to my torn peck, I’ve given up on putting up my Christmas decorations - a first in life for me. Instead, yesterday I installed my first ever handicap bars around my place, at the young age of 46 (seems more appropriate for a 76-year-old to me), to help me cope with my knees. Yesterday I had to hire a handyman for the first time in life; I’m used to being able to do everything myself and/or with the boyfriend/husband I always used to have but will now likely never have again thanks to diapers and too many physical and emotional scars.
I’m missing my holiday decor very much, but I can’t stand the idea of adding holiday mess to my unpacking mess, so instead I’m focusing on how liberating it is to not have to spend all the time and energy putting up, then taking down, the holiday decor. I’m watching cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies (not my type of movie!) in the background because those movies are now my decorations; they’re so full of pretty wreaths and stunning trees and people wearing nice holiday sweaters. So just try some ways to think outside the box. Put down the video games and read the Bible, or turn on the Hallmark channel, etc., whatever may help you.
But yes, I acknowledge you’re right that nothing beats family. Why didn’t your parents drive you down to FL when they drove down there?
I will be with my family for half of Christmas day, and for that I’m very grateful. My family is fractured because my brother is so mean - he loves to beat the shit out of me physically and emotionally, as does my dad - so I see my parents in the morning and they see my brother in the evening. Spending Christmas night alone with no holiday dinner the past couple of years has been really hard. But I won’t let my father or brother punch me any more, so I have to leave around 5:00 p.m. I try to find a good movie on the telly and love up with my cat.
So no, not every holiday comes out perfect, but we have to accept and be grateful for what we do have.
For me, the true holiday is Solsticemas on 12/21, the shortest, darkest, worst, most depressing day of the year, because from there, it’s uphill for at least the next six months until 6/21, the longest day of the year. I always watch the sun rise and set on 12/21 and spend some time in nature. This year I’m also taking my mom to see a live performance of “The Nutcracker” on the afternoon of the Solstice - tickets I earned by volunteering many hours for the ballet.
So merry Solsticemas to you (it’s on Wednesday), and happy/all-the-holidays as well. It will all be over in eight days and we can all make it through the next eight days!
