New member -- hi!

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Glad you all are here. Just joining the discussions forum today and am not sure where to begin. 70-year-old woman who would like to be active but have been staying home for a few years because I'm mortified when the leaks come. They come out of nowhere, I don't even feel them. Diagnosed with stress incontinence, and the leaks are far worse when I either do strenuous work/exercise or have an event I'm anxious about. Moderate leaks, my phys. therapist said. No physical issues except diastasis recti.

Had phys. therapy and am doing the set of Kegel and "beyond Kegel" exercises I learned there. Also take Detrol and a bit of Estradiol cream, and have cut caffeine and alcohol way down. The Kegels and breathing help until they don't, and then I feel hopeless. I have a trip next month to attend a wedding across the country, and I'll be staying with friends. They'll be driving me everywhere for about 10 days, and I'm very anxious about how to cope with packing (supplies plus wedding clothes plus hot-weather vacation clothes), disposing of used bulky pads and underwear while staying with friends, and having to ask them to stop or visit bathrooms/stores when I need more pads or leakage undies.

Haven't yet found a reliable leak-absorbing product. Because of all this, I last year missed the big retirement trip to Alaska my husband and I signed up for (the trip of a lifetime that we planned -- and paid for -- and now I'm afraid to take this trip to attend a wedding. Thank you all, and I hope you're finding ways to live with incontinence.

 

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Welcome! You are not alone I'm sure in the situations of your friends. Strongly advise pull ups with a pad and plastic bags to dispose of the stuff as needed.
I like Lume products for a wipe and also the deodorant which is a 48 bacteria guard for oder.
I suggest despite a hot climate wearing a trouser with a PATTERN and if you can buy two of the same and roll the spare up in your handbag. Put damp one if it happens you leaked in a zip lock bag as rinse out the crotch when at the place you stay at night.
I think you can confess privately to the friend you are comfortable with that you have developed a need to pee frequently and so apologize in advance for the inconvenience.

 

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You are just the best, MayMay941, thank you! This is exactly the info I need. Practical, real-life suggestions. I didn't know any of this.
One other question for travelling: I'm going to try pull-ups with booster pads, but if the booster pad leaks through and the pull-up gets pretty wet, what's the best way to change a pull-up in a public restroom? Bring a little pair of scissors to cut the pull-up off so shoes and pants don't have to be removed in order to change the pull-up? I can see I'm going to need a pretty big handbag or daypack to carry all this stuff, but it will be worth it to know I'm prepared. Good idea, too, about confiding in a friend. THANK YOU!!!

 

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You are right!! Bring a small pair of scissors!
If you are flying to the destination put the checked luggage not the carry on.
Dispose of the used stuff in the public restrooms in the trash that suits you.

 

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I was wondering, if you cut off a pull up, how do you get the replacement one on without taking off trousers - but Maymay941 has just answered this.

When travelling, if going by air, is there any way you could alert the airport/security authorities of your condition? Just wondering if this would be helpful, I don't know - an American could advise better on that.

My condition is Over-Active Bladder - stress incontinence, urgency, frequency; there since birth, but much worse since about 2005, and worse again and really difficult since I had my first Covid vaccination.

Travelling and staying away, and being with other people: if I were being driven I would indeed explain that I need to stop frequently and, also, usually urgently (I lost count of the number of gates into useful fields that I climbed over when I was younger and on country drives...) I travel with plastic bags to dispose of rubbish. I stayed with cousins in Greece in the countryside years ago, and had my bag of rubbish to dispose of with me when I was leaving; when they stopped to put rubbish in a municipal bin I put mine there too. If necessary I would have kept it with me until I was in a public bathroom, say in a shop or a station or at the airport, where I could have left it legitimately. What about a small backpack to carry your things in? A lot of people have that sort of thing now.

I'll write again if I think of anything else. All the best; think out what you need to do during your time away, so that, as you say, you can be prepared, be optimistic, and enjoy the trip.

 

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TO REPLACE PULL UPS in trousers
Cut off wet pull ups
Wip body with a deodorizing wipe like Lume.

Now lay the new pull up in side the crotch of trousers while sitting down.

Extend the right leg of pull up into the trouser leg and work through the ankle opening

Slide it over the shoe and foot.

Work the pull up back up the trouser to the crotch
Do the other leg

Now you can stand and pull up the protector pull up pany and pull up the trousers

Sorry I forgot to say

 

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Hello Rabbitb3
I am new here also and have some of the same concerns. One of the hardest things I have done with trying to manage this problem of being less than continent is me finding it uncomfortable to talk about it with friends and family.

Welcome

 

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@Rabbit3 and @Ryon - I am also new here - and I think the question raised is the real challenge. Wear protection and enjoy life - but take the challenging talks and risk that the “secret” is discovered - or manage at home, which means sacrifice the many of the good parts of life at least the social part.
I have a long history of bedwetting, OAB and IBD. And I have felt the same challenge during IBD flares - where I have been running to the toilet 25-30 times a day, with almost non-existing response time. Running from the living room to the bathroom was often way to long… It was a very difficult decision to start wearing pull-ups, and I felt everyone would notice and comment or ask. But in reality, very few cared. Someone could obviously see some additional bulk - but it is not easy to detect. And most people are not looking for it - and will not discover.
One thing, I as a male, often found difficult is the lack of waste bins (apart from in public areas) - so it is difficult to dispose of used products. I always carried my little back pack with extra clothing and wipes.

 

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MayMay, thank you for your suggestions, experience and knowledge. You are always so helpful and empathic.

 

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Boasammy my typos are worse than ever. I blame it on dropping my tablet face down screen full of scratches.

 

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@rabbitb3 You can change your diaper, underwear, etc. by removing only one leg of shoe and pants. Put all the other stuff through the other leg hole of the diaper. I’ve been doing this for years because I used to have to change a lot (just clothes back then) between work and different events, like a date.

 

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@rabbitb3 Always happy to have another woman here. There are only nine active women on the NAFC compared to 1,000+ active men so please, please (!) stay with us.

I recommend forgetting about ever-inadequate pads and just using pull-ups or diapers. Think of them as using a necessary tool such as wearing eyeglasses or using a cane.

My favorite pull-ups are Depend “Night Defense”. They rarely leak for me, less than once a month. They are plastic-backed. A lot of people on the NAFC hate the Depend brand and claim it’s inadequate, but when you get to the bottom of it with them, they have never actually tried the “Night Defense“ line of Depend. They’re easy to find in any big box store and far more affordable than any other brand of pull-up or diaper.

To stop leaking completely, I can’t recommend bladder Botox injections enough. These are done by a urologist, not at a cosmetic spa.

Good luck!

 

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P.S. All Depend products have side seams that can be easily ripped off by hand, no need for scissors.

Be sure to try your products out before you travel.