How to not be ashamed of wearing diapers?
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Mhart82 I would say overtime one just becomes more and more used to wearing and realizing it doesn’t really matter. No one really cares as they are to busy worrying about their own lives and things they have to complete.
Eventually you just become immune to it and at least for myself I really just don’t care what people think. I have enough stress in my life and with my health I don’t need to worry about things I can’t control.
Just my thoughts. Lol. Hope they help.
Cheers
Jason
Eventually you just become immune to it and at least for myself I really just don’t care what people think. I have enough stress in my life and with my health I don’t need to worry about things I can’t control.
Just my thoughts. Lol. Hope they help.
Cheers
Jason
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Hi @mhart82, that feeling of self-consciousness happens a lot especially when we first realize we need to wear protection. It's something that a lot of people here comment on so it isn't unusual. So please clarify again how long you've been wearing, or considering wearing diapers.
Getting comfortable where you go out in public knowing what you wear underneath is a process that takes some time and preparation. That means selecting clothes that don't call attention to the fact you're wearing something other than regular underwear. For me, a pair of relaxed fit jeans works well as does a pull-over polo shirt. Problem solved! But living in Florida, I can get away with that "uniform" pretty much the whole year. If I lived elsewhere I would likely have to come with an alternative. Also darker color pants are preferable as well.
And you also want to wear protection that is as discreet as possible yet still provides the level of protection that you need. That takes some time and trial and error. In other words you don't want to wear a super-absorbent overnight diaper if you only have a small void every couple of hours when just a moderate absorbency pull-up would do nicely. That would be overkill and would definitely call unwanted attention to you.
And this one is going to take practice: When out and about just walk confidently and give the appearance you're just going about your business. That will take your mind off of what you're wearing and why. And practice that approach and you'll begin to not even think about what you're wearing underneath at all!! Putting them on will become second nature just like you're putting on any other article of clothing. Well no one ever said it was going to be easy but a little practice and some thought given to what you wear will go a long way in helping that very understandable nervousness or fear that others will find out. I hope this helps and you know everyone on this forum is all about helping!!!
Getting comfortable where you go out in public knowing what you wear underneath is a process that takes some time and preparation. That means selecting clothes that don't call attention to the fact you're wearing something other than regular underwear. For me, a pair of relaxed fit jeans works well as does a pull-over polo shirt. Problem solved! But living in Florida, I can get away with that "uniform" pretty much the whole year. If I lived elsewhere I would likely have to come with an alternative. Also darker color pants are preferable as well.
And you also want to wear protection that is as discreet as possible yet still provides the level of protection that you need. That takes some time and trial and error. In other words you don't want to wear a super-absorbent overnight diaper if you only have a small void every couple of hours when just a moderate absorbency pull-up would do nicely. That would be overkill and would definitely call unwanted attention to you.
And this one is going to take practice: When out and about just walk confidently and give the appearance you're just going about your business. That will take your mind off of what you're wearing and why. And practice that approach and you'll begin to not even think about what you're wearing underneath at all!! Putting them on will become second nature just like you're putting on any other article of clothing. Well no one ever said it was going to be easy but a little practice and some thought given to what you wear will go a long way in helping that very understandable nervousness or fear that others will find out. I hope this helps and you know everyone on this forum is all about helping!!!
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Not sure your situation but adult diapers should not be considered shameful - what’s more shameful is when you wake up and your sheets are wet - I’ve been going to a urologist and on my 2nd set of pills - yea the 2nd set is not working - I lose bladder control about 3-4 times a week during the night - wearing protection- so called a diaper is not a big deal - rather wake up with a wet diaper than wet bed sheets
Adult diapers are not made to be little anyone - don’t be ashamed but be good you are dealing with it wit protection- my 2 cents
Chad
Adult diapers are not made to be little anyone - don’t be ashamed but be good you are dealing with it wit protection- my 2 cents
Chad
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I used to be just like you and when I once bought depends at the store I would kings try to hide them and make a bee line to the register. Over time I’ve learned to deal with it and not care anymore. I figure everyone goes we just do it differently just like any other disabled person may do things differently. Also It’s a MEDICAL problem not like we’re wearing them for pleasure or something and don’t really need them. It takes time to get over it but eventually as you talk to others and think about it on your own and try to accept and get used to your condition it gets easier to deal with and then you don’t care. People may even have compassion for you and feel sorry for you. There are jerks sometimes but most aren’t that way. Then it’s just for me and probably others I just really get sick of wearing these damn things and everything that goes with it. Hope that might help. Take care and hang in there.
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I think we all go through that period of transition, and it usually just takes time to get used to. I went through this, but had a great group of councilors including my Docs, Nurses, Physical Therapists etc. due to the fact I was in the hospital quite a while. Eventually it just became second nature, or 1st nature however you want to look at it!
Back to Blissfullyunawares comment, this something we all can visualize vividly, but flip it around and it would also be odd, and earn me some ribbing if I tucked my shirt into my boxers right? I’m sure I would have heard about that one too!
I guess after a period of time it all becomes relative, thank god!
Back to Blissfullyunawares comment, this something we all can visualize vividly, but flip it around and it would also be odd, and earn me some ribbing if I tucked my shirt into my boxers right? I’m sure I would have heard about that one too!
I guess after a period of time it all becomes relative, thank god!
