There and back again.

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Disability has a way of draining you of things that made you, you. I have been through hell and back again. The fight is not over.

I have had quite a few conversations with my parents and family about all things medical with me.

I have taken enough time to fully recover from my Ostomy getting closed up and I am back in the same hell I was in that led to the idea of an ostomy in the first place.

Now the big issue is still the same. I have not seen my main Gastroenterology doctor since January 2023. I am on every list of cancellations, etc. that I can be—still, no calls or anything.

Last time I had to force the issue to get seen.


So, Monday is the last chance for the hospital I have been going to. I like my surgery but that is it.

I am not waiting around with them anymore.

I have a list of things that have to be tested for and whoever/wherever will do them is where I am going.

 

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I am praying that God will bring change to this situation.

 

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@ThatFLGuy - Me too. I will put you on my prayer list. This cannot continue. - Pam

 

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@Pammy53 @jeffswet

Thanks.

I have a lot on my mind and plate right now, hence why I have not posted. *I have done enough ranting here*

After a lot of talk with my parents and family today I have decided that if things don't work out by mid-day tomorrow then I will be calling the other hospital I got opinions from last year.

I will be upfront with them that if they want a test that requires putting me under then I will have to stay overnight at the hospital. I have to be able to drive myself home. It is too much on others to drive 2+ hours to a different hospital just for me to go under for a test.

It will be different if my parents are in town.

A lot of the talk today was about how I am doing/feeling. I have been hiding and masking how bad I feel again. I don't do well once I eat anything.

Almost the whole rest of the year is going to be about getting things down that should have been.

There are so many tests that should have been done that were not and I want answers. Or doctors have to tell me right out that there is nothing that they can do and this is my life.

A lot of my depression is doctors, and having to almost get a lawyer involved to get seen by X hospital.

I do not even have another appointment set up with any doctor until next year.

That is not okay but I really did not push it because I knew I needed time to heal up from my Ostomy getting undone back in October of last year.

Now I have to get seen as things are back to being pure hell again.