Anxiety, Stress, and all public changing.

[Archives1]

May marks one year of dealing with all of thing stuff 24/7 but if I am being honest it was going on before then I just did not connect the dots. The past few days have given me a lot of time to think. I found that I deal with anxiety and stress in a few ways that could be looked out as destructive. I sit around because I am too sore to do much else. I eat junk food and I have put on ten pounds since this started. Truly, I don't feel like any improvement has been made from the physical therapy side of things and neither does my therapist which is why the Defecography (proctography) test has been ordered and the Anal Electromyography (EMG) has been talked about as well.

Being on lockdown with this virus gave me time to think. I can accept if this is my life but it does cause me anxiety. I want to get back to normal and then this virus knocked me down so I have to stay home.

If pain and all the other issue were not a problem I would have used some of this time to finish my Masters's degree but that is not an option without massive changes to time limits with classes. (Tests are timed and I cannot stay sitting in my office seat for very long.) That being said being this close to being done with my master's degree upsets me.

The big thing that came up last physical therapy session is how much this has affected my life. I went from being very social to staying home all of the time unless I am shopping for food.

That is not okay with my therapist. I need to be active but she understands my apprehension. What we are going to work on this year is finding my limits and addressing them to my doctors so that we are all on the same team with my care.

The one issue that is going to need to be addressed this year is the issue with pain. I don't feel that enough has been done about this and the Tylenol is not helping.

I am taking steps to be able to get out of the house more. The issue is that I have real issues with changing out in public. I learned how bad it could be during Christmas.

I hope to get a better idea about how long this is going to be this way but still stressing me out.

 

[Archives1]

ThatFLGuy" Hey FL!
You make it sound like your using internet for classes. Does that mean you can't talk to the Professor and make arrangements? I had one, in school, that split the test in two for a fellow student. There were "safeguards" to prevent any cheating.
Not sure of Florida law, but FL is a super-conservative state. Is CBD legal? Some comes with the claim of no THC. It isn't super painkiller, but better than tylenol, for me. But anything is better than Tylenol, as it does nothing for me. Ibupropen was my go-to, but Doc says it thins blood too much & I'm already on a blood thinner.

 

[Archives1]

ThatFLGuy" Hey FL!
You make it sound like your using internet for classes. Does that mean you can't talk to the Professor and make arrangements? I had one, in school, that split the test in two for a fellow student. There were "safeguards" to prevent any cheating.
Not sure of Florida law, but FL is a super-conservative state. Is CBD legal? Some comes with the claim of no THC. It isn't super painkiller, but better than tylenol, for me. But anything is better than Tylenol, as it does nothing for me. Ibupropen was my go-to, but Doc says it thins blood too much & I'm already on a blood thinner.

Well I live in PA. Now and school was almost all online but I tried to get through my master's but it was too much with everything else going on.

I have never messed with CBD... Did get high once back in 2009 when my roommate decided to eat all my deer tacho meat and I retaliated by eating what I thought was oatmeal chocolate chip cookies but were actually weed cookies. It was long day of crazy stuff and I have never messed with it since. I cannot have anything that would add to constipation so don't know about any of the CBD stuff.

 

[Archives1]

Sorry, FLGuy. Let me change that to: Not sure of PA laws, or anywhere else besdies Alaska law. CBD doesn't make you high. The THC component of pot/hemp is the culprit. Ask yourself: since the DEA calls pot a drug in the classification of heroin, if there was pot in CBD, they'd be on it like stink on S***. Because the DEA or whatever government acronym that checks the purity, use, etc of drugs doesn't cover "OTCs", which is what CBD is classified as in states not controlled by the conspiracy theorists, Consumer Reports suggests you have to do your own Due Diligence. Like, look for certain seals for testing agencies/labs or "certifiers". That leaves us with the need to decide who to trust.
Consumer Reports, in a recent issue, announced they are starting a study to determine if CBD brands contain what they said they do, at the strength they say they have, and - I think - if there are any chemicals we should know about, contaminents or otherwise.
Not sure of all the facets of the study, and it is NOT a study such as the DEA makes a Pharma Company go through for a new RX drug - like the Covid19 vaccines. So, it isn't a study to determine if it works as advertised, with a double-blind study, peer-review, etc.
Yes, I agree. We need those studies. But our citizens who elect out congress people, want their OTCs and don't want the Feds messing with them. Yikes. I better stop there.
I was desperate enough, have absolutely no desire to use Opiates if I can possibly avoid them, and tried CBD. Others have too. I didn't and won't use Facebook to research it. I'd be very suspicious of anything found by using Google, and check the validity of whatever link they give.
Good luck. Here's wishing you well.

