Welcome to the forum. I hope and I am convinced that you will be treated better here. Opening up to incontinence problems is not easy. Online you should feel safe to share what is bothering you, to put things out of your mind, to seek acceptance and understanding from people with the same problem.
But i think you should to seek help. It seems like incontinence has a major impact on your life, and it shouldn't. There are many options for dealing with this and your doctor can help you. I understand your hesitation, and it was difficult for me too to talk to my doctor. It was a great relief when I did that. I was taken seriously and that felt very good. Because of shame, incontinence is often a lonely problem. Sharing it with someone who supports you really helps tackle this problem.