Advice wanted-personal recommendations

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This morning I had a spurt or gush as soon as I woke up so im just going to switch to pullups/depends from now on, overnight into the daytime and see if that solves the issue. I can't fully blame the bladder because the issue seems to be more in the urethral/sphincter area. Wearing at night is tricky and since im a side sleeper that will add a challenge. Since I don't have external plumbing, some of these techniques won't work.

As for your question Phil6003, when you wear a skirt it is a lot easier to put a pull-up on, but even in a stall it is do-able, just tricky. Its just one leg first, then the other, pull it up.I have done full Abena diaper changes in public bathrooms before and that is more challenging, arguably. I'm sure pull-ups will handle the problem thank you everyone.

 

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Thanks Teddy for sharing-I will share this with my sweetie-tey to get him to do some exercises for his bladder-he exercises everyday, but as we get up there-they are some we have to add.

 

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No problem,if I could help in any way please don't hesitate, take care

 

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TY

 

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I just talked to him about it and he asked me how do you pull in your penis? I have no idea-he said he is able to get it to move a little. Any suggestions-I will pas them on.

 

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You know when a turtle pull it's head in well try doing this with the penis,now listen,I know it won't go in like a turtle does but it will budge slightly,the way to do this is when you try to pull your muscles in to stop urinate, hold it in for 10 seconds and wait 5 seconds and do this 15 times 3 times a day, this is one of the best exercises ( maybe not for others but for me it's the best),try it,you won't have results instantly but you will in about 2 weeks, take care

 

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Thanks Teddy-I copied your explanation -sent it to him though email. Wonderful-blessings-I do my kegels and they help a lot. I need to do them more often which I have started to do and it helps-really helps big time.

 

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Don't over do it,not more than 45 a day, I disciplened my self of what I drink like pop I cut it off and acid drinks like orange juice I take it half with water and also drink a lot of water during the day

 

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he is not that discipline, I am most of the time. Got off my diet but back on it again. thanks. I will let him know. Blessings-stay well.

 

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No problem, take care

 

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@Phil6003 While sitting on the toilet or standing, I take off one leg, then put the new pull-up and pant leg back on, then do the same on the other side. I rarely wear shoes with laces so it’s very easy. I had to learn a lot of clothes-changing tricks (like how to put a new shirt on under a prior shirt, without exposing anything) because I had a very active social and professional life in Hollywood and went from event to event to event most nights of the week, requiring different styles of clothing.

 

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@Koigal I’m a side sleeper, female, and pull-ups work just fine for me at night.

 

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@snow Thank you for the input and time. It seems we have quite a bit in common concerning bladder issues interestingly. If I may ask you, do you wear 24 hours? Have you had any skin issues wearing day and night together if so? My last question was were they able to disgnose why you are having issues with your bladder? I'm making the switch tonight after too many leaks, and I'm glad to know some OTC brands will help.

 

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I will soon reply to your DM I always wear pull-ups at night, and sometimes in the day, like if I’m going on a long walk and won’t have access to a restroom (also because walking is an OAB trigger for me). I also wear one if I’m seeing a movie in a theater. I’ve trained myself to make peeing the first and last thing I do when I get to a cafe or a store. I’ve memorized which stores and fast food chains have bathrooms if I need to use one while driving. I try to drive on surface streets rather than the freeway, in case I need to pee at a fast food joint.

Kegels have helped me with the transitions in positions, like going from sitting to standing. I’m so sorry Kegels make incontinence worse for you. As for pads, I just don’t trust them. I’ve worn them often, but as I’m sure you know, they get all wadded up and folded. Oh, how I miss being able to wear cute panties instead of grandma underwear!!! I haven’t dated seriously (for a number of reasons, but incontinence is on the top of the list) in the 6.5 years since my incontinence began. Nobody wants to be peed on in the middle of the night, and no man is going to find a woman in a diaper physically attractive. I avoid that potential rejection like the plague.

