Back in full diapers 5 months after surgery

[Archives1]

This post is one which I never thought I would have to write since I was improving after having a green light laser prostate reduction. I got to the point where I had gone from pads to plain underwear for two weeks, then I had to go back to pads for a while. Two days ago, I needed to go back to overnight diapers instead of heavy absorption pads. Then I ended up going pack to diapers 24/7 yesterday, after multiple full voids before making it to the restroom each time. Emotionally, I feel like a "bad boy" for wetting myself because people sometimes hear that as a child during the toilet training process.

At my 4 month follow-up with my urologist, he and I agreed that everything is great so doing what I was doing seemed to be working. I can only surmise, but possibly two factors have come into play... I came down with the flu which is throwing my body out of whack, or the decision to start trying to have intercourse has interrupted my progress. I don't know what my urologist will say, but I have a feeling that I will be put back on the medication which dehydrates me like crazy, making it nearly impossible to breathe; the main reason I had the prostate reduction when my urethra was constricted.

A surgery that was extremely painful seems to have been a waste...

 

[Archives1]

So sorry you are going through this. I can’t relate as my issues are ptsd related but just know that you are doing great just by reaching out and trying different things.

I know the feeling though of being dry for awhile during the day and then something random happens and your back in diapers 24/7. It’s such a blow to the self esteem and sometimes it just hurts when you were on a course of progress.

What I can tell you, is for me, the stress of being sick makes my incontinence worse every time

 

[Archives1]

So sorry to hear about your disappointment. I had the flu in October last year and could not hold anything. Also, you might want to hold off a little bit longer on the intimacy stuff. Takes the body 6 months to heal on the cellular level no matter what. Good Luck.

 

[Archives1]

Sorry I can't relate directly to your experience. The only comment I would make is your reference to being " a bad boy" like a child might have been. Very poor parenting I would call that and you should not feel like that for what is simply the outcomes of illness. Most of us in this site are in that position and it is not our fault. I wish you success in your follow up treatment

 

[Archives1]

@MAM I have nothing to offer but good wishes for speedy improvements. Maybe some encouragement that things were going well and you can get back to that. Only way to win is to keep fighting. Best of luck to you.

 

[Archives1]

I feel your disappointment in your words and I want to put a virtual arm on your shoulder and give virtual support as have the other responders today. I hope you and your medical support folk can determine a way forward for you that gets you at least back to where you were. I know that feeling that you have somehow failed both yourself and your loved ones and no matter how many times you tell yourself that’s not so, you still feel that way. I hope for you that this feeling fades in time, and that those around you give lots of love and support. All the bes.

 

[Archives1]

@MAM, peace I agree with @dustmaker 1000%, life is hard. It has gotten harder. There are always stuff there to make it harder. The world today has changed I have to say not for the best. However remember all this stuff is temporary, it is not eternal. The lord loves us all and has given us the gift of life. We live so much better than the rest of the world. Be grateful you live here. Lots of support your way. Take one day at a time. I get disgusted, I have the blues and going for a walk now. Things happen. Pray for peace and joy. Happiness you have someone who cares for you. It is such a blessing.

 

[Archives1]

I'm so sorry to hear your struggles and fully understand your disappointment - but being back in diapers isn't the end of the world. I can ensure to you - I'm UIC (dribble and urge incontinence) and have to wear protection 24/7 - that with wearing according products it's still possible to live an absolutely normal, happy and social life without limitations. Keep your head up, try to accept things which you cannot change, hope for the best that it's only temporary and even if in worst case if it's not, life stays still great!

 

[Archives1]

I feel as if some people who responded to this post were a little harsh. I understand that not everyone can relate, but some of the comments were along of the lines of "suck it up and move on". Maybe the forums have changed to how to gain more information about products and procedures, instead of a community of support. Not all comments were harsh, but just saying... I was just merely venting out of extreme frustration because I was promised my incontinence problems would be fixed and I would be able to avoid a severe infection from retention. I guess diapers are better than becoming deathly ill....

 

[Archives1]

I totally understand your posts and your take on some other people’s posts. However, I think you are deeply internally frustrated with the way things reversed on yourself and just deeply disappointed. I believe MAM you need to fully grieve your loss and then heal. I surely pray for yourself that you are able to once again experience just plain boxers or underwear and avoid any absorbent products like you had been a month ago for like 2 weeks. That must have felt amazing and then to have it slide away so quickly once again super frustrating. I pray for you a speedy recovery and resolution that achieves your desired results. May the spirits (heavenly or other)assist you.

Cheers

Jason

 

[Archives1]

I can identify with your feelings and for certain I don't think anyone on this forum would minimise the emotional impact. I am one year post radical prostatectomy and still leak. I understand perfectly how stressful incontinence can be and I'm sure everyone does. Trying not to allow it to define who you are or allowing it to prevent you from doing the things you want to do is the challenge. Of course there are days when you will feel like surrendering. Other days you feel you are managing things better.

 

[Archives1]

MAM, for sure I can feel with you and your frustration! Must be really depressing if all the outcome of a complicated, maybe painful surgery is not the expected one. I think from a pure medical point of view only very, very few of us could give a really qualified comment to you.
The only thing I could try to give a very little support is in overthinking your depressed feeling and encourage you that even if the bad case happens (you stay more or less incontinent) live can still be very enjoyable and doesn't have to continue in frustration. I wish you really all the best that together with you urologist you can find a solution which enhances your condition, but in the end there might be no other solution than to accept somehow things which cannot be changed and try to make the best out of it! And in such a process we all with our similar condition of any kind incontinence and all our experiences how to handle and live with it, all our doubts, sorrows, ups and downs might be also a little help for you!