Stress levels !!

[Inco24seven]

Hi I was wondering how fellow incontinence sufferers cope with changing a wet pad whilst they are are out . Quite often I have pushed changing a wet diaper to the limit of it's absorbency level so that I can change at home , although I always have a spare Tena slip in my bag , just in case. However a months ago after a major wetting incident I decided to change my diaper. I found a clean disabled toilet, WITH a working Radar key , I thought that was a result I was quickly setting about to change my very wet Tena Slip I had my joggers down to my feet just about to do a quick change and then a woman opens the locked door she obviously saw the lot , me with a diaper, on this left nothing to the imagination . She very very quickly shut the door again and shouted out "very sorry" ! I hope she was suitably embarrassed I was absolutely mortified. That incident really devastated my self worth. I know this wasn't intentional on her behalf but I don't think I will be changing in public for a long time. Think I would take a chance on an already soaked diaper !!! This still really makes me cringe with embarrassment even several months later. Law of averages this wasn't the first time an incontinent person was caught like this. But I had taken all the correct measures and this still happens

 

[Eden98]

Although I have never been caught changing my diaper, I totally understand the shame. The noise the tabs make when loosening and fastening, stuffing the used diaper in a trash bag, and disposing of the used diaper, it's all very shameful.
Although I have been incontinent for many years, I don't like to carry around a used diaper too long. It's just gross and in public men’s restrooms there are often no trash bins at all. So pushing the capacity of the diaper is very relatable. For years I used a booster pad in addition to my diaper and with this I only had to change in the morning and the evening, at home. The booster pads however are not covered in insurance and due to higher costs of living I am not able to buy them anymore. Which means I have to change at least once, sometimes twice a day at work. Everytime going to the toilet with a diaper bag is not an option in order to keep it a secret. But being open about it is neither an option, it’s quite a macho men dominated business i work. My boss knows though and when i have a #2 accident i can go home to clean and change.
In a public restroom though, I don't care much if others might suspect I am changing my diaper, or see me dispose of a big trash bag after I leave a stall.

 

[Inco24seven]

Hi Eden 98 thanks very much for your kind reply. The NHS here in the UK covers most of my incontinence needs, it's NOT free because I have been paying into the system since I was sixteen until I retired .. But saying that I get an allowance of X amount of diapers per month per in my case Tena Slip maxi approx. six bags 6 x 24 diapers. I didn't get choose the Tena Slips the continence clinic in each UK region allocate certain diapers so because I am a heavy wetter day and night I get given the Tena Slip maxi. I also use a booster pad ( again from the continence clinic ) this absorbs a fair bit of urine but not loads more for a backup . However I use plastic pants at night and large nappy sacs to help with the disposal of my soiled pads etc. this i buy off Amazon. I find the plastic pants a great help overnight .
If I'm out I nearly always have my backpack with me containing a fresh diaper and a couple of extra nappy sacs both essential for an emergency change. So far I have never been asked what I have in my backpack. If asked I would be honest with my reply but more than a little embarrassed about it. A few of my very close friends know about my wetting issues and I want to keep it that way. I was VERY UNHAPPY when I was found to be changing a wet pad. I hope that woman who walked in on me was hugely embarrassed , just like I still am
But all this because I just happened to have lost my bladder control. After more than six years of being incontinent I should be able to laugh all this off. No chance if anything I am even more paranoid about being found out. Regards from me in the UK

 

[Eden98]

I am 50 years old and have had incontinence issues since my mid 30th and got my diaper for over 10 years from health insurance. I live in the Netherlands and here the urologist classifies the level of incontinence and together with a continence nurse, years ago, we determined what works best for me. I am at the highest level for patients who can take care of themself. Basically I can get what I need , which in my case is 3 Tena Ultima Slip diapers per day. I asked about booster pads but according to my continence nurse it is not favorable for my skin to use a diaper that long. I am also still ashamed and it took me years to accept my condition. But I had so many wetting accidents in public and among friends that finding the right incontinence product is a big improvement for quality of life.

Did you know the woman who saw you? If not, I wouldn't be too worried. If yes it might be a good moment to lose some shame and tell what has happened to you. It’s a medical condition no one asked for and probably more people will understand as we think. Out of shame I isolated myself and lost many friends over the years. Sometimes I think it might be best to let everyone know. After all, it defines my life in a big way and keeping it a secret feels sneaky and lonesome. Incontinence is a hidden disability.

 

[Inco24seven]

Hi , no I don't know the woman who came across me in the toilet that is a good thing. The Tena slips are a very good product they allow me to live a normal life if more than a little wet. I would be delighted to lose the shame of wearing incontinence protection but I'm not holding out too much hope. A little more warning with my incontinence would be very nice. Anyway it's late for me so I will be going to be now, that means a clean Tena slip with a booster and because it's overnight a pair of waterproof pants . I only changed this Tena slip i have on now less than a few hours ago because I was soaked and now I find myself wet once again. It's all go being incontinent !!! At least I don't have a urine rash to worry about, I haven't had a rash to worry about for at least two or three months so that could be worse.

 

[ltapilot]

Giving up the shame about incontinence is very difficult. I've worn diapers intermittently for most of my life (since I was 16, which was about 40 years ago), and I still feel deeply ashamed of my incontinence. I can tell myself all I want that is not my fault, that it's not a character flaw, that they're just different underwear, and that nobody cares. All these things are true, but I still feel shame if others find out about my incontinence or see me in a diaper.

I recently had my bag searched for the first time ever. I had a cardiac test at a hospital radiology department, and they had a security guard and a metal detector at the entrance. He looked in the main compartment, which has all my ostomy supplies, and didn't search further once he realized that it was full of medication stuff. I was relieved that he didn't open the compartment with my incontinence supplies.

It's strange that I don't care at all about people finding out that I have an ostomy and have to poop in a bag, but I'm ashamed that people might find out that I'm incontinent and have to wear a diaper. It seems like I should react the same way to both of those, but I don't.