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When I went to my first continence appointment I was wearing a nappy because it was over an hours drive away
The continence nurse asked what I was wearing and as I had a spare nappy with me I showed her
when she did a bladder ultrasound on me she undid the top of my jeans and she said did you know you are wet
That was the first time I had worn in public and I was not ashamed and because I have to wear a nappy all the time now I am not bothered by it
The continence nurse asked what I was wearing and as I had a spare nappy with me I showed her
when she did a bladder ultrasound on me she undid the top of my jeans and she said did you know you are wet
That was the first time I had worn in public and I was not ashamed and because I have to wear a nappy all the time now I am not bothered by it
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I would say that it does get better over time. I am over a year into wearing 24/7 and even though I am still self aware I just don't worry as much.
Yesterday, I went to a park (Knoebles) with my parents. It was packed. I had my normal everything but the kitchen sink backpack with me. Only rode one ride (Because that is all I wanted to) and had a funnel cake.
On the way to the car my bowels decide that they hate me like always and I had to rush to the bathroom. I made it to the close family bathroom and only had a small accident (Good thing because I was only wearing a pullup) but it was great that I had a family bathroom to clean up in.
When I was leaving the bathroom a family was waiting but nothing was said.
Truly we emotionally traumatize ourselves over this stuff when really no one cares. I think that it all starts as kids when potty training starts and the idea of not being in diapers kicks in. What I have learned from having a mom and sister that both taught special needs is that once it is realized that a kid may never be functionally able to potty train, then the family does not make an issue out of it. And why would they.
We have to except ourselves as we are and not as we should be because none of us are as we should be.
Yesterday, I went to a park (Knoebles) with my parents. It was packed. I had my normal everything but the kitchen sink backpack with me. Only rode one ride (Because that is all I wanted to) and had a funnel cake.
On the way to the car my bowels decide that they hate me like always and I had to rush to the bathroom. I made it to the close family bathroom and only had a small accident (Good thing because I was only wearing a pullup) but it was great that I had a family bathroom to clean up in.
When I was leaving the bathroom a family was waiting but nothing was said.
Truly we emotionally traumatize ourselves over this stuff when really no one cares. I think that it all starts as kids when potty training starts and the idea of not being in diapers kicks in. What I have learned from having a mom and sister that both taught special needs is that once it is realized that a kid may never be functionally able to potty train, then the family does not make an issue out of it. And why would they.
We have to except ourselves as we are and not as we should be because none of us are as we should be.
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I had a coworker who had kids and became incontinent after giving birth tell me "Why should we be ashamed of something that isn't our fault or choice?" and that has become profound.
Last week at work someone did see my pullups sticking out of my work pants and nobody told me, despite I was frustrated I don't really care anymore, because it isn't my fault. Over time the stigma fades, but I also can buy incontinence products in front of anyone. Accepting your incontinence to me removes the shame and stigma.
Last week at work someone did see my pullups sticking out of my work pants and nobody told me, despite I was frustrated I don't really care anymore, because it isn't my fault. Over time the stigma fades, but I also can buy incontinence products in front of anyone. Accepting your incontinence to me removes the shame and stigma.
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That's very true @ThatFLGuy, and others, no one is perfect (although some people will lead you to believe otherwise) and you'll save a lot of stress and anguish if you just accept yourself as you are and not as you think you should be.
And the only stigma you feel regarding incontinence is that which is brought on yourself. After all if no one makes any comments about it then why worry about what might have been said or what may be said? Those who you see around you are so wrapped up in their own problems that they don't even give a second thought to what somebody else may or may not be wearing.
So it's better to just accept what your condition is and come up with your own ways to handle it.
And the only stigma you feel regarding incontinence is that which is brought on yourself. After all if no one makes any comments about it then why worry about what might have been said or what may be said? Those who you see around you are so wrapped up in their own problems that they don't even give a second thought to what somebody else may or may not be wearing.
So it's better to just accept what your condition is and come up with your own ways to handle it.
Archives1
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I'm new to wearing diapers, but it has never occurred to me to be self-conscious about wearing them. The only person who can tell I'm wearing a diaper is the person I choose to tell/show that I am wearing a diaper. Before I found good supports (diapers and padding), I was self-conscious about people noticing that I smelled like urine. I have asked several close family and friends, and they all deny that they can smell urine on me. I have also found diapers in the form of boxer briefs that are really streamlined, and only slightly bulky in the crotch area to catch leakage. Admittedly, they are a somewhat pricey, but they are reusable, and I never leave home without them.
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I had a few problems growing up last wet 13yr then good for several yrs but in my 50 started having problems again.My wife who is my big supporter suggested diapers to control wetting been in them 30yrs was soo self conscious about people seeing my diaper finally had to say who cares.I know people have seen it.
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True story-A week ago at work I was lifting some items at my job and my pullups were sticking out of my pants quite a bit unfortunately. Nobody has said a word to me about it, and honestly if anyone does that means they don't have much going on in their life. It really is only a big deal as we mentally make it.
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Well said @ICGamer.
Actually, well said twice.
I used to be tortured with anxiety that my pads would show through my clothing. But who was it that was doing the torture? No one but myself. I could just as easily have chosen to be a friend to myself.
Thankfully no one has ever given any indication that they know what's going on in my pants - or that they care.
If anyone did it would be mortifying (of course) but how little they must have in their life to care about that!
Actually, well said twice.
I used to be tortured with anxiety that my pads would show through my clothing. But who was it that was doing the torture? No one but myself. I could just as easily have chosen to be a friend to myself.
Thankfully no one has ever given any indication that they know what's going on in my pants - or that they care.
If anyone did it would be mortifying (of course) but how little they must have in their life to care about that!
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