ADULT Dating while incontinent in the age of Covid and loneliness

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ive been growing and learning to accept myself as a whole person while on the forum over some few years and the subject of "dating" has come up sometimes often from a 20 something year old but im interested in ALL ages to see how we can address this concept.
For a mature aged adult past the time of hope of procreation and marriage it can be quite lonely struggling with prostate issues (men) and leaking or bedwetting (often common in women, for example, but not limited to). Now even a trip to a coffee spot or grocery or other activities rubbing shoulders with people has become obselete. For adults over 45 or older this loss of hope of interpersonal connection can become crippling depression.
So what of the loneliness of wanting to have a friend personal to ones own intimate desires within the confines of our personal moral constricts which vary of course in tolerance and love
9f sexuality) that cannot be expressed or met on a public forum and feel awkward to initiate in a private message?
I wonder how we can reach out to "date"and maybe never meet given that "dating" would have to be a written exchange of hopes and desires, a flirtation that would enhance the individuals sense of themselves as a whole person and this spsrkle up an otherwise limited life experience wondering if one can do more than pray to find the means of incontinence protection.
Flirtation respectfully with a pregiven statement of the "goal" can be healthy and sllieviste loneliness, create a new out look on the daily life, open doors within mutuslly stated boundaries.
Ive myself been learning about Astral projection and Tantric sex.
 
The reality is that A LOT of us older folks have various kinks and/or medical issues. I'd encourage you to vet out a dating site for mature individuals and go for it. Think about all the crap that befalls us as our bodies age. You're in the same boat as a lot of us! Hearing issues, joint pain, bowel issues, incontinence, etcetera, etcetera. Whoever thought we'd get to where we have to be careful what we eat (e.g. I can't handle spicy hot food anymore) and what we drink? One double IPA for me and I'm ready to lie down! Anyway, go for the dating site and connect with someone. You'll be happy you did!
 
Goldenroadie thats part of my point or at least what I've discovered, is that depression shuts down ones libido (and depression is a factor in dealing with incontinence at any age and of those who seek out the forum which is a great help actually)and I cringe listening to my older women friends clucking and chuckling over their loss of various body functions from ear to toe.
So I've been exploring the concepts of the use of the mind not the body to be the young healthy vibrant person that lives inside and not dependent on the physical body but the well spring of the mind to be the person who lives within.
This has been very useful with the restrictions of being home this last year with covid restrictions
 
may941 said:
Goldenroadie thats part of my point or at least what I've discovered, is that depression shuts down ones libido (and depression is a factor in dealing with incontinence at any age and of those who seek out the forum which is a great help actually)and I cringe listening to my older women friends clucking and chuckling over their loss of various body functions from ear to toe.
So I've been exploring the concepts of the use of the mind not the body to be the young healthy vibrant person that lives inside and not dependent on the physical body but the well spring of the mind to be the person who lives within.
This has been very useful with the restrictions of being home this last year with covid restrictions
@may941

Hey. Appreciate your honesty. Covid has really made anyone dealing with depression and anxiety 10 times worse and then if you are single and trying to date it feels impossible. And that’s for individuals that don’t have any medical issues.

Kind of related but kind of not. I tried dating after I was assaulted. And once I got comfortable with the guy just over messaging I would mention it to him. And just kept it open, “if this is something that’s hard for you to accept that is ok,” giving them the choice. Each time I did I was not shot down

Hope this helps. For me personally, dating is off the table period due to trauma but you do make me think about how I would have to bring this up if it got into more depth
 
may941 said:
Goldenroadie thats part of my point or at least what I've discovered, is that depression shuts down ones libido (and depression is a factor in dealing with incontinence at any age and of those who seek out the forum which is a great help actually)and I cringe listening to my older women friends clucking and chuckling over their loss of various body functions from ear to toe.
So I've been exploring the concepts of the use of the mind not the body to be the young healthy vibrant person that lives inside and not dependent on the physical body but the well spring of the mind to be the person who lives within.
This has been very useful with the restrictions of being home this last year with covid restrictions

I follow these thoughts. I like that philosophy!


Cheers!
Andy
 
I haven’t dated in many many years. I’m 43 and was sexually assaulted when I was 20. I dated a few people afterwards but gave up after I started medically transitioning. Then many years later had my accident which caused the incontinence. Then my amputation. And I feel way too damaged to date. “Damaged goods” is definitely how I feel.
 
Hi EJ, I completely agree with @graphicedge. There is someone out their who will love you for who you are and that the physical "stuff" does not define you as a person. If someone is too worried about the physical then that is their problem to deal with. But when you fall for someone, sure the physical is there but it comes from the overall person who you are that someone is attracted to. And in that scenario whoever is attracted to you also accepts the physical "stuff." I hope that all makes sense. Bottom line: please don't count yourself out of the game by any stretch of the imagination!!!!! You're not done, it's just that the right person just hasn't met you .......yet!!!!
 
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