Crossing a line. Pullups to diapers.

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Just wondering. Diapers and pullups both have their pros and cons, obviously. When one switches over and it becomes *more* difficult to voluntarily use a toilet, do the problems get more frequent, smaller voids, etc.
Obviously, pullups don't contain like a diaper and thus are prone to leaks. So, using the alternative you are better protected but end up using it and just giving up by taking the convenient route.
It's sort of like just giving up and accepting it, which I guess I'm at a point where I'm ok with that. I'm just going to manage it now.
I'm just making the observation that I think the decision to start wearing a diaper instead of a pullup is crossing a line, the same as going from wearing just for bedwetting to having to wear during the day.
Now for my final observation, which I hope is appropriate here, since I think it has some relevance, though it'll most likely cause a few snickers.
In order to extend the life of my product during the day, or night if I happen to wake up, I can reach down the front of the diaper with my left hand and with my right hand get out the side to voluntarily use a toilet, which extends the useable life and saves me money. I post this because when you open tapes, they don't always stick reliably the second time around, although the Northshore Supreme Lites that I use are pretty good with that.
Sorry girls, I'm pretty sure this only works for us guys.

 

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As we all know, everyone’s situation is different. In reference to reaching in and holding your penis so you can control the void, I’ve done this at home for the past 10 years. I’m older, no kids, and the wife totally understands. In my situation, I’m able to wake up and do the same at night. In public, when I know I’ll be unable to have access to a toilet, I’ll double the liners of my pull-up. Doing this allows me more time before changing liners/pull-ups. The only thing with pull-ups (Depends) is to make sure you wear long pants with a wide leg, enabling you to take of your pants without taking off your shoes. Still not totally sanitary, but more convenient. Again, we’re all different in our situations, so we all should try to adapted as best we can. Just my thoughts.

 

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I had the same thoughts and feelings when I made the switch. Pullups just weren't sufficient and I had some leaks but also they're a huge pain in the butt to change in public restooms...need to remove pants and shoes. A diaper can be changed in a matter of seconds once you get used to it.

But yeah I definitely had those same feelings of giving up or even questioning if I was being lazy and then feeling all this guilt over it. The reality is, I have a pretty lousy condition (OAB with sever urge IC for me)that no medication was ever able to cure or even effectively treat. Ultimately I was left with a choice to keep trying new meds, or have very invasive surgery which had no guarantee of working. Neither of those options really appealed to me and I decided that it was in my best interest to just manage the symptoms with absorbent products.

Before my daytime symptoms got out of hand I was already wearing diapers to bed and was at least somewhat used to the idea. But wearing one for the first time during the day, to work was an emotionally charged event. I had a hard time with it for quite a while. But ultimately I got used to it and was able to appreciate staying dry. Yes, wearing diapers is embarrassing and yes it's mortifying to have people find out. But a bulky diaper under your pants is a lot less noticeable than you think (the wearer is just hyper aware of it) and even a bulky diaper is a lot more discreet than soaked pants in front of people.

I don't really remember exactly when I decided not to bother with the bathroom for urination but it wasn't long after making the switch. With the double taped diapers most common now, it's possible to untape a side and then retape, and I did this for a bit. But as my symptoms got worse and worse and I lost more and more control it starting feeling like a fool's errand to rush to the bathroom. I'm not sure I'd say I ever really purposely wet my diaper, but I did consciously stop trying to get to the bathroom. With my severe urge IC, once I have to go, it's gonna happen fairly quickly on it's own most of the time anyway. While on the one hand I felt some guilt about "giving up" I also had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders in terms of losing all the stress and anxiety that comes with the mad dash to the bathroom which often resulted in failure anyway. Over time it got easier and easier and I'm in a pretty good place now as far as acceptance goes.

I'm also fortunate enough to have a really good income and ability to afford top quality products and change as often as needed. That's a partial factor as well as I don't feel much of a need to try to save the life of the diaper. But like I said, early on I did try to un-tape a side and use the bathroom.

I think the best advice I can give on this stuff is to just do what feels right for you. You know your body and your needs better than anyone. Use the products you know will make your life the easiest and give it time...you'll grow to accept "crossing that line".

 

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In general, the tabbed brief is more absorbent than the disposable protective underwear ("Pull Up")when you are using the traditional products available at most stores and that online retailers tend to spotlight. However... with some of the higher performing product lines (i.e. ABENA, Seni, perhaps a few select others) the advanced absorbency of the "Pull Up" that they offer exceeds the absorbency of the traditional tabbed briefs. This allows you to use a pull up vs. a tabbed brief if the primary reason you've transitioned to the tabbed brief is a need for more absorbency. As far as your solution to urinate by pulling the product aside, this is a great idea and allows you to not only use fewer products, but also hang on to the habit of toileting in a more traditional sense...this is important. Also, with some of these higher performing brands, you will see that they use a hybrid closure system that features an adhesive (tape-like) aspect as well as a hook-n-loop ("velcro") feature allowing you to open and close the tabbed brief multiple times before the closure system is voided due to an ability to stick firmly. Hope this helps!