A Lunar Landing

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Hey guys,

I had a very promising conversation with someone which left me with more hope than disappointment. My feelings were validated thank God; however, i am still feeling thus. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel a long journey is still ahead? As if, your trials are far from over? Its as if i traveled a long distance from the Earth to the Moon; and now that i have landed; i have to start taking steps. I feel like a fish out of water, a bee without a hive.

But tonight i reflect and say, I survived!

Im starting to feel human again. I feel my voice is finally being heard. But anyway,

If you are suffering from any situation and in these instances on the NAFC message boards from continence issues - you will get through it.

You will prevail, you will meet every obstacle head on and wake up each day a better person. You will walk through the mud, the snow, the sand - and you will be stronger for it.

Don't feel labeled because of a name or a term. I felt embittered for so long over the word "incontinence" and "bedwetting". Its things I dont really open up to others about unless they are in the same boat - or are personally very close to.

Im very fortunate enough to have a doctor/urologist who gives me dignity when talking about the topic, i get very embarassed and softspoken/lathargic with those words - so they cater to my humility. "Enuresis" works for me. Of course, when describing my condition, they still have to use "urge incontinence" and medical jargon and things like that. But im very thankful that when starting out the conversation, a less damaging term is used.

Im thankful i have a doctor that cares enough to see there patients humility - i suppose its the character trait of "Knowing your patients".

Does anybody else feel embarassed/ashamed when having to explain themselves on these conditions to the doctor?

I remember growing up having to go to the doctor/uroligist - and those days i just felt helpless. I was under my moms care - so those days you kinda just dont really care. More of the humiliation and scare was feeling alone during sleepovers and boy scouts, etc. The doctors was the least of my concerns.

Now as a young adult; its not so much about; its about feeling different and embarassed in general about people talking to you about it and treating you differently because of it.

My humble thoughts,
HC

 

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Hi honeeeecombs

I appreciate what you are saying but I just want to spin something to you.

Why do you feel ashamed etc. those are learned behaviours. Basically what I am trying to say is maybe try to unlearn them. Lol. Much easier said then done.

Furthermore doctors have heard it all so don’t be embarrassed to discuss things with them. Sometimes to from what you are saying I think you may agree with my next line or you may not. I think in the majority of the instances where you have discussed this here they are instances where it is a problem for you.

Just in that sentence I turned the focus on yourself. If you can recognize that then perhaps you can guide / direct conversations in manners in which you are totally comfortable rather than letting someone else control the conversation.

Not sure if this helps. I hope it does as this isn’t easy however you will find out we are our own worse enemies. At least for me that’s what I found out. I made everything in my head a huge deal when in reality it wasn’t anything, barely noticed and or discussed. People who care about you will accept you for who you are.

With care and love and much kindness….

Jason

 

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Hi honeeeecombs

I appreciate what you are saying but I just want to spin something to you.

Why do you feel ashamed etc. those are learned behaviours. Basically what I am trying to say is maybe try to unlearn them. Lol. Much easier said then done.

Furthermore doctors have heard it all so don’t be embarrassed to discuss things with them. Sometimes to from what you are saying I think you may agree with my next line or you may not. I think in the majority of the instances where you have discussed this here they are instances where it is a problem for you.

Just in that sentence I turned the focus on yourself. If you can recognize that then perhaps you can guide / direct conversations in manners in which you are totally comfortable rather than letting someone else control the conversation.

Not sure if this helps. I hope it does as this isn’t easy however you will find out we are our own worse enemies. At least for me that’s what I found out. I made everything in my head a huge deal when in reality it wasn’t anything, barely noticed and or discussed. People who care about you will accept you for who you are.

With care and love and much kindness….

Jason

Thank you Jason,

That is the 100% truth. I am very very critical about myself - almost to a way that is self damaging. Deep down, I love who I am; but at the same time - I also suffer from self hate.

Bladder issues are a touchy subject for myself. You are right in the fact that shame is something that is taught. I don't think I would have struggled so much with dealing with bladder issues; if it wasn't so much a deep wound from my past.

Bless you Jason -

Sincerely,
HC

 

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WOW!

Your story snow is absolutely incredible, and truly inspiring. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger as they say.

With the people I've met on here, it has only continued to build myself up and make a case for myself and my own story. You are so right about the NAFC and how much it helps. I go back in my post history and look back and it's like looking at a timeline of my medical history and I can think back to myself and say -

"Wow. I'm a survivor!".

I have been through the ringer myself at the unfortunate hands of others - but yesterday and this morning upon reflecting - I know, I am doing the right thing. Your words are encouraging.

Thinking of you Snow, may good Karma come your way ❄. You do not deserve to be treated indifferently or unheard with your physical ailments. To anybody that doesnt; than say, the heck with them!

Bill once said, "They know not what there doing but you do know the score!" That encouraged myself when dealing with humility when purchasing continrnts products.

Positive Vibes,
HC

 

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GOOD LUCK HANG IN THERE.

 

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Shit happens. It happened to me. But this is what I want you to know: It sounds like you have a serious issue with your cervical spine. I had surgery on mine after suffering for years. I could even eat out with friends w/o holding my head up with one hand! Made it look casual, though and never complained. Was terrified of getting the surgery. When my Dermatologist told me I had odd itchy spots that generally indicated severe cervical issues, I told him I was afraid of the surgery and had postponed it for almost 2 years. He basically got in my face and said, "Get the surgery!" He told me I would lose the use of my hand if I did not. I had it, no problems, and. I don't have neck pain any more. Do your research for a great neck/head surgeon, and get yourself on a roster for surgery if you need it. So many friends have had hip replacements postponed repeatedly. I'm hoping you get relief soon!

 

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@Honeeecombs Thank you I will take good karma Also, if you’re not referring to @billiveshere, I, too, know Thee Bill I also send you good karma.

@Etowah Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. I think you’re right. On the night of 12/27, I was driving home in a blizzard. Maybe I was just driving with my hands too tight on the wheel, but after only three minutes, both of my hands locked up. First it was one, then while trying to rub it with the other to unlock it, the other suddenly did it, too. I couldn’t bend nor straighten them for about 10 minutes. I could barely use my iPhone to call my mom. It was scary. Fortunately I was able to pull over in a church parking lot until it went away. The pain went from above my wrists through the tip of my middle fingers and was on a straight axis, like there was suddenly a rod in there. Super weird. I really didn’t like it. I see the spine doctor on 1/18. If she says the neck surgery is more urgent than my knee replacement, well, I guess that’s the surgery I’ll do first then! For now, I’ve been in bed for a week with Flu B, despite having been vaccinated. You’re right; shit happens, life, happens. I’m glad I don’t have COVID again.

My grandmother never walked again after her hip replacements and spent the last 12 years of her life in a nursing home, so I understand why some may be loathe to get those. She was too heavy for family to care for exclusively and had too many diabetes complications, but she didn’t weigh more than 220. It doesn’t take much to be a “three-person assist.” I’ll likely need my hips done, too, especially after how much ballet I did, and if so,I’ll try to get them done earlier in life than she did so I have a better chance at recuperation.

I’m glad your neck is better and may life continue to improve for you.

Thank you both for your encouragement.

 

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@Honeeecombs I have faith that you life will continue to improve overall because you’re actively working toward that, and aware of your need to do so. And because you’re here on this forum!