I’m not constantly in daytime pull-ups, for which I’m grateful. Yes, I do sometimes get a rash/irritation where the elastic hits my thigh/groin. There are many posts here that you can search for - maybe terms like “rash,” or “barrier cream” - for suggestions of which products may help you. I’ve tried baby powder; didn’t help much. I should ask my dermatologist next time I see him. I do think I get more irritation by wearing pull-ups in the day, because of the friction that ensues when walking/moving around, compared to say, laying in bed asleep at night. I’ve tried wearing a larger (actually comfortable!) size, but then they leak. So I wear a slightly tight size.

One of the most liberating concepts I’ve accepted, thanks to the crew here on the forum, is that diapers are a tool, like eyeglasses, or a walker. They enable us to engage life more fully. We’re so lucky to live during a time when we have access to such a great variety of products. In the 1800s, an incontinent woman would just have to sit on a pile of newspapers all day, to catch her pee (and not everyone could afford newspapers!). I’m so grateful for our product options and this forum.

Before I joined the forum, I rarely left the house for 2-3 years because I was so ashamed of my incontinence and diapers. I totally withdrew from my social life - and I’m typically an extrovert and very social. I’m happy to say that thanks to people here, I feel more normal now, and live a relatively full life. I just went on a much-needed vacation to CA for three weeks. I drove 2,700 miles total, and stayed with five different sets of friends. I put my bedpads on the mattresses and wore my pull-ups, and didn’t hide it from my peeps. I took my diapers out to the garbage every day, just like I do at home. Nobody was scared to let me sleep on their bed. It was verrrrrrry liberating. They were all accepting. I tried to take a similar trip five years ago and was paralyzed with secrecy and anxiety. I’m so relieved to be in a healthier place, in terms of coping. I know you’ll get there also, with time

 

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Thank you for your post, and I am starting to see that its no different from someone wearing braces or glasses. Honestly at this point I've debated on telling a few coworkers because it doesn't really matter what they think.

Its very ironic how things can fluctuate with incontinence on a mental level. I used to get away with using moderate to heavier pads but in all honestly it is a HUGE headache worrying about if the pad will do the trick(and lately its been failing, I'm thankful I always wear darker pants)

After 2 days ago having my pad leak through *heaviest absorbancy Poise* I have decided enough is enough and its time to make a switch. I am a little leery of wearing at night *mostly dribbles usually but the past few days have been shot glass size leaks* but frankly I really should accept how things are at this point. I can't really get away with wearing pads even at home right now but I also have issues with heat intolerance which means I'm drinking more.

Fingers crossed for answers. The good news on my end is I moved near Mayo Clinic area for answers and I bet once insurance kicks in I may have them. I just need to adjust and be patient now, but incontinence isn't the end of the us.

 

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Yayyyyyyy, for the Mayo Clinic!!!!!!

 

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@Phil6003 While sitting on the toilet or standing, I take off one leg, then put the new pull-up and pant leg back on, then do the same on the other side.

@snow - thanks so much for this tip. It sounds so easy, but it simply hadn't occurred to me until I read your explanation.

Also - even more so - thanks for sharing your experience of taking a holiday and sleeping at the houses of friends.

For someone like me, who hasn't slept away from home since my prostate surgery over four years ago (and can't really imagine ever doing so) your experience is valuable.

With a bit of courage (and planning) it really is possible to live a full life, even with incontinence.

 

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Mentally it takes time to adjust to your "new" body arguably, and by that I mean incontinence. I was quick to wear pads at first years ago, but I disliked pullups and diapers. I know if you are wanting to get better at taking pullups on and off, its good to practice at home until you get really good at it. In time, it isn't as bad though.

 

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Thanks @koigal. Really good advice to practice at home. Half the anxiety of managing a pad change away from home is lack of confidence using different products in a different setting.
If I can't change the setting, at least getting confident with the product is one way of feeling more in control.
Oh, and I just realised that changing a pull-up using @snow's method means that the fresh one can be in position even before removing the used one - so much less risk of humiliating leaks onto my clothes mid-change.
Brilliant!

 

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You and I will both be practicing then. This morning has been a lot less stressful than normal wearing a pullup so to a degree I wonder if there isn't a psychological or anxiety element to it. Being worry-free beats less protection and worrying about accidents more, so in this case I will be making a permanent switch as long as my skin doesn't break out. Time will tell. Thank you everyone for your tips.