Loss of sensation

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My 95 year old mother did not lose bladder control until her early 90's. ( Don't we all wish!) She began to wear diapers 5 years ago because she couldn't get to the bathroom on time. But in the last few days she finds herself suddenly soaked, with no idea that she was wetting herself. Her clothing is getting soaked. She is wondering about surgery. I wonder if they would operate on someone her age? Any Knowledgable advice that I can take to my discussion with her would be appreciated.

 

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What brand of diaper is she using? Something like betterdry or NorthShore megamax most likely will not leak.

 

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My experience of helping my 86 year old mother was in Florida. She had superb insurance and medicare so i found some doctors would try to milk it unless i intervened but most will be very unlikely to operate on a person in their 80s and older because of the risk of complications and death.
I know brave old folks can be single minded an stubborn so i would take a very simple statement such as , " mom, it isn't safe." And be willing to repeat this over and over. And then have "fascinating " debates on why you say that.
From my experience working with many elders and from living in Gods waiting room, Florida, i was aware of many, many stories of operations that were followed by pain sepsis and lingering bedridden conditions until death.
So add to that a plethora of people here who are 20 to 60 who had operations for incontinence that were unsuccessful and i think you can see that buying quality diapers and living each day with serenity is a better way to approach 100 in MY opinion.

 

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My stepfather just died in surgery for for a stroke. That was a different situation because that was his only chance and everyone knew it was not a good chance.

The older we get the more risky surgery gets. If it was me I would try to talk her out of any surgical procedures, except for perhaps very minor outpatient ones.

 

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My dad had bladder surgery when he was 78. The surgery took 10 hours - it was the longest 10 hours of my life! Fortunately, he is good now. They would never do the surgery today. Good luck with your mom.

 

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I so appreciate everyone's comments and advice from those who have been through it.

 

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I refused the offer of risky surgery and rely on nappies.