 

[Archives1]

Sorry, FLGuy. Let me change that to: Not sure of PA laws, or anywhere else besdies Alaska law. CBD doesn't make you high. The THC component of pot/hemp is the culprit. Ask yourself: since the DEA calls pot a drug in the classification of heroin, if there was pot in CBD, they'd be on it like stink on S***. Because the DEA or whatever government acronym that checks the purity, use, etc of drugs doesn't cover "OTCs", which is what CBD is classified as in states not controlled by the conspiracy theorists, Consumer Reports suggests you have to do your own Due Diligence. Like, look for certain seals for testing agencies/labs or "certifiers". That leaves us with the need to decide who to trust.
Consumer Reports, in a recent issue, announced they are starting a study to determine if CBD brands contain what they said they do, at the strength they say they have, and - I think - if there are any chemicals we should know about, contaminents or otherwise.
Not sure of all the facets of the study, and it is NOT a study such as the DEA makes a Pharma Company go through for a new RX drug - like the Covid19 vaccines. So, it isn't a study to determine if it works as advertised, with a double-blind study, peer-review, etc.
Yes, I agree. We need those studies. But our citizens who elect out congress people, want their OTCs and don't want the Feds messing with them. Yikes. I better stop there.
I was desperate enough, have absolutely no desire to use Opiates if I can possibly avoid them, and tried CBD. Others have too. I didn't and won't use Facebook to research it. I'd be very suspicious of anything found by using Google, and check the validity of whatever link they give.
Good luck. Here's wishing you well.

Pa. is very relaxed in terms of the law regarding pot and CDB. You can get both up here and the local CVS even carries CBD stuff. My big thing is that I try not to take things the alter my state of mind. From both a religious standpoint and person, it is not something I try to do unless no other option works.

That being said, I am going to be doing a lot of homework on what is best for me because this is not working. I sit on my coutch because my right side hurts so bad that even walking is to much.

 

[Archives1]

Be very careful, and check the limits of your disability payments. After my accident I went back to finish another Masters because I was so bored and I received a call from one of the idiot councilors, the week before finals. They told me if I completed my finals I could lose my disability payments & insurance! Of course only after accepting full tuition for all of my classes! Be careful, it’s extraordinarily frustrating.
The guidelines I received from my attorney were if you could sit in an office and monitor a security camera at a grocery store, then they could rule you no longer disabled.
I find this terribly limiting especially younger people with their whole lives ahead of them. One of my brothers owned a successful building company 20+ years ago and after falling from a roof breaking his back & pelvis was forced to find a new way to earn a living. He even received tuition assistance! He went on to a successful career in finance, but now our government does not allow you to better yourself, actually penalizes you for working hard to overcome your disability... Extremely frustrating!

 

[Archives1]

That FLGuy: What you are going through is unbelievable (as in, it shouldn't be necessary or even happening). I (and others here) are incredibly concerned for you.
Sprung87: I had a co-worker (as Admin for the Union, I knew more about his case). He was disabled by MS and forced off the job by the US Coast Guard. That put him on state disability, and an un-nessesary "fight" with the state & the department/HR of his workplace. Then, when he reached the monetary limit, he got put on Social Security disability with an incredible fight with them. Then the State demanded repayment of some of his disability under the theory he should have gone off the state's and on the Federal disability earlier. What saved him with the Feds was the discovery of a "secret" Federal order requiring the Disability to deny all first applications, period. Thank you, whistle blower. Thank you State run medical/disability for putting out not only the news, but a pamphlet on how to force the Feds to pay.
His dad hired him for a desk job. After nearly a year, the State told him he made too much money and said they were taking him disability (so he would lose the Federal), so his dad had to fire him so he could make more money on disability. Not that Disability was a fortune. My Lord, what a saga!
So, your warning is appropriate. Not sure, but I think Social Security was forced by lawyers to rescind the order. Thank you for bringing it up for everyone here.

 

[Archives1]

The worst part of this is my Wife and I are out of pocket a huge amount of money and “Major Insurer” (I use this because we are in a big lawsuit) raised my premiums to over $55,000.00 per year to get rid of me and no other insurance will insure me now other than Medicare! Be very careful with your insurance, because you now have an Insurance Score similar to your credit score.
People have repeatedly told me to get on Obamacare or AFA, and I’m told they will start selling new policies soon. The problem with this is there are no doctor’s accepting the ACA plans here in the Raleigh, NC area. My wife & I have been listed with the 3 major healthcare providers here for over 4 years to get in, not a single call back...

 

[Archives1]

So just a bit of the run down.

I am on medicare based insurance through the hospital I go to.

I get disability income from insurance I had from my last job (Can last up to two years so May, or Oct 2022).

I get $204 per month in food stamps.

I got dept. forgiveness from the hospital due to a charity grant.

My parents have helped me a lot.

If and when my condition leads to the need for a social security disability claim my insurance will use my current claim to aid me in an ssd claim.

I want to go back to work but I get only a short time of being upright each day.

In just the past hour I have had five bowel movements and had to run each time.

My physical therapist is doing her best to get me back to normal but progress is at a standstill.

There is nothing I could do within my now gone job, no accommodations would have made it so I could do what I was hired for or even another job function in that job.

As far as pain goes there is nothing that I can take or do to not be in pain. I shake if I am up for more than a few minutes. (Even when I shop I lean on the buggy for support and only shop for <30 minutes)

This time of day my bowels are so bad that I don't go anywhere unless I have to.

With covid, My life has become shut-in until I am cleared to go back to physical therapy.

As far money goes I am doing okay. I hope that this year I get more answers no matter what they mean.

The big thing for me is trying to stop worrying about having accidents while out and learning to deal with them.

I have not been going out because when I am like I am now I don't want to risk having to clean up a full bowel accident. I don't get much time and I cannot hold it once it is time so I map out my time and know every bathroom for everywhere I go but I am still too worried to go out when I feel like I do. So I just stay in but that is not living life and I want to live life.

This year is going to be about accepting the new normal that is my life.