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To: May Mcneal


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Woman Writes Hilarious Letter To Maxi Pad Company
August 5th, 2015

By Patricia Lynn
Contributor at Shareably
The following is an actual letter written by a woman named Wendi Aarons. She lives in Austin, Texas, and she sent the letter
 
Cant cut and paste although it will to my home e mail.
The point is that she suffers great discomfort monthly but the last straw was not the advertising of women jogging on a beach in white pants or salsa dancing but an advertising bit of tape on the pad telling her to "have a nice period".
Not dissimilar to the new brightly colored polka dot diapers that i reviewed to say, " not everyone wants to look like they stuffed a circus clown down their pants" (although on further reflection i recall some mens boxers and some women's thongs look as though a peacock lost a tail feather in those britches.)
 
I agree, many don't want to put on a show, then there are times personally I don't care, as my caretaker told me I looked fine, and we went out. But I do know if I was to have monthly periods, I would want to be protected as I'm when leaking pee

I thought that company that told Women to have a nice period kinda told me they were smug, and needed a rebuttal
 
I always felt bad for women to have to go through that and we’re something to keep them protected from leaks!! Then since my UI started I kind of understand that it’s just a necessity of life and you find a way to manage and be comfortable!! So Ya I’m more of a go’r than a show’r!! Get it get it 😝 oh that was bad!!!! But honestly I did buy some of the blue and green Northshore supreme lite diapers with the white dots on them and I will say this they don’t look like the typical white diaper and aren’t as noticeable when the inevitable diaper peak happens!! 🥴 I don’t like the printed diapers but these aren’t over the top and they are a great diaper!!
 
I think I found a copy of the letter May was referring to:

http://wendiaarons.com/2007/03/as-seen-on-mcsweeneysnet.html


An Open Letter to James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Proctor and Gamble
by Wendi // March 5, 2007

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Originally published on McSweeneys.net
 
Holly crap that is awesome!!!!!! She has definitely had enough and is in no mood for anyone who thinks they can try to make her day a little better!! Not being a woman I can’t fully sympathize but nevertheless I can understand how something so miserable needs to be taken seriously and not make those who suffer from it feel like companies are being condescending towards them. All that being said we also need to find humor in our struggles or we will really go crazy!! So Wendi you are Hilarious and a champ for sticking up for what you believe!!Kudos
 
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